Hard to breath

Hard to breath  ..  Weird to touch
Acting normal  ..  Think too much
Trying hard  ..  To figure out
Moving onward  ..  Engulfed in doubt
Don't look back  ..  Too much pain
And in fact  ..  Nothing to gain
Filled with knots  ..  Wasted time
A penny for my thoughts  ..  I deserved a dime
Who's to say what's true  ..  I never said I was right
Guess I never knew   ..  It's not worth the fight
Thinking about before  ..  Don't know who I was
Could have closed the door  ..  And never been an "  us"
Said you would stay  ..  Promised you could
Chose to walk away  ..  I knew you would
Everything was fine  ..  you Said "Save a copy to mine"
Knew it was a line  ..  But gave you my heart
I'll take the blame  ..  I've always known
I played your game  ..  You lost alone
I know you know  ..  There's more to give
You are a stepping stone  ..  But I have a life to live
Hard to love, 
Weird to trust,
Acting typical,
Think it was lust

Oh God why You gave me life!

Oh God why You gave me life! 
For I have no reason to live
And no reason to smile
Happiness no where
And Loneliness far miles
Oh God! 
I love Death as I hate Life! ! ! 
No sunshine in my life
And darkness cursing me
Loitering around like dried leaves
Useless though free
If I am to be burried in the grave one day! 
In this world You brought me why? 
I love Death as I hate Life! ! ! 
Everyone hating me
Ignoring me like a scrap
But when You gave me a gift
In the golden WORLD wrapped
The world of happiness
The world of Light
The world which I never wanted to come to an End
Thank You Oh God! 
For giving me a priceless gift called freind
And only for this reason
I Love Death As I Love LIFE

Never End

When your lips touch on my lips, then I wake up
When your hair fall on my face, then I feel tickle
When your head on my chest, then I find peace
When your arms around me, then I promise my love
When your love fall on me then I take care of you
When your eyes close then I make you happy
When you carry my heart then I feel I am yours
When I carry your soul then I feel you are mine
When I write a poem then I think you are a poem
When you read my poem, then I feel your warm
When the world around me then I see no where
When you are around me then I am somewhere
When you are close to me then our love is melt
When you are far away then our love turns tears
Love gives me the best when I love you
and its a beautiful gift that never ends

Long wait .. not for you

It is long wait o, rain
We long for you with pain
Godowns are empty without grain 
This is our concern main
Lots of hope and despair
Air is thick but very clear
Down pour with tremendous force
Set it right with definite course
We are starved to death with hunger
We can’t express it in anger
You know our pitiful plight 
Set the course with lovely delight
Every dropp may bring immense pleasure
We are confident you will make it sure
We fold our hands in your praise
All our eyes are unable to rise
The earth is torn apart
It is end of the start
We may vanish so soon
The sun is blazing in after noon
Shower the land with your powerful arm
Let there be greenery in our farms
We shall survive with your noble gesture
Else there may not be place for our future

