Am I dead ..!

I'm alive just in body's face because inside me, 
I feel that I'm not any more in this place
I lost my spirit, I broke my old habit
Now I'm lock in this secret
As you can see and feel it...
I don't have dreams
I lost the wish of a new future
I even lost my old screams
That made me felt that I was immature
I lost my sharpness mind
I'll hold, hold what I find
I'm always lost and blind
Because my life lost the big why
The why I was here ..!!
The why I fought for ..!
The why I would breathe with my sickness lung..!!
The why I wont go out from that door
Am I alive ? Am I dead ? 
Did I lose the control of my head ?