I Hate you

I hate the way you are 
I hate the way you laugh
I hate the way you smile
I hate the way you walk
I hate the way you talk
I hate the you call me
I hate the way you ask how was your day?
I hate you
I hate you
I hate you
But most of all I hate how much
 I LOVE YOU

Raindrops

The raindrop vaporised and fell for years and years, it's journey never stopping. Along the way, it fell on a field and got soaked up by one of the grain. 
After years of work and care, the grain became a scotch which was bottled by a whiskey company, making millions of dollars selling a ticket to nowhere for lonely fools.
As chance will it, the raindrop who beheld a young student 30 years ago, became part of the last drink this particular student raised to greed his lips.
He never learned to fight the agonising pain, which origin he couldn't explain. 
He kept starring at the rain and the night. He stared at the young lovers and the lonely souls. 
He stared into the eyes of people he met, but he never met someone who could reach beyond his.
He flunked his life, of course. The idiot was a poet more than a student (And he wasn't much of a poet neither). Over time he learned that some people just aren't meant to be happy. Hell, some people aren't even meant to be content.
His life became a story of bottles and he would be remembered for years as: 
"The intelligent, creative man who threw it all away without reason"

How Am I !!! don't you miss me !!!

i sit and cry on my bed at home
missing you it hurts 
why did you have to go 
go so far away don't you miss me
i wonder if your looking at the same star i am 
and wishing we could be together
i will never hold a hand of another guy
why did you have to go 
you knew i loved you i though you loved me too
i told you that all the time
i am small and the world big
surrounded by many things
ya we may have fought but i did not no that it hurt you so much 
we may look different but inside we are one
I'm giving up on every thing 
i was the one who was wrong
i miss you i miss you so bad 
i won't forget you 
i hope you can hear me
our relationship got worse every day i should of saw it coming 
i didn't get around to kiss you
i feel so bad
i wish i could see you again
but that has nothing to do with it 
just the sound of your voice will make me smile 
people have seen a change in me 
I've been very quiet lately 
always thinking about you thinking us
yes that's how i pictured it 
i don't know about you and just saying this 
if your reading this 
i love you

Light A Candle .. Just for you ..

light a candle,
see it glow,
watch it dance,
when you feel low,
think of me,
think of light,
I'll always be here,
day or night,
a candle flickers,
out of sight,
but in your heart,
I still burn bright,
think not of sadness,
that I'm not near,
think of gladness,
and joyous cheer,
I have not left,
I am not gone,
I'm here to stay
my little one,
so when you light a candle
and you see it glow
and you watch it dance
in your heart you'll know
that I would never leave you
even when you feel so blue
I'm sitting up here with the Lord
and now watching over you

Girl Tears Of Guilt

nobody really knows how much she blames herself 
she wipes a tear from her face,
and stares at the picture on the shelf.
she shouldn't have screamed and yelled that night on the phone.
maybe if she'd changed her tone Mama would have come home.
instead her Mama disappeared with out a trace 
she never said goodbye to her
now tears roll down her face.
she misses mom more than anyone could see,
its just too bad the little girl is me.
my Mama left me lonely and sad.
I miss the few good times we had
maybe if I had held my tongue that day...
mama would be here to stay.
now I shed a tear every day because I miss my mom
it's really hard to deal with, knowing she's really gone.

What you mean to me !!

You are the sun in the sky,

You are the light shining by,

You are the breeze in my hair,

You’re the life I want to share.

You are what makes my days go by,

You are the ones I’ll tell no lies

You are the ones who make me smile,

I’ll stay by you a long while.

Your smiles light up my day,

They make the darkness go away,

You’re the reason I am alive,

One day you'll be someone wise

You are very special woman,

You are apart of this special world,

I know I can't hold you right now,

Thinking of you makes me smile.

You will be in my arms .. Not soon,

When you miss me look at the moon,

Because when I miss you I’ll do the same,

And you won't feel any pain.

Because we know we will be together again,

To laugh, run a smile again,

I want you not to fear,

I’ll whip away ever tear.

Just remember deep in your hearts,

I’m not the reason we had to apart,

And that I love you more than life,

You are the angels of my life.

One more thing before you go,

Always remember my sweet girls,

I love you and need you so ...

The One I Used To Know

what happened to the person, the one I used to know

the one who never let me down, and never told me no
what happened to the person, who used to laugh and playthere's nothing left of her, but what you are today
what happened to the person, who never let me down
she's gone now, and she left me with a frown
what happened to the person, who left me in such pain
I know now that from her, there's nothing left to gain
what happened to the person, who used to have such pride
I don't know anymore, cuz she was always pushing me aside
what happened to the person, the one who never used to cry
I wish I could have told her, I love her and goodbye

STAND STRONG

When things seem difficult miserable
Life is turning away from you
Intimidated and worn out you remain
In darkness at a corner you examine
Watching the sky as it disappears
Reminding the lost beloved ones
How beautiful and caring they were
Vanishing without saying goodbye
Shortening your long life span
And leaving you destitute and lonely
Deeply you wonder
How life can really be unfair 
To honest and good people like you
But all you let go off
And focus to mend your life
And strengthen your heart
With good and caring friends on your side
Opening the picture of brightness
Knowing GOD holds your hand
Leading you to your success
Stars embracing the whole sky
And you know your journey has started
In pursuit of your purpose
Slowly matching from dusk to dawn
With smiles and determination
In whispers you read your heart
ALWAYS STAND STRONG

An Angle ..