UNGRATEFUL. WOMAN

ONE DAY I THOUGHT OF LEAVING
IT WAS A MOMENT.. I CLOSED MY EYES,
MY SELF WAS TORN TO PIECES,
APART OF ME WAS TAKEN AWAY..
THAT MOMENT I SAW A CRYING ORPHAN
BEGGING ME TO STAY.
I FOUND MY SELF SURROUNDED BY ALL OF YOU,
YOUR TEARS FILLED MY EYES.
AND IN MY TURN STARTED TO CRY,
HOW I FORGOT THAT MY PLACE AS HIGH THERE IN THE SKY
HE WHISPERED TO ME YOU ARE THE GIVER
AND YOU WILL NEVER BE A MISER,
IN YOUR EYES I SAW MY TOUCH HEALLONElYING YOU,
WATCHFUL EYES GUARDING YOU,
WHEN THE SKY WILL BE MEAN..
I'M THE RAIN IN YOUR DESERT,
THE SHINY SUN IN A STORMY WAY,
I'M THE COVER IN THE LONELY NIGHTS,
I'M THE BREEZE IN A SUMMER DAY
WE AS IT MAY SEEM FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE TO SOLDIERS IN THE WAR
WE ARE THE GUIDE FOR THE LOST IN UN KNOWN LAND,
WE MAINTAIN OUR MOTTO PLEDGE TO PROVIDE THE NEEDY
WITH OUR CARE TO REGARDLESS TO RELIGION..ETHNICITY..COLOR AND RACE..
DEEPLY ROOTED IN THE LAND
NO ONE SHAKES US,
ABLE ALWAYS TO STAND
IN THE FACE OF A STORMY SAND
WE ARE THE PAIN RELIEVER
HAPPINESS BUILDERS
SECRETS KEEPERS
WHEN EVERY BODY LEAVES.
YOU FIND ME THERE
READY TO GIVE..
READY TO CARE
I ERADICATE SCARY NIGHTS WITH NIGHT MARE
LIKE THE DOVES WILL CARRY YOU BACK TO HOME
AFTER THAT HECTIC DAY.....
I BECOME MORE CONSISTENT TO STAY
INSPITE OF DIFFICULTIES..
CROOKED WAY..
I WILL BE YOUR FATHER... MOTHER
I WILL NOT BOTHER... HOW MUCH THE COST
HOW MUCH I PAY
AND WHEN MY TEARS BECAME DEAR TO MY EYES
YOUR PRAYING CONVINCED ME MORE..AND MORE
JUST......TO......STAY
THE BLURRED PICTURES STARTED TO BE MORE CLEAR..

THE MORE I'LL GIVE, THE MORE YOU WILL BE UNGRATEFUL. 

My Last Message

It was a message 
touchingly saying 
the life is but a passage.
In her eyes was a sorrow, 
asking for only one?  continued search for any clue, 
a crying soul begging to know and heart to rule
On the edge of 
that mountain where he sat..watching the sun, 
watching the rise till the set, , recalling past, 
living the now, loving then, trying to keep little of it.., 
the same she does..with no regret......
On that mountain where is the days are very few, 
trying to grasp little of life and love true while 
the days continue to flit, 
but who is she? ! she is apiece of the large universe having 
so much of his grit., 
trying to be in his place, watching with him how the sun plays, 
and it's beauty stealing the days.., 
to her he said bask with me in the life, in the sun, 
as not every day we will stay and being touched by sunny ray, 
In that place seeing him watching the sky and it's blue..
if this is the case and what is said is very true then hand in hand, 
and face to face the fate they draw, 
if this is the case then every day the love grow 
as what you plant you always get.so why to rue....
It was her tool, it was a feeling
a touching call from his soul... bask with me, let us glow..and there
she sat..watching the sun
and more of you..becoming more and very sure that the seed is very
true..and her worries were never due, 
it was a message 
it was a feeling continued singing only you 

Only God extends

I could not see her smile
it was long ago for a while
it flickered in moon light
A glorious moment to be called right
I love a special day
which brings smile all the way
it may be in the form of ray
thought it may be distantly away
Who can know and take it for real? 
it has to be inwardly and must feel
if not then you are simply called rotten
it is off the scene and totally forgotten
it does not come all of sudden
it is not to be invited even
it emerges from invisible land
Only God extends his invisible hand 

