Fatality

Deep inside my own hate.
Deep inside my own disgrace.
that feirce taste of regret.
that feirce fear of not knowing who to trust.
the aching pain of betrayal.
the betrayed and the betrayer.
the constant reinactment of my hellful past.
that constant thought of hate.
stuck inbetween life and death.
where to go from here? 
what to do from here? 
can i escape this hell abyss? 
or will my fatal reality eat me alive? 
tortured by this insane sensation of death.
it's screaming my name.
who do i turn to? 
do i put my trust and heart out there again? 
or let my 'friends' continue to feast on it? 
love; the new hate.
Fear; the new brave.
hell; the new heaven compared to earth.
life itself is un-bearable.
life is just a sick game.
people are the evil pawns.
i am the target.
i'm ready for the face of death.
will death be beautiful or vulgar? 
i'm ready for the serene darkness, full of screaming silence.
hit me..