Without The Sun

It rained the day that I broke my own heart
Stood crying there...our souls apart
Where for so long we dreamed of living as one
Shared broken hearts that have just begun
I look around at an empty world
That was once filled with you my beautiful one
Heartaches are and will be mine
Our love now gone...strained...out of time
My moments...my mind once filled only with you
Our love that is lost now that was all that I knew
Has left the room...I am alone in the chair
Leaving four lonely walls...for me just to stare
An empty heartache replaces my love
This rainy day...teardrops stream from above
When life took you from me...I told you to go
My ears deaf to the scream of how little I know
Silently I watched you my love walk away
My heart crying and numbed on this cold rainy day
I watch as you get smaller...so painfully distant
My tears lost in the rain...not seen but persistent
I don't dry my eyes for each tear I have earned
The fool in my heart...a heart that's not learned
My love now so far away...that just cannot be you
I can't see that you cry...but I know that you do

Tears in the rain...we each have our sad parts
When pride and distrust drills holes in our hearts
And love spills like raindrops onto my shoe
My head looking downward in sadness for you
I know I have hurt you...I have given you pain
I have stumbled...I have faltered this day in the rain
As you walk away crying though you surely don't hear
My heart cries in the cold...rain covers our tears
Sleep well now my love ...yes I told you to go
Tears stinging my eyes I would like you to know
I will hold on to my scars...treasured often the way
This dull day in the rain watching love dim and fade
All that is left now are sorrowful words
Written down sadly...too soft to be heard
Time to regret the things that we have done
Until our days shine again...on this day without sun.

Why true love and happiness is only ...!!

There comes a time in ones life, where they must step back and look through binoculars.
Focusing deeply on the truth between the harpoons of endless lies.
Analyzing the true friends from the fake masks of those friends who are truly cruel deceitful and uncannily unkind.
It's time to figure out more about where life wants to take you. 
Where you are located on the map of Gods future plans.
It's the moment where situations connect through the segments of miniature puzzle pieces, forming a complete image of the darkness and the light.
Life is a pocket full of surprises, it's time to be cautious, inherit a need to be open to the devastating horrors that lurk.
Society has changed and so must we, it's useless being the beacon of truth in a world composed of written lies.
It's hard being the trustful one in a world where everything is not what it seems, like a world that only strips away and never gives.
Like a world designed and built from the pit of my darkest of dreams 
There is a reason why true love and happiness is only real in the movies,
There is a reason behind happy endings only occurring in fairy tales and children's stories.
Life is not about finding happiness and love, it never really was. It's not about fitting in or finding a meaning.
Life is all about survival,
The ability to take all the disasters you experience and meld them together without falling apart.
It's about not letting words or people getting you down; 
it's about believing in the strength stored within and not letting go of the beliefs inside.
True love doesn't exist so just deal with something close to it. 
Leave the fairy tale love in the movie screens and just be happy with what you feel.
There is no such thing as a light at the end of the tunnel,
It will only be true if you are resilient and struggle.

I know nothing about you

I have seen him barefoot with a stick in his hands,
drawing enigmas on the ground
as the sand listens to his unreachable mind
every single day.
He speaks the language of the half-eaten winged angels.
I can't understand his forgotten words, the imprisoned artist in him.
The poet in me wanders whenever he sits in the park,
showing me a new definition of existence as if
I somehow could be different from him
when I protect my dreams from my mouth and imagination.
But in the corners of my doubts,
poems die of agony and madness.
I know nothing about him
just what the sands allowed me to see
and what I have seen is not enough
to comprehend a human being
under the stillness of the sun.

Life is a test

That day will come
everyone would a run
your life would be done
And you can't wish for stuff to be undone
and there is nothing you can do
because every time you make a move, you lose
So wipe away your tears
There's nothing you can do here
Get up and don't be sad
You should be a glad 
And thank God for what you have
Cause life is a test
And don't think that your Blessed
Nothing would last
Cause that would be past.