little smile

She will shine
Everything will be fine
Dance together and nice to dine
With small peg of wine
Stroll for a while
To go for an extra mile
It is always a wish
To fight it out but not to finish
Bear little smile
Wait for time at nine
I will be there
To take you anywhere
The clouds don’t thunder
It is unique but no wonder
I think and ponder
What do I find in her? 
Is she a real toy? 
Lovely means and object to enjoy? 
Why do I think so in her terms? 
I do think and definitely learn
She may guide me and take me to end
Lovely flowers always sent
I remain calm and always absent
This state of mind she always resent
Is it sign of real belonging? 
Was I waiting for it or longing? 
Will that day ever come in life? 
Is the life rally on edge of knife? 
Why do stars and moon always shine? 
Is the sky very nice place and look fine? 
Do they convey any message for good? 
Why do they keep me in fine mood? 
I shall hang on for long time
She is the only object prime
I might have wanted her till this day
Let her come and show me the way
She snubs me for slight delay
I am confused and fail to relay
How I wished her happy Sunday? 
For me any other day is very good day
Will she remain mine forever? 
I wish for it ever and ever
She may not go for it however
I shall follow her and miss her never
She is mere symbol of love
I am creature like dove
I can’t leave peaceful water
She must consent and never falter
I shall continue to swim or sink
I shall never deviate or think
I shall not close eyes and wink
I may peacefully watch her but offer no drink
Let heavenly bodies bless our union
In all coming births I shall seek reunion
It is internal wish and earnest desire
Let people curse me or admire
I can scale highest peak
My body may be slight weak
The result may itself speak
I may venture to her domain and secretly sneak
Come o love and embrace 
I shall revolt and face
I may over come and try to face any eventuality
If that serves me fine with my love’s continuity 

limited life

Think same and stand together
Leave it aside and nothing to bother
Together we stand and together we fall
It is simple to achieve object at very first call
It may strengthen the unity
There may remain consistency and continuity
If there is disunity and lack of understanding
We may add to set back for course of abandoning
It gives sense of belonging
The relations grow with bonding
The person can’t run away or remain absconding
The fruits of success may amount to undoing
We should hold hands firmly
We must also share secrets calmly
Laugh and smile not to create rift
Love and peace should find no shift
It is compulsion so we must be united
We have options but very limited
Strong foundation must be allowed
Bitterness if any must be swallowed 

What ..!!

I was weak and feeble to conceal
The feeling was intense and real
I could make it move with deal
It needed final approval and seal
It did not find the light of the day
It lighted but without powerful ray
Light could be seen but unable to find the way
Whom to hear? Whom to confide and to whom to say? 
I felt for her and longed for closeness
She represented beauty and kindness
The moon reflected on her face
She was not at all in any race
What was she doing to world? 
Silver rays with warmth and cold
Everybody wanted to go to her fold
‘Impossible to reach” as I was told
You are with your separate world
You rule there with complete hold
Surrounded by dimply light stars
No one wants to be near but stay very far
I fear for dreaming such unreality
I am sure for not showing any reality
It is still a golden desire
As I stand for it and admire
Can you hold firmly my hand? 
Show it to all as our firm stand? 
It makes me restless for complete night
How to show it to world that my stand is right? 
I am not for shining moon? 
I feel happy when see in the noon
Completely devoid of light and shine
Still it looks divine and fine
I am unable to control my thoughts
So many explorations are thought and sought
It does not come to any conclusion
At any cost I want her inclusion
Will her light burn me? 
Will it make me feel so free? 
This questions hound me for day and night
I have no will power to stay and fight
She has her own world and axis
She can search within and fix
How can she stretch so far and embrace? 
She can’t be mine in any case
It is question of real and unreal
There may not be any upheaval
It is asking for unrealistic dream
It is like arresting the powerful beam
To love is not an unreal thing
As it has borne out of something
It was quest for searching the companion
It may end up with nice union
You may stay where ever you are
Though you may be away and very far
What love has to do with any distance? 
When any one can have or draw the inference 

When ..!

When Golden Ages just fly.. Fly.. fly.. high away...
And Saturn just passes by.. By.. by.. into the sky-to stay;
When generations of citizens celebrate.. And dance near mid.. air
When day-dreamers of an era 
Are oh.. .. So, devil may care;
When the Golden Goose layed her egg...
And time as we know it flew...
Back in the day of the Argonauts...
The day i found myself in you;
When in that day so surreal...
I consented to my hand...
Giving it over in a union
That today-i still do not understand;
For i am still looking for the 'Dawning of Aquarius'
A time of love and sweet peace...
Where its reality-sinks criminality...
And Cabals of Greed simply cease;

Tell me ..!!

