Door Of Pain

In my life you're the one thing I fear, And before you die, this you must hear.
Everyday we were out to play, we'd laugh and joke, and together we'd stay.
Even Saturday's we'd go to the mall.
our great rapport was never to fall.
We had our favorite restaurants and we loved to eat, in our famous foot race, I was never to be beat.
We’d get in your truck and drive off to town, I was so happy my face was never to frown.
And as years past bye your pecan trees grew higher, and our relationship bond grew tighter and tighter. 
Something felt wrong and I hoped it wouldn’t happen.
But it did and I face it each day of my life, I got to be strong I’ve got to put down the knife.
What you did was so wrong and disgusting might I say, you'll never understand how I felt that day.
When people walk by and they start to wonder, I feel like the rain in a dark cold thunder.
I'm slowly coming down from this misery I'm in, I'm taking back what you have given because I'm giving in.
I can go to psychiatrists and spill out my thoughts, they can prescribe me pills and say I've been taught.
They can look at me and say "It's ok I Understand"
But they will never feel the fear of a, 'Lover's Hand'. 
You don't look back on what was begun, your losing your self in who you've become.
Now your gone to where you think its safe, where no one knows about the pain that I face.
Its so sad that your neighbors have no clue, all the people around you don't really know you.
Well Congratulations for fooling the world, but shame on you for hurting this man.
Don't worry too much but a day will come, when revenge will be given for the damage you've done. 
For right now I'll sit in the back of your mind, while you remember how I used to be kind.
And later on in your old pathetic life, you'll see me and how badly you ruined mine. 
You soon shall feel what I have felt for years, My head will turn, as your eyes fill with tears. 
Now before you die I hope you comprehend it, The pain you left now that its ended
I hope your new life is better mine
I'm sure your going on like everything's fine
And the day it hits you … what you didn’t see before, Will be that final day that I close that door
No more …!!

Her Special Door

Fallen here within her slipping grasp of time. She lives not for today but yet for then. Bound by the ones in memory of this bloodline. Each day passing becomes longer than the one before. Nothing ever changes here just beyond her special door. Many I have known but none to be as bold. She fights to show that she is not living in the past. Her heart that weeps over them feeds beneath her heart now cold. She weeps since then and it tears at her core. Nothing ever changes here just beyond her special door

Serious and Rules

life is no fun when you play it safe when you always follow the rules you never learn your place. you'll never know what you can do untill your pushed too far so don't be careful or you wont know who you are. Otherwise; let me ask .. have you ever purposely commented a sin will sometimes that's okay it doesn't mean the end!! 

when you feel hollow inside just give your soul to the night to take you away and end your life slow !!

the world is fake and life is just a game do don't be serious no one makes it out alive anyway

Live it!

Life is crazy, and totally unpredictable...
It's going to push you over, kick you while you're down
and hit you when you try to get back up.
Not everything can beat you.
Things are going to change you,  But you get to choose which ones you let change you.
Listen to your heart, Follow your dreams,
And let no one tell you what you're capable of.
Push the limits, Bend the rules, And enjoy every minute of it.
Laugh at everything, Live for as long as you can.
Love all, But trust none.
Believe in yourself, And never lose faith in others
Settle for nothing but only the best, And give 110% in everything you do.
Take risks, Live on the edge, Yet stay safe, And cherish every moment of it.
Life is a gift, Appreciate all the rewards, And jump on every opportunity.
Not everyone's going to love you
But who needs them anyways.
Challenge everything, And fight for what you believe.
Back down to nothing, But give in to the little things in life,
After all, that is what makes you.
Forget the unnecessary, But remember everything, Bring it with you everywhere you go.
Learn something new, And appreciate criticism.
Hate nothing, But dislike what you want.
Never forget where you came from, And always remember where you are going.
Live Life to its fullest, And have a reason for everything, Even if it's totally insane.
Find Your purpose in life, and Live it!

fall

You may see me struggle 

but you won't see me fall. 

Regardless if I'm weak or not I'm going to stand tall. 

Everyone says life is easy 

but truly living it is not.

times get hard, 

people struggle

and constantly get put on the spot. 

I'm going to wear the biggest smile 

even though I want to cry. 

I'm going to fight to live 

even though I'm destined to die. 

and even though it's hard and I may struggle through it all. 

you see me struggle...you will never see me fall.

An Epic Rush

A desire 

Smooth, refreshing, frigid, and friendly 

A brother to small grains

A lover of the sun, the moon, and the never ending rain

Who feels unsteady on his feet, always rushed, and like he doesn't have a place to rest

Who needs to flow, to dance, and to sing his beautiful tranquil song 

Who gives a superhuman relief

Who fears drought, death, and selfishness

Who hopes to be vigorous, potent, and natural

Resident of a vital source, the beauty of a star, and the shimmering appearance of the moon

My Heart Silent sight

All is silent, all is still

No one around to see the thrill;

Small, small light

A shadow moves

The petals move, start to sing

Wind picks up, nature's music starts

Starting at point base, feeling in the heart

Born to feel, always live the same

Never let the soul, ever be tame;

Starting to move, step by step

Slowly at first, but fast at last;

Keeping in tune, to the sound of the heart

Finishes, beautiful spin; tidy dancer starts off again;

A silent applause, for no one to hear

A feeling of gratitude from those who are near;

Still no one around, absolutely no sound

But a smile suddenly creeps while around everything sleeps.