In Love

When there's that special person
You just can't get off your mind
If you look in your heart
That person you will find
No matter how much they hurt you
They still mean so much
Because you feel as though you'd die
Without there gentle touch
And when your with them
You feel so free
There is no doubt in your mind
That this is how it's supposed to be
You feel so happy
With them by your side
You step out of the shadows
For there is no more reason to hide
You walk out of the darkness
And into the light
They make your life happy
They make everything right
They take away your confusion
They take away your pain
They show you the bright side
And all there is to gain
Life is worth living
Your smile won't go away
Everything is perfect
In every single way
You know what your feeling
And you look up above
Everything is beautiful
Because your in love

Conclusion

The heat of your love, burns my body whole the night
I love you infinitely! Even though you're far from my sight
The dreams and memories that I have from you, are miracles, 
At the dark nights of loneliness , they become my only light!
I start blaming myself, even though I was right 
Feeling sorry for myself, But with no regret as I have my Loved one hide
I can't describe my feeling when I know you aren't on my side.
I finally have a new conclusion to happiness ..
Live as you want, do whatever you wanna do feel sad or glad but,
Be sure to have your loved one beside you because the greatest happiness
is How to share your life with your other loved one.

Mindful Thinking ..!!

You're not where you think you are. Why do you live in your mind? Come out here, get some air with me.
Live in the present moment. Think about the time. No, not the clock. It's the same time every second.
Look around, think positive. Whether your driving or just walking around, focus on what you see. When was the last time you smelled the flowers?
Humanity's problem is their existence. They have no existence. They spend every moment inside themselves. Does anybody these days actually open their heart?
There is a term I'd like to teach you all,
Mindful Thinking.
What's it mean?
Being present in your mind, not just body.
Wheres your soul gone?
Wheres your heart gone?
Where have you gone?
Where am I?
The time is always now. It's not two fifty two in the afternoon, it'now.
Remember that next time you get lost in your mind. just .. just like i do. Mindful thinking from a thankful mind.

I'm Temporary Closed ..!!

Do not ever say that about me ..

And who will ever need you again, you are a cancer and a disgrace. the sooner you die and go to the hell that vomited you up the better we will all be

I was often happy the most when i was write my blog to my awesome readers ..
Just five days with me, i and mine to charge my inner power.

Men How to..!

If you think i'm that kind of men Then i'm quite sure you are completely wrong

Men are like – Floor Tiles. If you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them for years.
Men are like – Bank Accounts. Without a lot of money, they don’t generate much interest.
Men are like – Blenders. You need one, but you’re not quite sure why.
Men are like – Chocolate Bars. Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
Men are like – Coffee. The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.
Men are like – Commercials. You can’t believe a word they say.
Men are like – Computers. Hard to figure out and never have enough memory.
Men are like – Eskies. Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.
Men are like – Copiers. You need them for reproduction, but that’s about it.
Men are like – Government Bonds. They take so long to mature
Men are like – High Heels. They’re easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.
Men are like – Horoscopes. They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
Men are like – Lava Lamps. Fun to look at, but not all that bright.
Men are like – Mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
Men are like – Parking Spots. The good ones are already taken and the ones that are left are handicapped.
Men are like – Popcorn. They satisfy you, but only for a little while
Men are like – Snow Storms. You never know when they are coming, how many inches you’ll get or how long they will stay.
Men are like – Used Cars. Both are easy to get, cheap and unreliable.
Men are like – ATM’s. Once they withdraw they lose interest.
Men are like – Bananas. The older they get, the less firm they are.
Men are like – Newborn Babies. They’re cute at first, but you get tired of cleaning up their crap.
Men are like – Crystal. Some look really good, but you can still see right through them.
Men are like – Dry Cleaners. Most work fast and leave no ring.
Oh. i'm Sorry, Completely sorry i'm not. 