Life is very easy

Life is very easy 
Only you remain busy
Don't take it to heart
You stay alive and smart
Not all the days may remain same
You will earn good name and fame
You just take it as bad phase
It will help bad memory to erase
Do take all possible care
Go and see every where
Don't challenge the people to dare
It is not good or fare
Life is full of surprises
It may remain still your demises
What does it comprise? 
It has got no prizes
You may feel bad
Some times very sad
You got to live and lead
This message you must read
There may not be any takers
You will be met by fraudsters and fakers
Still you got to know it better
It is full fledged subject matter
They may be very nice and look at you
You should realize and think it true
It may be kind gesture and not be cruel joke
I should think bad and deliver the stroke
There is nothing more to complain
It may prove unproductive and go into vain
You should stick to your point and prove
Try to assert and simply move
You may change the way
Still you got to pay
Hard effort may show you bright ray
You may rally have definite say
You tried to be accommodative
It was very positive and indicative
Not all may be your kith and kin
You should make place and win
There came hard summer
I wanted to say something and murmur
I had bade just now the winter
It was severe and very bitter
I may be a changed lot
I have unnecessarily fought
I always longed for good support
I had eagerly waited for it and sought
I need not waste my energy and wait
This is not something like bad luck or fate
Everything takes its own time and not very late
Love it heartily and don’t show displeasure or hate 

What love is .. Again

Feeling their emotions, understanding their pain. 
Life will get brighter, not remain the same. 
Knowing the meaning of trust is a beautiful thing. 
And with that you could make a beautiful cling.
Believing in yourself, and one another, 
to know there feelings toward each other. 
To make them smile, when they are blue. 
To make them happy the best you can do.
Touch their heart, when it needs to be touched. 
Let them know there being loved. 
Never to feel alone, or be afraid. 
Knowing what they have won't slip away.
Never have to doubt the person, any single day, 
but letting them know they're here to stay. 
But most of all always stay true. 
Never have to worry about discovering a clue. 
Let them know they only want to be with you. 
This is from me, only to you.

What Love is ..

It's the kiss.....before the goodnight
It's the bliss......after having a fight
It's the memories...of special day's
It's the tempering.....clouds of grey
It's the incitement of your first date
It's the excitement...that you create
It's the shoes you leave at the door
It's the muse.....you call your amour
It's the sharing...of wine and seeds
It's the caring to honour and please
It's the start of your day's in the sun
It's the hearts of two..that beat as one
It's the diamond perfume on your skin
It's the roses......on Valentine's Day
It's the sunset.......you nestled under
It's the lightning....before the thunder
It's the healing....from all that is grey
It's the reason....to savour each day
It's the action of words..you profess
It's the passion.......and nothing less
It's the only ... You ..in my loneliness
It's the only ... Me .. witting .. without any frightfulness 

Its my life

Life is supposed to be like open page
Any one can visit and read without any rage
You may have disliking for person and hate
It is all coming when he is no more and you are late
We may not know about a person
We may also criticize him without any reason
He may have nothing to do with us at all
Still we term him as liar and call
You can’t please each and every one
It is not possible to neglect everyone
You will have to cooperate and mix with them
They may have then no chance for you to frame
They may inflict heavy wounds
It may not please us but looks very sound
You can’t find end as earth is round
This is real truth and must be found
We write our own history
Even though we might have lived in misery
We pay respect even to our adversary
There is no use to follow it unnecessary
Life can be made as transparent as possible
We must realize it and make admissible
Nothing can go against us as it is fact
We must fall in line and don’t react
Life may move on endlessly and not cease
We should live it peacefully and remain at ease
It must be faced bravely with all its implications
There may still be fall out with indication 
We can write on sand soon to be swept away
Nothing will remain as it will give away the way
Sand storm may try to reach the sky
You imagine the consequences and don’t ask why
Sand may shape in form of rising demon
Assume different shapes to omit the venom
It may try to catch but succeed seldom
Such occurrences are rare and random
A person can rise from the grave and question
All his Good work may not have found any mention
It may still be sworn on his good name
Flowers and bouquets to adore the fame
And whatever it is its my life without a shame