The heart always goes what the eye always shows

Never give up that feeling you hold

Watching the Sky

Have you seen the Sunset and Sunrise

And the Horizon that's a prize

How the colors mix and melt

And look as soft as felt

How they float away into black

As you wish them back

And that feeling that makes you sad

How the tears come and just make you mad

But then you see the stars

That are so small they could fit in jars

Now there's so many

You'd by each one with a penny

How they shine so bright

And don't put up a fight

So you stand watching them twinkle and shine

Then you realize you feel fine

So you sigh

And say goodbye.

Beauty trees

Take a moment to notice

The beauty of the trees.

Sit and take a look

At the dancing leaves.

Note the little child

Laughing, playing with a toy.

Always so full of energy;

Humongous amounts of joy.

Don't crush the insects,

Who are 1/1000ths of your weight.

They may creep up your path,

But don't decide their fate.

Life's not about avoiding storms.

Instead, dance in the rain.

The Earth is so beautiful;

Why must we cause it's pain?

Take time off your busy schedule

To glance at the starry night.

Because nature is genius.

So pretty, such a sight!

My Angel in the stars

God saw I was getting tired 

as he put his arms around me

as he whispered come with me 

There is a place for you in heaven 

where there is no suffering and no pain

all you have to do is look up to the sky 

and know that you will see me

As I am an angel in the stars 

what a great place to be 

I am an angel of God and a 

sparkle I shall be 

Know that I'm watching over you 

just look up and see 

I'm looking watching over you 

please don't be sad for me 

I'm your angel in the stars 

where I am happy now 

you will see and one day 

you will be with me

As I Watch You Grow

Do you know how much you mean to me?
As you grow into what you will be.
You came from within, from just beneath my heart
it's there you'll always be though your own life will now start.
You're growing so fast it sends me awhirl, 
With misty eyes I ask, Where's my little girl?
I know sometimes to you I seem harsh and so unfair, 
But one day you will see, I taught you well because I care.
The next few years will so quickly fly, 
With laughter and joy, mixed with a few tears to cry.
As you begin your growth to womanhood, this fact you must know, 
You'll always be my source of pride, no matter where you go.
You must stand up tall and proud, within you feel no fear, 
For all you dreams and goals, sit before you very near.
With god's love in your heart and the world by its tail, 
You'll always be my winner, and victory will prevail.
For you this poem was written, with help from above, 
To tell you in a rhythm of your Father''s heartfelt Love!

Written and dedicated to my precious daughters Jassmina and Habiba

A touch

A touch can be love,

A touch can be pain,

A touch can be resentment,

A touch can be lies,

A touch can be remembered,

A touch can be good,

A touch can be bad,

A touch can be hurt,

A touch can be felt,

EVEN BY YOU!!

Forgotten To Society

The world keeps turning, even without me

Nothing has changed, no ripple in the water

In between is where I lie, untouchable to all

Death seeking me, but not quite there

My say means nothing, you can't even hear it

Lost in confusion and noise

I fight my war against the living

How cruel and evil they may be

Am I truly the walking dead or
is the living really just dead?

Egg Shells And Relationships

Feeling warm, but feeling cold 
Feeling awkward, feeling old
Never knowing what to do
Never knowing what to say
The egg shells Just Breaking Away
Not knowing how things are
Biting your tongue so much it leaves a scar
Feeling intimidated
At times feeling Hated
Feeling Frustrated
Feeling Degraded
When all you can do is let the egg shells break away
And hope they eventually Evaporate
But Right now all I can do is hope 
Is wait 
That the egg shells will and hopefully
Disintegrate
But right now you and him are there
Wondering why you’re feeling down
Not knowing what is around
Getting upset over nothing
But being quiet so there is no suspicion
But feeling it is indeed your occupation
To feel paranoid and worried
Feeling like a coward feeling hurried
Never knowing what to do
Never not once knowing what to say
All you can do is hope is wait that the egg shells will eventually
Evaporate
And Disintegrate

Life; as you know ..!!

How do you get by, when there's nobody there for you?

How do you manage to live, when nobody cares?

You thought you had a friend, and then they disappear.

You thought you had a good life, and then its torn away.

All day long you sit alone, wishing for someone to hold you.

There's nobody to love, nobody to like, nobody to care for.

Life as you know it is no longer so.

