do you still ... care?

My thoughts of you are in my soul
my heart aches for your love
my heart would skip a beat
just for a minute with you
I love you
always and forever
the days without you are cold
sad and dark
with you out of my life
life can’t get any worse
we were meant to be
but maybe it was only me
today life is a blur
a day of sorrow
I’m missing you 
Don’t you understand 
without you
is not where I want to be
don’t you see I’m here
can’t you just be here?
Don’t you care anymore?
without you life really isn’t there
do you still care?
or have you fallen
because I am tired of bawling
do you still ... care?

friendship Never dies

I feel I've lost a thousand years,
just living day by day,
I'm hidden behind the pain and tears,
my sorrow guides the way,
I cannot see where I have gone,
nor where my life shall go,
but leaving you my life long friend is the only way I know,
it will be painful, I will be weak,
but true friendship never dies, 
so call upon the greatest power,
when you feel you can't survive,
She will hear you saddest hours,
and keep our memories alive,
for in the eternal love of god,
True friendship Never dies.

I follow my dreams

I get laughed at, 
I get ignored,
I often feel trapped,
and keep my thoughts stored.
People can be cruel and very mean,
but no matter what, 
I follow my dreams
Life has waves,
I know that.
But I stand brave,
and just take the crap.
I may feel exhausted and totally creamed,
but no matter what,
I follow my dreams.
I know what I want,
and I won't stop trying.
Quitting? I can't,
for now I'm flying.
It's impossible, it seems,
but no matter what,
I follow my dreams..

A thing for Joy..

I know we never had our first date
things were difficult but we still stayed up late
talking about what we wanted to be
I wanted you, I thought you wanted me
I loved the way ... you styled the hair in your facethe way your lips got its shape
Friends come and go, sometimes they stay
Enemies have hurt us, is it a price we pay
Do they ache, like we do
are you grieving, like I do for you
I hoped, 
I wished
I loved, 
I missed
you held, 
you cared
you hugged 
you kissed
I hate the way you moved on, but only because I want the same
but that's so hard to do now, When I have no one to blame.

Scared

I'm scared of not missing you anymore, I'm scared to live that day.
I'm scared my mind will erase the memory of the day you went away.
I put a lot of trust in you, you said that you were different.
Your intellect was beyond the hood, but I guess not far enough to miss it.
I guess I should've told you that I'm really sensitive, though I try to act like I don't mind, that night I still relive.
I'm ashamed because I know I love you way more than you like me, 
and that I cry for you when you're not here so much that I can't see.
This headache just won't go away its been here since you left.
Though loud yet meek, though screaming yet bleak, this loss truly feels like death.
I pray you don't feel these words are a stretch because we've shared limited time, 
or that I'm completely insane for tatting your name, assuring I've lost my mind.
Well the truth is that you are not for me, and I've known it since we met.
Yeah we fought, loved, broken up, but there's something you just have to get.
I don't want anyone else, I don't want another woman.
I'll build you up and give you my heart to cradle in your hand.
I admit I am attached, and dangerously its true.
That I want to offer my body and soul as a sacrifice to you.
I pray you never leave my side though physical I can take, 
but mentally please stay awhile and never leave this place.
That waiting is indeed the hardest game and I've just succumbed to defeat.
Though unspoken yet chanted, and rough yet romantic, this love was written in the stars.
I don't know what you feel inside, or if this load you can carry.
If once you're out you'll go buck wild or settle down and marry.
I feel we'll be getting to know each other more so here than before, 
so open and let me in because it's you that I adore.
The fate of this relationship is exclusively up to you, ill be holding down my end until my biggest dream comes true

Why it has to be you?

Sitting alone and silently

I recall a special part of my life

That part came unexpectedly

And lasted only for a while.

My life has been quite and peaceful

Until that unforgettable moment

You came like a silhouette of my soul

Then you walked right through my heart.

Everyday was a picture of happiness

There's no hint of loneliness

Everything was wonderful

Because I spent it with you.

But then, as time goes by

Feelings begin to fade away

Tears fall down one by one everyday

And it kills me to say goodbye.

Every time my mind says move on

my heart says hold on

So many questions inside my head

But the answers are all up to you.

Loving someone like you

Without boundaries

Makes me think deeply again,

Why, Why it has to be you?