100% you are one of those women

Women are a special kind
Acting differently in most
Early they want to be mature
Later they want to be immature.
Changing shapes and color
Curls or straight takes hours
Eyelashes has to be prolonged
Eyebrows shaped and cut
Breast extended or opposite
Buttocks reduced or added
Legs shaved and peeled
Nails artificial and curved
Belladonna drops in eyes
Blush on cheeks
Bronze cream on skin
Lips sticks in various colors
Mirrors are used over and over
Not a single pose not done
All dresses inspected
Stockings examined
Shoes on shoes off
Belts and accessories scraped
New chosen
Finally almost there?
Just a little correction
Doesn't take long
Then she ask
Are you ready ?

just listen

Would you just listen and please don't say a word, not ever,
I'd like you to remember that once upon a time, I said forever,
All I ever wanted was to be part of your heart,
and for us to be together, to never be apart.
no one else in the world can even compare,
you're perfect and so is this love that we share.
we have so much more than I ever thought we would,
I love you more than I ever thought I could.
i promise to give you all I have to give,
ill do anything for you as long as I live.
in your eyes I see our present, our future and past,
by the way you look at me I know we will last.
I hope that one day you'll come to realize,
how beautiful you are when seen through my eyes.

Some feelings can retains, Some lovers cant see.

I see you, through all your self induced chains i see you.
You have no reason to doubt or fear life,
you are perfectly imperfect as you are.
If a saint knew they were one, then a saint they would cease to be.
You walk on shards of glass where only petals need to lay.
Seeing only darkness where there is only light, and so will never see that my outstreached arms are there to guide you through.
Not only do you not see my arm, but neither do you see me, my adoration in abundance awaiting patiently for your heart to be opened and love to enter.
There is happiness right here, but your eyes are blinded to it. And so you walk on by as if i am a stranger with no face or no 
soul to be even acknowledged.
Is it so hard to love me ?
Can happiness be so complicated that you would shut off from your feelings? 
And imprison yourself in a cell of morbid numbness and regret?
I am no prince, no king.
But i am a man of flesh and blood, a man as good as any who would love and cherish you until the end of his days.
I know to open yourself to another is painful, but to watch you pass by like an apparition of mist is killing me. 
And this slow torture is endless, you have never seen me and so my pain is everlasting.

Tomorrow is soon

Men serve a need for violence and aggression
To satisfy reptilian brains thirsty for blood
By wreaking havoc with war and oppression
Turn what was once an Eden into toxic mud
Men have forgotten how to feel and pray 
Whilst mothers, wives and children cry
They know not that some day all will pay
And that tomorrow is soon enough to die
Wake up! 
Turn away from evil because it’s not too late
Understand…
Choices made today decide tomorrow’s fate

Morn lights

Plant your feet firmly on Earth Mother
Look up to the Heavens
Behold! 
God's Love Transmutes His Will to Brilliant Light
He casts down Light Beams, so all may bask 
In His Infinite Love, Compassion and Wisdom 
Light coursing down through mans' seven centers 
Human lightning-rods bring His Light to ground 
Light energy penetrating all of Creation 
Today Heals Tomorrow, with Abundant Light

There used to be days,

There used to be days,
When i was a witty and humorous guy, 
that i could make people laugh, 
until they start to cry, 
and i would often create stories
filled with such a humor and joy, 
that everybody would ask me 
how can u do it every time oh man. 
There used to be days....
Often i would tell things in such a way, 
and often i would act in such a way, 
that nobody could resist to laugh, 
however hard they may try, 
and even if it would be late for the day, 
and even if i would be done for the day, 
people used to hold me by hand, 
and they wont let me say good bye.
There used to be days....
While i was cruising really very fast, 
one day something happened that almost broke me apart, 
and in those few hours of storm, 
i lost whatever wit and humor i ever had, 
i thought the things would improve, 
but nothing happened as the days passed by, 
and i the witty and humorous guy became a silent and shy guy.
but there used to be days

