Fake Drug

I shed too many tears and wasted too much time thinking of you

I devoted so much time to you 
In return all I got where my own tears
Nights I couldn’t sleep
I ask over and over
What am I doing wrong
But then I realize that it was you the whole time
I gave you my smile and you almost gave me a child
Every time you needed me I gave into you like a drug
And I suffer the side effects alone in my bedroom
Were you last left me with out a sound
Was this another hit it and quit it
Cause I haven't heard from you in a minute now
And its getting pretty late
I'm just surprised you haven't checked up on me
Should've thought twice before I overdosed on you
Cause you were the fake shit
But since I've already opened you up and saw what was really inside 
it was too late
I was ripped off but now I'm screwed cause there's no refunds

Troubles of Life

Life may be hard,
and life may be cruel,
But people beware,
'cause your no fool.
You make hard decisions, 
and have many fights,
You make few wrongs, 
but you make more rights.
Life is not easy,
and it's sure not fair,
But hopefully it's bearable,
knowing I'm there.
You have lack in your faith,
and fear in your heart,
Of what's been decided, 
and you've no part.
But your strong people,
and you make your own path,
Your worries will end,
and you'll suffer no wrath.
Your path is your own,
and yours alone,
You've been given a second chance,
smile and bring cheer,
And dance a happy dance.

Life

Swiss of color, fabric of silk 

Breakfast as simple as cornflakes and milk

Occults fascinate and horror chills
Just another teenager trying to find more thrills
Beaches of white, Ocean of blue
The love of my life and it's true
Nature and music entwine as one
Homework, papers and books are never done
Friends misunderstand, that's what I can't stand
Why don't they take me as I am?
I rebel but with a cause
To change all within me that is flawed.
Understand me it's not that hard
Emotions play a very BIG part
Thoughts of mine fly like color in time
Sing song of harmony that fall in rhyme
Try to understand me that's all I ask
Try to understand me and this too shall pass

My Life

The things I've seen will scar me for life,

growing up I've seen wrong and very little of right,
I hear a sad song and tears roll down my face,
I look in the mirror and feel so out of place,
I don't want to become something larger than life,
I want to become something real and so right,
do they understand am I understood,
can life be better I wish that it could, 
before I make a decision I always think twice,
they say what can I do to help you feel better 
I say nothing because this is my life

A Soldier Died Alone

A midst the desert sands dawnings just begun, battle rages on, bombing veils the rising sun.

A boy not yet a man holds a picture to his heart, of loved ones not forgotten though oceans keep them apart.
Called to serve his country, land of freedom home of brave, risking his existence for the lives that he may save.
Concealing his dismay he holds his head up high, his arms embrace a trusted friend watching him slowly die.
A boy he is no more, on that day there stood a man,
his heart filled with rage, his mind fights to understand.
Raised to be a man of God, taught thou shalt not kill,
now placed upon the battlefield where there tis his only will.
Resting beneath the sunset, wounded he dreams of home,
lying on the desert's floor a soldier died alone.

Eternal Love

I stand alone on the sandy beach 

my tears flowing into the sea 
because I know you’re out of reach 
and no longer here with me
You looked so handsome laying there
In eternal sleep forever
The pain I hide is too much to bare
I want us to be together
But I am needed on this lonely land
for a little longer at least
to help and guide the people I love
giving them reassurance and peace
so I’ll be on the shoreline here
to cry more tears over you
On your birthday every year
to celebrate our love so true
Until it's time to meet once more
to hold and love one another
as we did all those years ago 
when I was your friend and lover.

After Foreve

There is nothing stay forever .. but after Forever .. We usually Fall in the  Cry .. Silence from Afar

My Paintbrush

I keep my paint brush with me wherever I may go,

IN case I need to cover up so the real me doesn’t show. 
I’m so afraid to show you me, 
'Fraid of what you'll do-that you might laugh or say mean things. 
I'd like to remove all my painted coats to show you the real true me, 
but I want you to understand, 
I need you to accept me for what you see, 
so if you'll be patient and close your eyes. 
I'll strip off all my coats real slow. 
Please understand how much it hurts. 
TO let the real me show. 
Now my coats are all stripped off. 
I feel naked, bare and cold, 
And if you still love me with all that you see, 
You are my friend, pure as gold. 
I need to save my paintbrush, though, and hold it in my hand. 
I want to keep it handy In case somebody doesn’t understand. 
So please protect me, my dear friend 
And thanks for loving me true. 
You made me feel so happy. 
And I am no longer blue.

