Unanswered questions

Where did the light go? 
and when did the darkness take over ? ! 
everything's out of place! 
where did the love go? 
and when did violence become the new peace ? ! 
it's all so hatefully.
where did the happiness go? 
and when did the depression take over ? ! 
it's not right. ..!!
and when did the lonelyness become company ? ! 
and when did this obsession of black come back ? ! 
and why is suicide such a want ? ! 
where did all the tears come from ? ! 
where's all the blood coming from ? ! 
why am i so angered ? ! 
why has 'god' let me down ? ! 
why am i in pain ? 
why am i such a mistake? ! 
why am i still alive? ! 
why am i even here? ! 
why is it so hard to smile? ! 
how did all this come upon me? 
why arent the pills working? 
why does this world have to be so cruel

Internal Conflict

This deep internal rage burns through my veins.
my internal torture eats me alive.
these thoughts put me in an instant haze of pain.
my dignity has been murdered in an on-slaught war.
these tears plummet down my face with the sting of toxic waste.
my blood-shot eyes give me a new look to my already too ugly face making it more painful to look at my reflection.
these sensations of death they take over and gain control.
i try to fight back these feelings but just end up deeper in the abyss inside.
with my adreniline rush, heart speeding, hate rage, haze, and acid tears im slowly dieing, dieing a painful death.
the heavenly screamo music flooding my ears put me in some trans of this unfamiliar feeling......
love.!
hope.!!
joy.!!!
no.....
happiness.!
happiness.!!
happiness, a VERY unfamiliar feeling; a stranger.
suddenly everything.....just instantaneously dissapears.
temporarily gone, but im accepting the fact that this so called 'happiness' isn't going to last long, rage will soon murder it too

Being a fool is easier

Those words may not always be there to say,
What feelings felt in moments bring.
And finding in my mind what my heart knows best...
Sometimes from my lips are not there to confess.
I am not trained to disconnect,
From sensitivities I don't expect.
I am not trained to just neglect...
My eyes from impressions.
Or my ears from remembered lessons.
I choose to move in forward steps.
Sweeping away experiences...
I have yet to perfect.
What I do is done with a truth I pursue.
Making excuses for myself I refuse to do.
And admitting this is not difficult.
Since I will be the first to say...
Being a fool is easier.
Than to hide and have someone decide,
If I am trying to hard to say what's inside. 

Facebook Friend!

Hi my Dear Facebook Friend! 
My dear friend! You made me cry today! ! 
I can see you and your smile as
For years that I knew you in 
In contacts made with you on and off.
Suddenly you are not any more.
Not to be found. Not to be heard.
Not there in the mind's eye anymore… …
That how you’d be if you’d be..! 
The times we’d think of you
Are just moments only, and of no other
Consequences, whatsoever at all.
This is the common paradox.. 
When we are dead or divorced or
Gone beyond the wall.. that we 
Are away in some horizon.. it’s called
Oblivion! But we are still there? 
This is the paradox.. that I could have
Talked once more. Could have
Known a little more from you.
Could somehow be with you to
Steal away a moment that took you! 
This is the paradox.. that you are
The name that would be forgotten.
The email id that would be no more.
Some love that wouldn’t be lost.
And would smile for evermore! 
How can I stop thinking of you? But
The fact, who am I writing to, here now
Confronts me and then I leave you friend! 
Just say good bye 
With a few tears

The shadows of my mind.

There are lots of memories locked away 
within the shadows of my mind. 
Memories of childhood years gone by 
and they are located in the dark recesses 
awaiting one day to escape from 
within the shadows of my mind. 
We tend to hide away 
the sad things in our lives, 
locking them away 
never to see again the light of day. 
We wish not to resurrect 
all their sadness and pain. 
Therefore, we store them away 
within the shadows of our mind. 
In the shadows, hold many tragedies 
of which we do not want to relive. 
The pain grows constantly 
just thinking of them again. 
So as I close each chapter 
of my life as it unfolds 
the memories that bring 
the most pain are locked away 
within the shadows of my mind.

If she's happy

If she's happy, I'm happy, especially when it flows from her to me, 
The mind wonders forwards and back across the seven seas, 
To bring me back to a place where my heart is free, 
For if fate denies me the opportunity to see her again, 
Denies me one last chance to try and make amends, 
Then remember the heart is yearning, almost reminiscing of a time spent, 
Between great friends, attempting to find contentment in each other's arms,
Take me back to the one who brought the calm, before the storm, 
Then the heart is torn, forlorn, gone, hurt and eventually reborn, 
Because the knowledge that her smile is wide and her heart is at peace, 
Is enough to put me to eternal sleep, 
If she walks away, I'll stand and wait, no hurt, no guilt, no pain, 
Knowing that she's happy takes all that away, 
And I'll move on, to brighter days, feeling nostalgic about the good old days, 
but it's okay, its fine, her happiness is mine, 
she said if i forget her, she'll forget me, 
but I cant, because only if she's happy, I'm happy, and especially when it flows from her to me

Trust ..