Be yourself

You can never raise yourself much, 
by comparing yourself with others, 
today you are trying to outdo someone, tomorrow you will be bothered, by the achievements of some other.
You will be happy and bloat with joy, on the day when you beat the people, about whom you have started to bother, but then you will feel sad and doomed, when you will be outdone by the others. 
just sit and think for a moment, would the world have seen great works, of Einstein, newton and wright brothers, had they spent all their time thinking, how many fish today caught their neighbor.
from where Picasso, Vinci would have produced, such beautiful and great works of art, had their mothers and fathers always, 
kicked their butt and pushed them, to follow and to be like someone other. 
Great scriptures and great men always say, true success always comes to those, who follow their heart with faith and courage, work with patience, passion and diligence, 
while treating and helping everybody as brother.
and moreover at the end of the day, will you still count that as success? 
though living in a grand mansion, but inside of you still burning with, the fire of animosity, hatred and anger.

Burning forever

You cant kill this burning forever beating heart.
Even the face of devastation
hope swells with the power to completely overwhelms. 
Bring me to my knees and I still try please. 
You break me over and over.
my soul is mine to give. 
If I will it, it just might happen. 
You cant kill this burning forever beating heart. 
The love will never die. 
It destine to survive. 
As another tidal wave approaches my thoughts are of you. 
You have become the grease to the cogs that let me move. 
Like a giant here I am. 
Accept my hand if you can. 
you just cant kill this burning forever beating. 
Their is always worse. 
Like an unending curse. 
I stand here ready to serve. 
I know you are so much better then I deserve. 
Out of the dark into the light. 
With a millions sacrifices 
and still I feel 
oh how do I feel its still not enough.
So give me all the punishment you wish. 
Still my path not shall waver. 
For with my dieing breath I will still profess my love. 
You will never ever kill this burning forever beating heart. 

Gone

I've always been in the shadows.
i never felt a need to project myself.
I've always been dissapointed to look into the mirror.
my reflection always fears me.
i never thought i'd start cutting.
and now i am gushing blood.
never been so sad in my life.
it's only a knife.
how could that take my life ?
until i went too far.
and now im gone

Pass a way love.in her birthday memory

Tears well up in my eyes, 
As I kneel frozen as ice, 
In front of your grave, bidding adieu; 
Having visions of the good times with you.
Through my eyes, I see you, 
In my tears I feel you.
When I close my eyes trying to forget you, 
In my heart, I can hear you.
I am merely nothing without you, 
Coz the better half of me was you.
True is my love to you; 
My vision shows me nothing other than you.
Will there be a time to see you anymore? 
Will my heart ever stop longing for you more and more? 
Those times, those good times we together had, 
Those thoughts are making me go mad.
My world is empty without you, 
It seems like my summer has died with you.
My body awaits the touch of you; 
But, all I can do is cry in front of you. 

in The pain memories of my wife birthday 18_9_1973

Hiding the pain

Hiding the pain
Starting to think i'm not longer sane
I've lost my innocence
Now to realize this makes no sense.
These deadly fears
Create those many tears
The end is not yet near
So here i am taking on these years.
The blood dripping down my arm
Thinking it does no harm
she's the light of my life
So there's no point to my knife. 

Clarity

When you’ve lost that which was there
Much that you said had not been fair
The Sheppard had left his staff for repair
The bells had gone silent 
The road had no bends 
Voices in the head drove one to despair.
The grass and the leaves had fallen
And autumn harbored winter’s air.

Waiting for you

To me about you as it counts the stars 
and frequently even excessively 
mainly there, it is you. 
The stars I have known, 
have consisted of only one thing, 
threes and sevens. 
Stars without you, 
'That star does not show, 
'at all in me-And you look at everything. 
When I see, the star dispersed about dawn it sings
of mourning, 'concerning your head. 
The star which is you I have not met, 
under any condition, therefore as for me, 
when I think of that which you spoke concerning you, 
however long is the way 
and I directly, 
'never with you, can I speak of it, 'excessively, 
you do not have to appear, yet when you do, 
and watching ... yet I'm still waiting for you.

