This.. Is my life.

O.. there it is again, i'm down on my knees, with my head in my hands, I stumble to my feet weaker then before, my head hurting, ears ringing and my spine killing. I can see the light in the darkness that surrounds my life knowing that I will never reach it in time.
My body is so weak and so thiny, I find it hard to breath some times, the pain it hurts so much sometimes I think i'm dieing, my head is so full of noise so loud.. O, it's going to explode.
I feel so alone in this world of mine, walking around like a vanishing shafow, if only I didn’t build so many walls but some people build them to keep people out, and some to see who cares enough to try and knock them down…
it's coming… I can feel it, it starts in my neck then down my spine…then Bang it shoots back up into my head then whack, i'm down on my knees shouting… o God.. why me…please.!! 
the stars in my eyes blind me and the noise in my head deafens my senses, I cant breath... Is this the end…..? 
slowly I come around, I crawl toward the light, trembling like a leaf in the wind.
I can't describe this feeling inside, lost and confused, alone and unique, just to try and name a few.
I feel sick, oh so sick why all this happiness to me.!
I collapse to the floor in a heap, to weak to carry on, just wishing I was dead.
As I lay there can't even crying in intense pain all I can see and hear is my kid smiling faces saying I love you daddy…
what remains of my heart sinks even deeper into stomach, making me sick.
I'v got to get up and keep moving, if not or me then for my little angles…i'v got to find my lost strength.
my hearts is beating faster then the time before, as I try to stand up I collapse…i'm so weak…
I finely find my feet thou still wobbly I carry on, i'v got to keep fighting…i'v got to be a survivor not a failure for my family.
I wouldn’t wish this feeling the worst person in this wicked world we all share.
I know it won't belong till it comes back around, so i'v got to keep moving to make up some ground. Cold and alone, with no confert in site. So, this is my life, and this is were i'm shore i'm destend to stay hoping to reach that distent light some day.
this is just one grain of sand on a beach, called my life…this is me….this is my true life.