She's My Inspiration

What is a inspiration you may ask ?
Well there's one name for my inspiration “ Lana” 
A lady who always has her head held high even when it tries to be down. 
A lady that loves you unconditionally through the tough and the good times. 
A lady that has that comforting shoulder to cry on when times just get to rough to handle. 
My inspiration, 
Looks out for me and guides me down the right path when I get off road, 
She's one awesome lady Not only is she my Lana but my Best Friend.
Someone to count on when no one else is around and no one else will do.
Thanks for always being there Lana.

Tell Me !!!!

Tell me, how to love someone
who doesn't love me back.
Tell me, how to respect someone 
who doesn't deserve my respect.
Tell me, how to trust someone 
who betrayed me so badly.
Tell me, how to care for someone 
who never cared about me.
Tell me, how to speak nicely to someone
who only spoke down to me with bad words.
Tell me, how to get along with someone
who brought me nothing but endless tears.
Tell me, how to get close to someone 
who caused me so much pain.
Tell me, how to forgive someone
who hurt me so severely.
Tell me, how to open my heart to someone 
who broke it to pieces too many times.

Do You Ever Stop And Think?

Do you ever stop and think? 
Just reflect on everything that's happened to you in the last few days. Months. Years.Do you wonder where all that time went? 
All those special moments or just the ordinary daily activities that are now only memories. Memories that are unique and the only way you can hold onto them is by replaying them in your mind over and over again, until the details all merge together and you're left with a fuzzy recollection that doesn't seem to fit anymore.
Do you remember the exact time when you started to grow up? When the conversations you had were not about dolls or imaginary friends but about sex, boys and 'How far have you gone'? When you started giggling not because you're covered in mud, but because you remembered the time that a girl or a boy kissed you?
Have you ever turned around and suddenly everyone was 3 feet taller, with bigger parts and more curves and you had no idea where it all came from? 
Have you ever felt that the closest people to you are also the furthest away? Felt that everything was happening too fast? And even though you didn't want to grow up, you didn't want to be left behind either?

And when her hand is no longer a girl's but a woman's, when her touch does not convey safety but lust and when your body betrays you and wants it too, is this when we have grown up? Or is it when we are forced to grow up?

And who tells us when we have grown up? How do we know when we have reached our destination? Do we ever stop growing up or do we continue to just grow in spirit?

And if I can see everyone else making choices, trying new things, growing up, is it selfish for me to want it to stay the same forever?
And if I make my own choices, try different things, slowly growing up, will others notice that I'm changing too? Do they wish that nothing would change just like I do?

And if I'm just scared of losing the people that are close to me, scared of being left behind or leaving others behind, is it okay for me to stand off in the distance just watching these people live their lives, remembering how they are and how they make me feel?
But if I hold onto them too tightly how am I to move on? How am I to grow up and LIVE MY LIFE? How am I to make decisions and take on responsibility if I'm living in the past?

I guess time continues whether you want it to or not, leaving you behind or taking you for the journey of your life.

children suffer

Why must children suffer, for the wrong we do?
Why must children pay the price for the ugly hate we spew?
Why must children have to cope with hunger and with war?
Why must children feel the wrath at Mother Natures core?
Why can't children just be free and learn the way of love?
Why can't children have no cares and love their God above?
Why should children have to worry about their future's air?
Why must they endure these things because we were aware?!
Why is the question we must ask to truly make things right.
Why is the question we must answer so we can sleep at night.
Why can't we now take the stand and help our children win?
THIS is why I take this stand and hope you all join in!

Your Hand

I haven't forgotten; That I am just one person,
That I am but one voice; Attempting to stand out From the crowd.
I remember, That I have fallen, A midst the laughter
That surrounds me, and that sometimes, It gets too loud.
I know, That I can't sit here, And expect my silence To evoke change Without reason.
I can see, That I don't know everything, That I can't expect
My hand to be held Always.
I can feel That time is slipping, By me, that it Will be gone if I just Stand still.
I have heard, That there are a million, Other voices that sound
Like mine, that want also To be heard.

I've been told, That it's not enough to, Wish for dreams, that I
Have to work them, Into reality.
I know that I don't know, All that I think I know. I know I won't see all of The places I wish to go. 
I know I'm not ready For all that the world demands,
You don't have to always hold me, Just let me see your hands.

I know; That there's a lot, That I won't understand, That you don't have all Of the answers.
I haven't forgotten, That I have to grow up And someday live without Your voice, your opinion Making my own decisions.
I know that I don't know All that I think I know.
I know that I may not see all Of the places I want to someday go. 
I know I'm not ready for everything That I won't always understand You don't have to always hold me
But sometimes. . .Just let me touch your
Hand.