Autumn_has come

Spring as my autumn it has come, 

when driftwood

by the wind and green the waves.

Eternal is flame, when passed on.

Heavy is my head, 

in the shape of your hands

birds flying high, clouds floating by.

The edges, the curves and none knowing why, 

at the crossroads of one, she hears my cry.

Spinning around looking down are the tears

looking up at the dawns, iridescent cold blue fire. 

Driftwood and sleep, letters and ink, 

left in the sand in the heat of the nights moon light. 

..

Sh.H

How i found you !!!

There's an angel in the smile on your face, 
There are emotions that are to strong to erase, 
I'll never stop you from eating away at my heart. 
And there is a part of this world that you have never known 
And why? 
all the fading colors have arrived. 
And this is how I found you. 
Hiding in a safer place where I was turned to go, 
You took me by the hand, made a soft place for me to land, 
And there is a part of this world that you have never known, 
And why? 
all the fading colors have arrived. 
And this is how I found you, 
Found you, Found you, Found you, here. 
Cheaters never prosper and winners never quit 
I'm not giving up on you, just one more time that is it. 
Yeah
And there's a pert of this world you have never known. 
And why? 
all the fading colors have arrived. 
And now .. could you tell me how I found you !!!

Someone in distress

Never turn the light out 
on someone in distress. 
Never turn your back 
on someone’s cry for help. 
Someday you maybe 
in the same predicament 
and it would be comforting to know, 
that around the corner 
there is someone who cares. 
Someone to give you a hand 
when you need it the most. 
So never turn the light out 
on someone in distress.

landscapes of our desires

In the landscape of our desires, 
it is the pinnacles 
we seek to reach. 
The burning passions 
of love and lust 
born only onto man. 
The heights of heaven, 
the unreachable thrown 
upon which sits our maker. 
The gusto’s of infinity 
beyond where no one goes 
in the landscapes of our desires 
we are captives of our mind 
serving out a sentence 
of which others left behind. 
The pregnant flame of youth 
where all are born again 
standing near the pinnacles 
in the landscapes of our desires.

Darkness Freedom

 Maybe the things we've seen will scar us for life,
growing up we've seen wrong and very little of right, Sometimes we hear a sad song and tears roll down our face, we look in the mirror and feel so out of place, We don't want to become something larger than life, we want to become something real and so right, do they understand are we understood,
can life be better we wish that it could,  for sure before we make a decision we need to think twice, they say what can we do to help other's feel better I say anything possible because ... this is .. our life
I don’t respect the people that don’t respect me, I'm starting respect the people that deserve it, that’s how i’ll get somewhere in life.