Live each day to the fullest

Sitting on the steps, looking across the lake,

Wondering why, life at times, can seem great.
But in that second, it took me to just think,
My life could change, faster than a blink.
Is this a reason why we should always cherish?
Not knowing when loved ones may suddenly perish.
Living everyday, like it was our very last,
for our days could be very long or go by very fast
So I'll cherish and take nothing for granted,
not say things that shouldn't be chanted.
If this is the last day I have on this earth,
I accept my life, for what it's been worth.
Tomorrow isn't promised to young or old alike,
Today may be the last day I'm able to hold you tight.
Don't wait for tomorrow, do it all today,
If tomorrow never comes, you'll never regret a day.

Dear Addiction

I’m writing this to you

Telling you were thru
I can’t take you anymore
Don’t know what I liked you for
All you did was wear me out
Now I know what your all about
You came to me with promise and joy
Now look at all the things you destroy
Families, lives, bank accounts you see
You ruined it all with one little tease
Look at the way you make me feel
Then you take it all and want me to steal
Why can’t you just go and hide
Somewhere far away where I’ll never find
Everyone at home don’t understand
How you rip me apart , then lend me a hand
I keep coming back thinking inside
Maybe this time I’ll make you my bride
Then I sit and wonder why
Why do you really want me to die
Thousands and thousands come to you
Hoping and praying you’ll help them thru
Then they fall for your lending hand
Only to realize your nothing but a scam
You promised me heaven and sent me to hell
You ruined my life and then wished me well
Watch me now as I go on my way
I’m washing myself of all of your pain
So you and your power can just leave me be
I’m taking my life and setting it free

Value Of Love

I have seen women lifted by love.

Countless women surrounded, fed, embraced by love.
But most recently I have met a woman condemned by love.
Alienated, starved, forgotten by love. 
The pain from love is visible in the eyes, heart, and soul of this woman.
She who lives for love, who would die for love.
Curiosity forces me to look deep into her. 
Big brown eyes tell of a man whose love was taken away as quickly as was given.
A selfish man whose compassion drowned in these eyes.
Taking advantage of the faith and forgiveness she possesses.
Tears roll down her cheeks and begin to drip from her delicate chin. 
As sympathy overwhelms me I invite myself in for a better look.
A bleeding heart welcomes me to the truth behind this love.
What once was bliss has transformed.
The love that filled now forces her to starve.
An endless hunger that consumes, leaving nothing for this woman.
This man has stripped her of all that she loved including himself.
He has laughed at her sorrow and found comfort in her misery.
My heart breaks for her as she opens up to let me in. 
One foot after the other I step into her soul. 
My thoughts echo as I begin to connect with her sorrows.
"Stop," catches her attention as I start to reason with her.
"Do not give yourself to this man."
Confusion fills her as she wakes to catch my gaze.
"If your love/your life mean so little to you that you can just give it away, why should it mean any more to him?" 
I hear these words and reality sets in. 
I have met this woman in love.
Alienated, starved, forgotten by love.
I have seen into her eyes, felt her heartache, and visited her soul.
This muse whose sorrow connects so genuinely with mine... is ME!
I have given my life to a man who has never asked nor has he ever cared for it.
I have believed and made true all lies.
I have accepted inferiority, for how can he value me more than I value myself?

New Morning, New Life

Remember And Forgive

Time has come to say goodbye
But in my heart you'll always stay
I'll walk away and hide my tears
And forever I'll remember this day
I'll remember how my heart did break
Remember the way you words stung me
But I'll forgive you, it's not your fault
And I'll deal with the fact that we weren't meant to be.

When Love Begins

I always knew that love would come find me someday

but never did I know that it would be you who was headed my way
you caught me off guard and took me by surprise
but you simply captivated me, the same way you do when I look into your eyes
It's true that every good and perfect gift is from above
you were presented to me as a beautifully packaged gift full of humor, talent, intelligence, beauty and love
"it isn't finding the perfect person but learning to see an imperfect person perfectly"
we all have our flaws but when I view you through my eyes, perfection is all I see
From when you laugh to when you're upset, I still love the little things you do
especially hearing you laugh and seeing your nose wrinkle the same way mine does too
coming into this relationship has been hard at times but we've made it through
I know as long as we're on this journey together, there's nothing that we can't do.
Sometimes I wonder if what we have is too good to be true
too scared to get my heart broken and scared of the thought of losing you
but in the end, I trust in the author and perfecter of what I believe
because what we ask for in Him, we in return shall receive
"Where your treasure is, your heart will be also" is how the saying goes
I may not know what tomorrow may bring, for God is the only one who knows
the one thing I do know is that you are my one and only
a treasure in my heart that I want to devote my whole life to completely
I know I don't need to prove my feelings to know they're true
because what I've known in my past, doesn't come close to the experience I've shared with you
I've had the experience of being in relationships before
however, this is the first time I've been truly happy... I couldn't ask for anything more
it's an honor to know that I am yours, as you are mine
and I trust God that He'll bring us together in His beautiful time
For now, I'll be waiting patiently for that day when we'll be together
that precious moment in time when I'll say, "it's you that I want to be with forever"
God made everything beautiful, precious and new
just as beautiful and precious as the day will be, when I look into your eyes and say, "I Love You"