You are gone

you and me together

and I knew it wouldn't last forever

but now you're gone and I'm still here 

waiting for someone else to reappear

my life is so sad as you can see 

but only because I let it be

I never knew that you being gone would hurt so bad 

that my life just turned out so wrong

with all this anger just got me mad 

that there is no way and no how that it could be more sad

I never knew that it could be so bad 

I just hope you'll see that he will never be exactly like me.

Past the time

Past the time 

Sit and strain

Waiting for your return

Ignoring the pain

Open wounds 

Never to heal

I’m trying to explain

Just how I feel

But it's hard you know?

Living this life

Knowing your happy 

While I'm in strife

I give it my all 

To this very day

You ask me my feelings

What do I say?

I love you forever

It will never end

If you heart breaks, I’ll fix it 

For its still mine to mend

But I'm just waiting

Waiting on time

Until you return

And once again become mine

i never forgot you

I want to know how do you do, i want to forget my soul between your hand and keep running with you until i forgot my place.
i hope to grow up with you ... i want to live two life with you
i hope to forget my hold inside your hold .. i wish to breath the same air you breath
i never forgot you .. and i couldn't thought that i can live my life without you 
day and night i found myself thinking in you .. and it's out of my hand 
Tell me .. what is my life means .. if i didn't beside you !!
if i didn't live with you .. why i need to live !!
how fare you will be, i see you with my heart
how absent you will be, i'll feel with you
how far i'll be from you .. distance will make me closed more

i never forgot you .. and i couldn't thought that i can live my life without you 
day and night i found myself thinking in you .. and it's out of my hand 

You

If you where a blade of grass 

I would explore the earth for you.

If you where a tree 

I would seek out every leaf until I found you.

If you where a flame 

I would fly to the sun for you.

If you where a drop of water 

I would scour the sea for you.

But if you where a star 

I would never search for I would always see you, 

because you are the brightest star to me

i'm Sure that; my words not so good

but it's for you

Hidden feeling

Hiding the feelings that grow ever so stronger 

the time that we are apart feels even longer 

the clock ticks and the cold breeze flows 

as for me I know where my heart glows 

covering the smile you cause me to make 

it is this nervousness that I must break 

these hidden feelings I must hide no more 

as I walk up the path that leads to your door 

ringing the bell hearing the chime 

I'm not going to let you go this time 

building the courage admitting how I feel 

is this a dream or is this actually real 

my heart is pounding beating out of my chest 

because you my love is life's big test

Be Patient i didn't forgot you .... Yet

I sit and wait for a text or a call

The sound of your voice 

rush down my mind like a waterfall 

On my spare time I think of what to say or 

What voice I'm gonna put on 

Goodness...

Can't wait Can't wait 

SO inpatient

So excited but still nervous and scared 

What if I say something stupid?

That will be my best fear

Can't wait Can't wait 

SO inpatient

I think about the first time we met

It goes on and on then rewind than back to reset

I turn over and get your text

He replies to me 

Be patient I didn't forget you yet

What i Want .

All I want is to see you

There's something I want you to do

I want you to listen and now this is true

I think I love you

You make me feel like I'm flying on a cloud

And I want to scream out loud

I think I love you

There's nothing more I want to do

You make me want to lay in the grass

Just lay there while the time continues to pass

Lay there with the sun on my face

And know I'm in my place

When I hear your voice I close my eyes and smile

Cause I know that you’ll be with me for a while

I turn and look at you

And I know that you see me like I see you

There's something in the way you look at me

You see something that I can not see

I want to lay with your arms around me

Oh why can you be here with me

In class I want hold your hand

And know you won’t run before you can stand

Oh boy look at what you do to me

Why isn’t what I feel something I can see

Through The Mist

Stop me from falling

Into the same sickening slumber

That always comes

After the sun slips away

The nightmares of the past

Come back to haunt me

And wont let me rest

Till my soul is dry and bare

It burns me to my core

And my heart is left in shards

When will I come out of

The cloud of fear that hovers round me

My mind is growing numb

To the whole world I'm in

And all my senses drowned

By memories of what scares me most

trying to see your face

through the Mist

Not Alone

When you're feeling down and blue, 

And life is being cruel to you, 

Just remember you're not on your own, 

I'm always there you're never alone, 

You might not be able to see my face, 

As hard as you look around the place, 

But close your eye's and think of me, 

And before you know it there will be me, 

Keep me in the midst of your mind, 

And life will seem easier I think you'll find, 

So when life gets to dark to bare, 

Just close your eye's and I will be there.

Loves Never Forgotten

The true meaning of love do you truly know,

The love in my eyes does it still show 

I saw you, then wanted and finally had you

All so fast too good to be true

Everyday is the day to god that I pray that love is never forgotten

I ask myself, then ask once more,

Will it heal, or forever be sore

You opened my eyes to a lot of new things,

You took me high and gave me wings

Our love for each other never ends,

Maybe not lovers, but always friends

We argue, we fight and disagree,

But all it does is hurt you and me

No matter what you say or what you do,

Forever and always I''ll truely love you