Of life I know

Of life I know there's little that I do know
I've learned that one might say the hard way
But spiritually we should not cease to grow
And from the 'Book of life' a lesson every day.
Respect and love of others out of love of self is born
That's how it is and that's how 'twill always be
'If you cannot love yourself you cannot love anyone'
A wise old lady once said that to me.
A self taught person the years had left her gray
Wisdom does not come with a university degree
An unkind word of another I never heard her say
Her insights live on in my memory.
Self loathing is not healthy for the mind
It can lead to crimes against humanity
If you cannot love yourself then love in you is dead
Since love of self gives birth to empathy.
Every day we live from life something we learn
For life 'twould seem is the best teacher of all
We never do stop learning we are told
The babe is learning before he or she does crawl.
So little of life I know I do know
And in that I am not one of a few
From living we learn something every day
Though on saying that I'm not saying anything that's new.

Your hand

Through the noon and the nights get started the kingdom of fights, 
where aches off the wall and grievances in my soul taste all the sights
From the port at which I deserted who I really am, my sanity is covered with a hide, 
Next to my humanity exists what is a melody in disguise; there is a road I can ride, 
but with any attempt, the crying face of the sun falls down on me, making me mild, 
No guides are present here and there around us, absent is the real sense of side
I am here crawling beside, waiting for my secret love begged to be my would-be bride
And the row and sow has shifted me into such a man in pursuit of what nbms means, 
my sparkling secrecy of love chases me to the marvelous hide of heaven and teens
As a man without the knowledge of what is meant by 'first...'; I have got to know, 
Swimming into the road of your eyes, this heart is day by day enhancing to grow
All the tints of masterpieces could only be invaluable over your skin and brow
Let my final destiny lie on your way, on your lip, on your lap and in your mornings
Let all the stars become really bright with the essence of your hand and longings

Tears are swimming in the pool of aches

Tears are swimming in the pool of aches and pains 
Lies fly in the sky with an attempt to contradict reality 
Honours are left in the pot from which I drink anguish 
Hours are in the temptation to lose their originality 
Minutes have embodied into an unknown realm 
Desert my soul as in the very beginning of heart 
Insert the sword of tensions into my very existence 
Make me cry day and night, putting a trace of loneliness 
Make me lose count of the seconds I feel inside your vein 
Kill that insanity, turning me into a rush hour of emptiness 
I have given into the time line that charges me with all the ups and downs 
There is no expectation for me as to the coming and appearance of tomorrow 
I am aware that the things to get born for me are the moments of sorrow 
Terrified of that world and the ignition of that body, Okan bleeds like the murdered man 
Asking who I really am, I bring myself to the kneels and hands of thunderous tan 
The rhymes of any poem have become senseless and pointless as for the fragile turmoil 
Now I am starting to make a preparation for the accumulation of gravestone soil 

Life storm

When storms of life are all around,
It's so wonderful to reach out and touch a hand I've found,
One who gives me sight to see the way,
And leads me to a brighter day,
Although at times it seems very long,
But as I lean on my God, He makes me strong.
He gives me hope to watch and wait,
I know it will come soon or late,
And this storm too will pass
As other storms that did not last. 