Time is a great healer

They say that time's a great healer 
But I don't think that's true. 
My hearts been aching so so much 
Since the day that I lost you. 
I had to say goodbye 
before I could say hello 
I wish I could of told you 
How much I loved you so. 
You mean more to me than anything 
Even though we never met 
Mummy loves her precious babies 
& I promise that I won't forget. 
You're my 3 shining stars 
& in my heart is where you'll stay 
But don't be too sad little ones 
Because mummy knows we'll meet someday. 
In memory of my triplets

☸ڿڰۣ——☸ڿڰۣ——☸ڿڰۣ——☸ڿڰۣ——☸ڿڰۣ——☸ڿڰۣ——☸

LOST

You pass me on the street and out eyes briefly meet.

You hold the door open for me as I enter behind you.
I say thanks, but you have no idea that my mind is blank.
In the elevator you crack a joke, I flash a smile, 
you have no idea that my heart is in denial. 
You ask me how my day was and I say fine. 
You have no idea that my brain and I are arguing to if I should cross the line.
My happiness is gone as I walk in this world. 
The thoughts in my head have me wishing I was laying in a cold dark hole.
Once you lose your soul there is no turning back. 
Everything you once dreamed of no longer has an impact.
You don't want to love nor do you want to have fun. 
Your days are so long the problems in your mind make you question if you should carry on. 
You smile so that's what people see on your face, 
they think that you are happy but deep down inside you feel like a worthless disgrace. 
Each day the performance you put on for people is Emmy award winning, 
But you question yourself and wonder if you act is just a way for you to hold off your own internal sinnings.
When you wake up from a night's sleep you wonder to yourself if today is the day your heart will be back to it's old self or will it still be skipping every other beat. 
You wonder if things that once made you happy to be alive will make a comeback. 
You wonder if the little things in life that made you who you are will have you once again dreaming to the stars. 
You wonder if you will feel less empty hearted. 
You wonder to yourself who holds the match to start that fire. 
You're tired of running and losing your breath. 
You want to hold tight to something that will help you once again enjoy the journey into lives amazing treks. 
You want to feel that every day can be better than the last. 
You want to turn your lost soul feeling into a thing of your past.....

She

She got up this morning,
sun shining through the blind,
she took a look in the mirror,
and something crossed her mind.
You weren't there to see her wake,
she didn't see your smile,
for when she does she feels like,
her days are all worthwhile.
She went into work today,
kids running through the halls,
she looked at plans for tomorrow,
and is sad when nobody calls.
She got in her car to go home today,
on the radio she heard a song,
it reminded her of you,
and how hurtful it is you're gone.
She went out with a friend tonight,
smiled and wore a brave face,
for all she really wants in life,
is to have you in this place.
She gets a daunting feeling,
one which won't disappear,
what's the point in all of this?
what's the point when you're not here?
She went to sleep that night,
tried to prepare for the days ahead,
if she looks real careful,
you're there on your side of the bed.
Stroke her hair and tell her,
that no matter what life throws,
you have a love like no other,
in death it continues to grow.
She got up this morning,
sun shining through the blind,
she took a look in the mirror,
and something crossed her mind.
You WERE there to see her wake,
and she could see your smile,
and when she did she realized,
you're only absent for a while.
She closes her eyes and in the dark,
she knows she'll see you again,
the only thing that troubles her,
is not being able to say when?
For now she must be patient,
and one day her time will come,
and you'll be there to take her hand,
and safely guide her home.

Fragments Of The Real You

The mask you hide behind is bright

Your falseness glitters in the light
You played every card in your life wrong
Today's not a game, not a quest to belong
You say you can't trust anyone
Then why do you betray and run
You're a star that hides behind a cloud
You can't hear me through thunder so loud
You and I
Your carelessness just makes me cry
Show me who you really are
Drop your glitter and show me the star
You're not fat or ugly or dumb
You're slim and pretty and unlike some
I'd like to see more of you.
I'd like to see more than fragments of you.