They say they want the truth, others say they can't handle the truth
They say the truth never sounded this good, 
When the truth was about peace and love, 
Some say the truth is lost somewhere among the 7 seas, 
Others say only the truth is what really sets us free, 
I was told that the truth is stranger than fiction, 
And within it lies the honesty of our addictions, 
And for us to reach the truth with any real conviction, 
We must battle through everyone of one life's daily afflictions, 
The truth is we witness genocide, hate, lies and hypocrisy, 
And these beautiful words cant mask all the profanity, 
Some say the truth is out there, 
Others dare not find or worse they dont really care, 
They say that the truth is neither here nor there, 
I heard the truth is found in a cold stare, 
Or a mother's grief at a loss she can not bear, 
Some say that real truth is rare, 
In a world which is cold, unscrupulous and unfair, 
They say that the truth hurts, with no remedy for the discomfort, 
The truth is people lie, 
Become occupied with doing more wrong than right, 
Others believe the truth can be whatever you like, 
Whatever you say, read or write, 
A man told me truth is the only thing you will never find, 
because truth is unobtainable in this world of mine, I was lead to believe that the truth is right, 
but truth changes depending on its source of mind, 
They don't want us to know the truth, 
Because the truth is what separates them from us, 
The truth gives us the hope in a smile and bonds a trust, 
Love is truth in its most sincerest form, 
Such as the truth from a mother when her child is born, 
Or the forlorn look when her child is gone, 
The truth is everywhere, we're just too blind to see it, 
The truth was sent to us by Allah, the truth is in this room I can feel it, 
The truth is in our minds, hearts, souls and spirits.
It shall prevail and make you believe, 
The truth my friend shall set you free
The truth can can be what ever you want it to be, 
Whatever is in your heart, what ever you trully believe, 
That is filled with love, hope and prosperity, 
Whenever they try and blind you but you can still see
Whenever they try and choke you but you can still breathe
Whenever they try and oppress you but you are still free
When you do right by those who have done you wrong
When you can get on ur knees and pray to the Lord
Every morning, when light falls from the heavens to the skies, 
He reveals the truth to me, 
In a manner within which these words could never describe.

A disappointed life

The ash tray holds the ashes
From his smoked out cigarettes
With each new passing day
He's filled with more regrets
It seems life and chances
Have all but passed him by
He struggles just to exist
But he's not too sure why
His life has been a failure
By any standard that you use
It seems the choices that he made
Were always the wrong one's to choose
But still he always tried
To do what was right
He sleeps away the days
He stay awake all night
Drinking eases the pain
Of a life that went all wrong
He tried so very hard
But he's just not that strong
Years ago his wife left him
She couldn't take no more
One day when he returned home
He found a note upon a hospital door 
O... your wife passed away be strong
So that is why we have to leave
I wish you nothing but the best
I'm still think of you when I look at the kids
Goodbye, and God Bless
Well that was eight years ago
That's how long he's been alone
His body is old and feeling tired
He's waiting to be called home

Who will know what I mean.

It is always sad when you hear 
of a romance that has withered, 
of two hearts that held a flame 
that burned so bright. 
Now flickers with only dying embers light. 
You look on from the sidelines 
knowing there is nothing you can do, 
except to comfort both of them. 
You cannot imagine 
the pain they are going through. 
You feel so helpless, but what can you do?

Memory of you

You went away a long time ago, 
set me adrift in an emotional sea. 
I couldn’t find someone new, 
‘cause I was chained to a memory of you.
Everywhere, little things I saw, 
reminded me of your memory. 
Nothing that I did would pull me free; 
everything just spoke your name to me.
Now I cannot go anywhere, 
as always there is something there. 
To remind me of the fun we used to have, 
in that so long ago.
I tried to break the chain, 
but love is too strong there. 
Therefore, I’ll just go on forever, 
chained to a memory of you.

Chain of life

Every chain is made of links 
just as our life befalls. 
Each time we met someone 
whether it is near or far 
we add another link to our chain of life. 
As our years, multiply 
so will the links on our chain. 
When we lose a link, 
we find another to replace it 
and our chain of life goes on

Candle at the edge of the world

There is a candle at the edge of the world 
that burns for all humanity. 
In the daytime, it burns blue 
to colour our skies when we wake. 
At night, it is covered with a shade 
and that is when darkness calls. 
This candle at the edge of the world 
is a constant reminder to us all 
that if we venture too far too fast 
we will eventually fall. 
The candle burns within us 
to show us the way each day 
and if it ever fails 
that is when our darkness calls. 
It burns through our torment and strife, 
our loves, happiness and failures too. 
That candle at the edge of the world 
is simply me and you. 

love has cast astray

Shadows cross my windowsill, 
at the close of day. 
Raindrops like teardrops, 
I have cried since you went away. 
People pass me by, 
hurry on their way, 
they all overlook this fool, 
that love has cast astray.
Morning with the early birdsong, 
greets my waking eyes. 
Engines with batteries flat, 
strain to come alive. 
Everything is waking, 
for another day, 
and I remain the fool, 
love has cast astray.