أغيب وذو اللطائف لا يغيب

أغيب وذو اللطائف لا يغيب وأرجوه رجاء لا يخيب 

وأسأله السلامة من زمان بليت به نوائبه تشيب 

وأنزل حاجتي في كل حال إلى من تطمئن به القلوب 

فكم لله من تدبير أمر طوته عن المشاهدة الغيوب 

وكم في الغيب من تيسير عسر ومن تفريج نائبة تنوب 

ومن كرم ومن لطف خفي ومن فرج تزول به الكروب 

ومن لي غير باب الله باب ولا مولا سواه ولا حبيب 

كريم منعم بر لطيف جميل الستر للداعي مجيب 

حليم لا يعاجل بالخطايا رحيم غيث رحمته يصوب 

فيا ملك الملوك أقل عثاري فإني عنك أنأتني الذنوب 

وأمرضني الهوى لهوان حظي ولكن ليس غيرك لي طبيب 

فآمن روعتي واكبت حسودا فإن النائبات لها نيوب 

وآنسني بأولادي وأهلي فقد يستوحش الرجل الغريب 

ولي شجن بأطفال صغار أكاد إذا ذكرتهم أذوب 

ولكني نبذت زمام أمري لمن تدبيره فينا عجيب 

هو الرحمن حولي واعتصامي به وإليه مبتهلا أتيب 

إلهي أنت تعلم كيف حالي فهل يا سيدي فرج قريب 

في ديان يوم الدين فرج هموما في الفؤاد لها دبيب 

وصل حبلي بحبل رضاك وانظر إلي وتب علي عسى أتوب 

وراع حمايت وتول نصري وشد عراي إن عرت الخطوب 

وألهمني لذكرك طول عمري فإن بذكرك الدنيا تطيب 

وقل عبد الرحيم ومن يليه لهم في ريف رأفتنا نصيب 

فظني فيك يا سندي جميل ومرعى ذود آمالي جميل 

وصل على النبي وآله ما ترنم في الآراك العندليب
I stay away ... that's my religion, We aren't a killer

September 11th

in remembrance of the people who have lost their lives on a dreadful day
this wont be so much of a poem, but I've got something to say
On September 11th people all over the world will remember that day. So much violence and hatred in this world. It is so unfair to the parents who had to endure this day knowing their child is somewhere else than with you at a time like this. It is also unfair to the people who died because of people's careless acts. September will always be a day of silence for me. Knowing that my parent got deeply affected by peoples acts.
but if i need to show my opinion in this day ...!!
It was zero day to start the war against Terrorism, 
It was the day that each one in USA should think more about .. is it really that Islam was the reason behind this.. i dare you .. that's a fool thinking
So many facts shown another hidden hands on this action, and let us start with this fact about this Fake governor called USA .. 10 years later from now and NASA secret reports will show in public to tell all you that there is no no nobody could land in Moon surface .. So, whom made all the US ppl believe this big lie will makes anyone believe that Islam was behind this forbidden acts.
..
by the way i have 13 reports to show anyone the truth about the big lie ..Landing in Moon, and finally governments finally play them dirty acts with us .. nations or humans just to satisfy them ambitions.
God bless all the Innocent lives..

روجت إدارة الرئيس الأمريكي السابق جورج بوش لوقائع مزيفة واستندت على كذبة أحداث 11 سبتمبر لتبرير شن الحرب على الإرهاب العالمي ( الإسلامي كما يزعمون ) ,,, فكان لزاماً تفسير الحقيقة المؤلمة بشأن هذه الأحداث المكذوبة وفضح تورط الإدارة الأمريكية في هذه الهجمات على برجي مركز التجارة العالمي لدلائل تشير إلى صعوبة وقوع مثل هذه النوعية من الهجمات دون مشاركة عناصر مهمة من الحكومة الأمريكية والجيش والدفاع وبعض حلفاء الإدارة الأمريكية، إذ أن غزو أفغانستان كان مخططاً له وحظى بموافقة الرئيس الأمريكى جورج بوش قبل هجمات ١١ سبتمبر على العاصمة الأمريكية .

حقيقة كذبة 11 سبتمبر :

تتمثل النقطة الأولى في التدليل على تورط الرئيس بوش، وتشيني، في هذا الأمر لرفضه تحديد لجنة تقصي الحقائق عن ١١ سبتمبر على الرغم من ضغوط أهالي الضحايا، فضلاً عن طلبه من رئيس الأغلبية في الكونجرس بإجراء تحقيق محدود في هذا الأمر ، واشتراط استجوابه وتشيني على انفراد دون تسجيل لذلك .

النقطة الثانية ، في عدم تعرض القوات الجوية الأمريكية ، التي تخضع لسلطة نائب الرئيس الأمريكي ، ديك تشيني ، حينها للطائرات التي استهدفت مركزي التجارة العالمي ، إذ أنه من غير المنطقي أن القوات الجوية الأمريكية لم يكن في استطاعتها منعها فور إقلاعها ، وهو ما يدل على تورطه في الأمر .