Losing you .. no more

used to listen, when you said you would always be there.
I sit and think about all the times we had together, and how I thought I used to love you, when you used to care.
I'd last through any weather. but when the our storm came you left at the first sight of rain, leaving me here
to deal with all this pain.
I sat there crying thinking what did I do wrong, I looked to my kids whom said (daddy stay strong).
so I wiped my tears and begin a new, new me, new life, and happiness without you.
someday you'll miss me, but it will be to late for us to be.
you didn't know what you were missing but now you do, calling me crying saying daddy I love you.
I love you too that's why I'm letting you go, I'm a hell of a good man it's too bad it took you this long to know.
what we had is in the past, it's a reason we didn't last.
but whenever you get discouraged about why we're through, just look in the mirror
because it's all on you...
I hope next time you learn from your mistakes, and when that man needs you do what ever it takes.
always remember this I love you but I love me more, I had to learn that when you walked out the door.

Echo In The Wind

We were once the youngest of toddlers
Playing recklessly without concern 
But how the tides have changed
What I had is now what I yearn
We were the best of friends
I loved her to no end
But as the days passed by 
It was getting harder and harder to pretend
The truth was I was in love
With the plaid girl next door
Our friendship was unique
But it grew to be much more
We dated for a few
It was the happiest years of my life
We gave everything to each other
And he even asked for me to be her husband
You see, it was everything I wanted
But she was meant for so much more 
I wanted her all to myself
But she had so much more to explore
She was a special Woman
She stood out from all the rest
She was so selfless at times
And that’s why she was truly the best
This woman had a destiny to fulfill
And I was only standing in her way
She said he would do anything for me
But I couldn’t possibly ask her to stay
The day came when she left my side
It was a cold and gloomy night
I still remember that day so clearly
I held onto her with all my might
It was the last I’ve ever saw of her
The last study of her face
But it doesn’t really matter because the
Memories is not something I can erase
My heart bruises easily
As I sit alone late at night
But I often reassure myself
Because I know that I’ll be alright 
Nothing has really changed
Nothing that I can see
Even though she’s not here right now
I still feel her presence next to me
The story of our love
Is an endless story never to be lost
I don’t know if I will ever see her again
But I always keep my fingers crossed
My heart is slowly adjusting
To continue life without that charmer
But I know that I will not be in this alone because
She will always be my knight in shining armor

Real life

Blood starts dripping’ from the soldier’s wound
Seeps like sewage ‘neath the politician’s room
Deep in the house, white fades to red
And the freedom we’re fighting for seems to be dead
‘Cause we can’t win like he once said
No we can’t triumph over the hate in our enemy’s head
But we’re deep in mud over the bullshit we’ve been fed
While more and more soldiers awake in Heaven’s bed
The wind is blowing like a hurricane
In the frightening desolated lands
Where the wolves are insane
And hawks feast on bloody hands
Bullets flying, children dying, mothers crying
While the beasts are lying and hiding
Behind black curtains that no one’s finding
But God knows the truth, and He’s forevermore sighing
Too many hands washed in widows’ tears
Too many echoed gun shots ringing in ears
Too many hearts frozen numb from fears
Of hope too distant, like skylight chandeliers
Wounded souls soaked in blotched black fate
Disillusioned by dark demons’ fate
Persistent nightmares of woebegone escape:
Screeching fervently under Liberty’s Gate
I grasp the rope fabric with delicate care, 
Neck tickling from its bristly hair
My chapped, dry lips whisper a final prayer
Before a tightening ravish pain permeates the air
A bright radiant flash scorches the cloudless horizon
And ashes drift upward, caressing my bare, dangling feet
Bleak, barren, biting malice below seems blazon
But the dead know not the sentiment of defeat.

Lonely ..

I was a lonely wanderer, searching for a place to belong, you came into my life and gave me love, a place to call home. home is where the heart is, it doesn’t always have four walls. sometimes it can be a park bench, a homeless shelter, no matter where we lay our heads we are together and love counts the most. we had our trials in life, even a few brief spats and separations but you had my heart as no one ever before, we always made up and got back together, loving each other ever the more. now you are gone and I can’t be with you for awhile, my aching heart is killing me, I cannot smile. you became sick and wasted away, why oh why did you have to leave me all alone? I wanted to go with you but I have to wait, wait till my name is called and I hope you come with Jesus to carry me away, this I wait for impatiently each and every day.

Woman Wish

Wish I was a butterfly
With colorful wings soaring up high
Gracefully singing into the air
With such silent notes, songs never heard
No one could guess where I will lead
No one could notice the heart that weeps
For such soundless voice only tears will show
Fading as I may... they will never ever know