One day on my way I found thee,
Under the branches of a blooming tree
White petals lay around thy head,
"Why angel hadst thou from heaven fled?"
My feet stood rooted to the spot,
Aye, move further I could not
So I watched thy sleeping silhouette,
Whilst my heart silently bled
Thy beauty was not mine to own,
Back to heaven it has flown
All that stayed is thy memory, 
Be assured: I'll never forget thee!

Myth Of Surrender

Across a scarlet sunset I will be watching
Flowers turn in vain to face the falling sun
But drinking in the moonlight of defeat
In the darkness their failures will dawn
And the worst emerge from hiding
We have all become chasers
Of things we know must end
It never stops us
We can’t help but
Defy fate

On a lone old wooden bench I will be waiting
The last stronghold of nature in the city
Now towers grow like trees in the summer
Standing as shepherds of our downfall
The stars burn themselves out slower
When nothing can be salvaged
Hope is all we have left
It’s never enough
But we still try
Even now

Each tired Sunday morning I will be wasting
Some little amount of the time we have left
Praying to some god to make it all right
When church is as silent as mourning
We have been abandoned in turn
Lost as a chick returning
The nest isn’t empty
It was never there
We build alone
All the same

From the heart of disaster I will be wanting
For somehow everything to come to an end
And spare us the agony of waiting
The race itself is against madness
You don’t win prizes for trying
Only perception changes
The game’s rigged then it’s done
Even knowing this
Nothing differs
We still fight

In a place all to myself I will be wishing
That I saw the reason for futility
Others think to hold back death with laughter
If clowns were angels we would be saved
But I deny the sun it’s light
For what I see in the day
But who would dim the stars?
And even in this
Ironically
I too strive

On the curb outside your house I will be weeping
Through a broken heart all things seem a drama
And if the world won’t end it feels that way
Doomed from the start, but I still want you
Out of sight is not out of mind
For the night kisses the day
And still the faithful pray
They were all right, though
I won’t give up
Not this time

She's My Inspiration

What is a inspiration you may ask ?
Well there's one name for my inspiration “ Lana” 
A lady who always has her head held high even when it tries to be down. 
A lady that loves you unconditionally through the tough and the good times. 
A lady that has that comforting shoulder to cry on when times just get to rough to handle. 
My inspiration, 
Looks out for me and guides me down the right path when I get off road, 
She's one awesome lady Not only is she my Lana but my Best Friend.
Someone to count on when no one else is around and no one else will do.
Thanks for always being there Lana.

Tell Me !!!!

Tell me, how to love someone
who doesn't love me back.
Tell me, how to respect someone 
who doesn't deserve my respect.
Tell me, how to trust someone 
who betrayed me so badly.
Tell me, how to care for someone 
who never cared about me.
Tell me, how to speak nicely to someone
who only spoke down to me with bad words.
Tell me, how to get along with someone
who brought me nothing but endless tears.
Tell me, how to get close to someone 
who caused me so much pain.
Tell me, how to forgive someone
who hurt me so severely.
Tell me, how to open my heart to someone 
who broke it to pieces too many times.

Do You Ever Stop And Think?

Do you ever stop and think? 
Just reflect on everything that's happened to you in the last few days. Months. Years.Do you wonder where all that time went? 
All those special moments or just the ordinary daily activities that are now only memories. Memories that are unique and the only way you can hold onto them is by replaying them in your mind over and over again, until the details all merge together and you're left with a fuzzy recollection that doesn't seem to fit anymore.
Do you remember the exact time when you started to grow up? When the conversations you had were not about dolls or imaginary friends but about sex, boys and 'How far have you gone'? When you started giggling not because you're covered in mud, but because you remembered the time that a girl or a boy kissed you?
Have you ever turned around and suddenly everyone was 3 feet taller, with bigger parts and more curves and you had no idea where it all came from? 
Have you ever felt that the closest people to you are also the furthest away? Felt that everything was happening too fast? And even though you didn't want to grow up, you didn't want to be left behind either?

And when her hand is no longer a girl's but a woman's, when her touch does not convey safety but lust and when your body betrays you and wants it too, is this when we have grown up? Or is it when we are forced to grow up?

And who tells us when we have grown up? How do we know when we have reached our destination? Do we ever stop growing up or do we continue to just grow in spirit?

And if I can see everyone else making choices, trying new things, growing up, is it selfish for me to want it to stay the same forever?
And if I make my own choices, try different things, slowly growing up, will others notice that I'm changing too? Do they wish that nothing would change just like I do?

And if I'm just scared of losing the people that are close to me, scared of being left behind or leaving others behind, is it okay for me to stand off in the distance just watching these people live their lives, remembering how they are and how they make me feel?
But if I hold onto them too tightly how am I to move on? How am I to grow up and LIVE MY LIFE? How am I to make decisions and take on responsibility if I'm living in the past?

I guess time continues whether you want it to or not, leaving you behind or taking you for the journey of your life.

children suffer

Why must children suffer, for the wrong we do?
Why must children pay the price for the ugly hate we spew?
Why must children have to cope with hunger and with war?
Why must children feel the wrath at Mother Natures core?
Why can't children just be free and learn the way of love?
Why can't children have no cares and love their God above?
Why should children have to worry about their future's air?
Why must they endure these things because we were aware?!
Why is the question we must ask to truly make things right.
Why is the question we must answer so we can sleep at night.
Why can't we now take the stand and help our children win?
THIS is why I take this stand and hope you all join in!