Seventy Seven Ways to check your Ego

Ego Shouts, Higher Self Whispers
Ego is Thoughts, Higher Self is Feelings
Ego is the False You, Higher Self is the God in You
Ego is Fear, Higher Self is Love
Ego is always Lacking, Higher Self is Abundance
Ego feels Victimized, Higher Self feels Challenged
Ego feels Deprived; Higher Self feels Joyful
Ego Blocks, Higher Self opens up
Ego Grudges; Higher Self Forgives and Forgets
Ego Devolves; Higher Self Evolves
Ego doesn't admit mistakes; Higher Self admits mistakes
Ego is Impatient; Higher Self is Patient
Ego is Serious and Sarcastic; Higher self is Humorous
Ego is Calculative; Higher Self is Compassionate
Ego hangs to Past; Higher Self lives in Present
Egos is Empty Speech; Higher Self Honors
Ego wants Conflict; Higher Self wants Peace
Ego is Anger; Higher Self is Calmness
Ego Punches; Higher Self Pats
Ego is seeking Death; Higher Self is seeking Birth
Ego is Divorce; Higher Self is Marriage
Ego is always I, Higher Self is We
Ego Argues; Higher Self Admits
Ego wants Chaos; Higher Self wants Peace
Ego Depreciates; Higher Self Appreciates
Ego Hates; Higher Self Loves
Ego is Authoritative; Higher Self is Diplomatic
Ego is Disrespectful; Higher Self is respectful
Ego Talks without Listening; Higher Self Listens and Talks
Ego Blames mistakes; Higher Self Informs mistakes
Ego is Unconsciousness; Higher Self is Consciousness
Ego is Stingy; Higher Self is Generous
Ego is Emotional; Higher Self is Sensible
Ego is Mind; Higher Self is Soul
Ego is Adamant; Higher Self Realizes and Apologizes
Ego is Destructive; Higher Self is Constructive
Ego is Conditional Love; Higher Self is Unconditional Love
Ego is Contraction; Higher Self is Growth
Ego is Negative; Higher Self is Positive
Ego enjoys Sadness; Higher Self seeks Joy
Ego always expects to receive; Higher Self wishes to give
Ego is narrow focus; Higher Self is Broad Look
Ego is Suspicion; Higher Self is Trust
Ego is misunderstanding; Higher Self Understands
Ego Disintegrates; Higher Self Integrates
Ego is Exclusive; Higher Self is Inclusive
Ego Rejects; Higher Self Embraces
Ego Depletes; Higher Self Energizes
Ego looks External; Higher Self looks Internal
Ego is Disappointment; Higher Self is Contentment
Ego sucks character; Higher self improves character
Ego is Hypocrisy; Higher Self is sincerity
Ego is quarrel; Higher Self is reconciliation
Ego is jealousy; Higher Self is broad mind
Ego Frowns; Higher Self Smiles
Ego is False Pride; Higher Self is Humility
Ego seeks Protection; Higher Self gives Protection
Ego is Regressive; Higher Self is Progressive
Ego is Attached Detachment; Higher Self is Detached Attachment
Ego is Sorrow disguised as Happiness; Higher Self is Real Happiness
Ego is Conflict; Higher Self is Harmony
Ego is Darkness; Higher Self is Light
Ego is Selfish; Higher Self is Selfless
Ego is Wicked; Higher Self is Godly
Ego is Damaging; Higher Self is Healing
Ego is Impulsive; Higher Self is Intuitive
Ego is Confinement; Higher Self is Freedom
Ego is Distress; Higher Self is Peace
Ego feels Superior; Higher Self is Humble
Ego is Excessive Desire; Higher Self is Passion
Ego is Self Pride; Higher Self is Self Esteem
Ego is Loftiness; Higher Self is Self Confidence
Ego is Possessiveness: Higher Self is Generous
Ego is Doership; Higher Self is Duty Bound
Ego is Harsh; Higher Self is Sympathetic
Ego is Rebellious; Higher Self is Obedient
Ego is Partial: Higher Self is Total
Ego is a Must!
To the Extent to Identify You
To the Extent to lead your Daily Life
It's Cosmically Foolish to be Egoistic
Choose Higher Self! Choose Life!