I apologize

At times I hurt you with my doubts
To the point that you think about walking out.
It makes the tears roll down my face
Because it scares me to lose what I can't replace.
I always let my past get in our future
Which causes doubts in my mind.
It stimulates my speculations
And I believe that you're like the other kind.
I'm not realizing that I'm pushing you away
While all along I just need you to stay.
My life without you is like a pen with no ink.
So useless, unmarkable, 
How could I think?
You make me light up like the sun's ray.
Just knowing that I have you gets me 
Through the day.
I need you in my life; 
You may not think it's true.
My heart is owned to your name
Because I love you.
Please forgive me for my despise
I'll never do it again; I apologize.