Butterfly

Wish I was a butterfly
With colorful wings soaring up high
Gracefully singing into the air
With such silent notes, songs never heard
No one could guess where I will lead
No one could notice the heart that weeps
For such soundless voice only tears will show
Fading as I may... they will never ever know

Piece of my heart

Let me say the words today
to have her here by my side.
Let her be the one for me to
have and hold for all time.
Now she's here for me to share my love, to hold and show me I'm the one.
She makes me smile, she makes me laugh, my life with her is something I feel I've won.
I feel I'm mean but my heart I blame,
for it's been soiled with so much pain.
But now I'm ready to let this someone in,
the one who brightens my day,
The one I speak of is her!
She turns her shoulder, I think its too late,
No! Please don't speak those words of my fate!
Tears fall but words I have none.
What's said is said, what's done is done.
She says her goodbyes and then she parts...
But with her, if she only knew, goes the last piece of my heart.

i lost you

You took my fears away,

And made them true,

You took my love away,

And ripped my heart out too,

You took my laughter away,

And my happiness too,

And let all my sadness,

And tears get through,

The rest of me that was left,

Also left with you,

I lost my self ,

When I lost you.

Being Sorry

Being sorry can be very hard when we're overwhelmed with pride,
But sometimes our pride must take a fall before we lose out,
And when we have to say sorry we should mean it from our soul, A meaningless sorry is like a broken promise to the heart.
And it only hurts more in the end, bringing bitter resentment,And leading to the loss of a love that should be eternal, Bringing us back down to earth from the fairytale world of our mind, With a pain that is maddening, physical and sometimes critical.

My heart is weeping tears of blood for the pain that I've caused you, And it's crying out my apologies to your mind,
Pleading for your forgiveness for my unfortunate outbursts,
I never meant, in a million years, to be so unkind.
I have made mistakes in the past but never as serious as this,
And I know I will only have myself to blame if you leave,
And that scares me more than I've ever been scared in my life,
For you're my true motivation, the only real thing in which I believe.

Everything else is just a fantasy to my egotistical ideals,
It's always been me, me, me for far too long,
And lately I haven't given even a passing thought to your concerns,
I let them all fly past me, but now I know I was wrong.
You were reaching out to me in your time of uncertainty and sorrow, While all I cared about was me and what was mine,
And as I watch you pack your bags with tears streaming down my cheeks, Too late, I feel all your angst and pain.

And all that's left for me to do is say sorry in a sincere way,
With an apology that comes from deep inside my soul,
It's all I have left to offer for your love and your loyalty,
It's just a pity that my own loyalty, I couldn't hold.
Now all I have left of you are the memories of the goodness I have lost, And that loss brings a sadness every time I think of your name, And my heart yearns to be able to turn back the hands of time, To correct the mistakes I've made and start again.

So please take time to think about what I've said, as it comes from the heart, Take time and try to forgive me my failure to deliver,
And if you can't, then cast me out of your life never to return,
And I will hang my head in shame....... forever.

Under the Tree

You left me alone, I didn’t cry,
I didn’t call you didn’t try.
Out of all the things I chose you,
I said I love you I really do.
But now that you are with him,
I don’t know why I really care.
I tried to get over you,
But I realized that my love is true.
I did all I could to forget,
But I couldn’t do it you bet.
I waited for you on cold nights,
And watched over you from great heights.
Now that you have forgotten me,
I always stand under the tree.
Waiting for you to hold me tight,
And then I see you with him at night.
Finally you start coming to the tree,
just to say, ..!!!
you never loved me.!!!!

do you still ... care?

My thoughts of you are in my soul
my heart aches for your love
my heart would skip a beat
just for a minute with you
I love you
always and forever
the days without you are cold
sad and dark
with you out of my life
life can’t get any worse
we were meant to be
but maybe it was only me
today life is a blur
a day of sorrow
I’m missing you 
Don’t you understand 
without you
is not where I want to be
don’t you see I’m here
can’t you just be here?
Don’t you care anymore?
without you life really isn’t there
do you still care?
or have you fallen
because I am tired of bawling
do you still ... care?

friendship Never dies

I feel I've lost a thousand years,
just living day by day,
I'm hidden behind the pain and tears,
my sorrow guides the way,
I cannot see where I have gone,
nor where my life shall go,
but leaving you my life long friend is the only way I know,
it will be painful, I will be weak,
but true friendship never dies, 
so call upon the greatest power,
when you feel you can't survive,
She will hear you saddest hours,
and keep our memories alive,
for in the eternal love of god,
True friendship Never dies.

I follow my dreams

I get laughed at, 
I get ignored,
I often feel trapped,
and keep my thoughts stored.
People can be cruel and very mean,
but no matter what, 
I follow my dreams
Life has waves,
I know that.
But I stand brave,
and just take the crap.
I may feel exhausted and totally creamed,
but no matter what,
I follow my dreams.
I know what I want,
and I won't stop trying.
Quitting? I can't,
for now I'm flying.
It's impossible, it seems,
but no matter what,
I follow my dreams..