وتتمثل النقطة الثالثة في حقيقة أن المتهمين بالتخطيط لهذه الهجمات ، كان من الأفضل لهم إذ ما كانوا متورطين في الأمر ويستهدفون الإدارة الأمريكية ، أن يستهدفوا مكتب وزير الدفاع رامسفيلد، ومكاتب القيادات العسكرية العليا عند ضربهم مبنى البنتاجون ، وليس ضرب جانباً من المبنى كان خالياً نسبياً ويخضع للتصليحات .

وفيما يتعلق بتدمير برج التجارة العالمي ، يأتي الاتهام الثالث للإدارة الأمريكية والجيش بالتخطيط للأمر ، إذ انهيار البرجين بهذه الطريقة ، التي أكد المهندسين أنها حدثت نتيجة ذوبان الحديد والمعدن في هيكل المبنيين ، لا يمكن أن تتسبب فيها درجة حرارة الحريق الذى نشب عقب ضرب الطائرتين، خاصة أنه تم تأكيد وجود بقايا لمادة الكبريت ، ومزيج من مسحوق الألومنيوم والحديد في الغبار الذي أسفر عنه التدمير ، وهاتان المادتان لا يتم استخدامهما إلا بواسطة الجيش الأمريكي ، بل ويتم تطويرهما داخل معامله .

وآخر الاتهامات تتمثل في رفض الإدارة الأمريكية إجراء أي تحقيق جنائي لكشف حقائق الأمر ، وعدم توجيه أي تهم جنائية رسمية لأسامة بن لادن ، خاصة أن تبنيه مسؤولية الحادث عبر شريط فيديو بعد الحادث يدل على أن هذه الشرائط مزيفة .

Tell Me !!

tell me if you care
love me if you dare
please if you fear
don't shead a tear
sing me a song
as i follow along
give me a chance
as i grant you a dance


May i .. wish all you a wonderful evening

Fatality

Deep inside my own hate.
Deep inside my own disgrace.
that feirce taste of regret.
that feirce fear of not knowing who to trust.
the aching pain of betrayal.
the betrayed and the betrayer.
the constant reinactment of my hellful past.
that constant thought of hate.
stuck inbetween life and death.
where to go from here? 
what to do from here? 
can i escape this hell abyss? 
or will my fatal reality eat me alive? 
tortured by this insane sensation of death.
it's screaming my name.
who do i turn to? 
do i put my trust and heart out there again? 
or let my 'friends' continue to feast on it? 
love; the new hate.
Fear; the new brave.
hell; the new heaven compared to earth.
life itself is un-bearable.
life is just a sick game.
people are the evil pawns.
i am the target.
i'm ready for the face of death.
will death be beautiful or vulgar? 
i'm ready for the serene darkness, full of screaming silence.
hit me..

Behind The Footlights

I stand behind the footlights, 
wait for the curtain to fall, 
another night will be over, 
and tomorrow another stage will call. 
For a travelling minstrel, 
on a tour of one night stands, 
knowing at home there is someone special, 
with beckoning arms outstretched, 
awaiting for this lonesome traveller, 
to return to those loving arms again. 
Each day that I’m on the road, 
I can’t wait to get back home, 
to the warmth of my family, 
and my loving home. 
One day I will earn enough, 
so I don’t have to travel or roam, 
then I can settle down 
in my loving home. 
Until that day comes along, 
each day will be a lonely one, 
and no one will ever see the tears 
I hide as the curtain falls. 
No one will know the loneliness 
that follows me each day. 
It is only when I see the lights, 
from our home windows glow, 
that my heart will lift, 
and love will again flow. 

Eyes of Passion

Passion, the forbidden fruit of love....
masked by layers of deception....
shrouded in the mystery of the eyes...
eyes that tell no lies as the tongue speak those lies..
feelings expressed through these eyes....
windows to the heart's desires.....
waiting for pleasures that will feed those fires
simmering, seething, glowing.....
eyes....watching, willing and waiting