Community

I can remember a time 
when the neighbourhood bond was strong. 
When you could chat to one another 
over the fence about everything going on.
Resolving the problems that others had, 
and helping them to get through. 
Those days are in the past.
Oh, where have they gone? 
The community spirit of long, long ago.

Pleasure and the pain

I know some people 
who have experienced both 
the pleasure and the pain 
and some of that pain still remains 
with them to this day. 
One had the pleasure when they were young 
when the pleasure they had 
was classed as wrong 
and they became the scorn of the community. 
They then fell in love, 
but no wedding bells did play. 
Now they say they live in sin. 
What sin is this you ask? 
When two people live together 
and share their life with one another. 
Maybe they are not married, 
but their lives together are happy. 
Who are we to condemn them 
for everything they have, 
certainly not I. 
How can you condemn them 
for living together as man and wife? 
The answer is you cannot 
for when you look at it 
many marriages are only just 
two signatures on a piece of paper.

Broken heart

Broken hearts can mend
It only takes a matter of time
Tears and those red eyes
Will fade you will find
Love will always be around
From dusk to dawn each day
What you’ve lost yesterday
You’ll find again today
Tomorrow will bring something new
Tomorrows always do
A new love will come around
You’ll forget you were ever blue
So don’t despair at parting
Think of it as a new start
And that can ease the pain
Of your broken heart
Some time in the future
You’ll remember what I say
When skies seem grey and cloudy
An the world seems so far away
You’ll search for some meaning
To all your troubles and pain
Thinking it is all your fault
You won’t do that again
But with the tomorrows
New days begin to shine
The sadness will be forgotten
A new love you will find
So don’t despair at parting
Think of it as a new start
That can ease the pain
Of your broken heart

Willingly

Willingly I gave you my heart 
and watched as you trample it into the ground. 
You said that all was fair in love and war, 
but I wasn’t out to do battle with any kindred soul. 
I gave my love willingly, 
you took it readily, 
and soon as my back was turned, 
you began to play around. 
You made our love a battleground 
with your cheating and lies. 
You think it didn’t notice 
and you wouldn’t get the blame. 
I can’t walk out on you 
and you know the reason why. 
You are that love of my lifetime 
and if you go, I’ll surely die. 
So willingly, I put up with all 
the misery you give to me. 
Hoping every day, 
you’ll see the error in your ways 
and you will stop hurting me 
just as willingly.

Simple man

A simple man with simple ideas, 
that’s what he, thinks of himself, 
but others look differently at him. 
They say that he has a heart way off the charts, 
for all the things that he does. 
For the words of comfort that he says, 
and the support he brings to all he meets. 
He cannot see it though; 
to him it is just something 
he has always done naturally. 
To him there is nothing special, 
in all that he does. 
Being kind is no special trait; 
everyone can do it. 
Loving everything and everyone that comes his way, 
a lot of people out there can do that too. 
So why do people choose him? 
He is only human after all, 
no more thoughtful than most. 
Some even think him as an angel, 
he smiles at that, and wishes 
that he had a guardian angel of his own, 
to give him advice when 
he trying to ease someone else’s pain. 
However, he is a simple man, 
who walks through life, 
only doing simple things. 
The only time you will see him frown, 
is when he wants to help someone, 
and finds that he cannot. 
It s then he feels he is failing them, 
because of something he could not do. 
Therefore, if you ever meet this simple man, 
cheer him up a little bit. 
Personally I would like to be like him 
and all that he does possess, 
but my head is buried in the sand, 
too much of the time, 
to do all the things he does. 

My lord

If my lord asks me.! have you shyness in chis obeying me.?
You conceal your sins from my creations and with sins you come to me
So, how will I answer.!!!
O.. Woe to me and who shall protect me !!
I keep averting my soul with thoughts of hope from time to time
And i forget what is to come after death
And what is to come after I'm shrouded, as id I'm guaranteed life eternally
And that death will not come to me
And when the severe stupor of death overtakes, who will protect me !!
I looked at the faces, is there not from amongst them .. Who will ransom me !!
I'll be asked regarding .. what I've prepared in my life to save me on the day of judgment
Then .. how will i answer after I've neglected my religion
Woe to me ..
Did i not hear the speech of God inviting me !!!
Did i not hear what came in my religion
Did i not hear about the day of gathering the day of assemble and the day of judgment!!
Did i not hear the crier of death inviting me .. Calling me !!
So, O .. my Lord .. A slave turning to you .. I have repented
So, who then shall shelter me !!
Except an Lord extensive in forgiveness, to the truth he will guide me
I have come to you in repentance, So, have mercy on me
and make heavy my scales with good deeds
And lighten my account
you are the best of who will bring me to account

Too late

Too late to ... Say goodbye
Too late to ... Hear your sigh
Too late to ... Sooth your pain
Too late to ... Come again
Too late to ... My debt to pay
Too late to ... I am so sorry' say
Too late to ... Hold your hand
Too late to ... Make a stand
Too late to ... Help a friend
Too late to ... Be there - at the end
Too late to ... Show affection
Too late to ... Heal an imperfection
Too late to ... Be there just for you
Too late to ... Help you tie your shoe
Too late ... For our last date
Too late ... Too late - Too too late!