My only question is, Why?

In a world full of masks, costumes and facades...weaving in and out of the traffic called life I still maintain my soul and the characteristic threads that set me apart from others...am I the only one that thinks like this?
People are always telling me to smile, like smiling is going to just take away all the hurt and pain. Well I've tried that I've tried hiding my sorrows and covering the sadness in smiles and what I've learned is that when it hurts this much inside your heart always has a way of showing it no matter how many masks you wear.
Why is it so hard to get over someone that never even loved you? Why is it no one understands your pain? Why is they never understand that when we say I'm Fine it's always a lie? Why is it we've been telling people I'm fine for so long they never even see behind the masks we wear? We get pushed to the limit, we break and we do the same thing over and over again and they still never figure it out. My dears.. We all wear masks, and the time comes when we cannot remove them without removing some of our own skin.

At heaven gates

It is a very disheartening and painful feeling to miss someone. You will miss someone only if you have a lot of affection and love on her or him. Even one minute will seem to be very long and an hour when you miss someone. The flowers, nature, sunshine, fragrance, spring rainbow and all other things will not bring in happiness and solace when you do not have the person dear, near you. It is similar to the situation of a fish being out of water .
once i read to our great, Lamartine rightly said, “Sometimes when one person is missing, the whole world seems depopulated”
But interestingly, i feel that; when you miss someone, the affection grows more and more. and really absence makes our heart grow fonder, is one proverb. When you mis someone, they may appear in your dreams too because your heart and mind are filled with their thoughts all the time. Maybe you are out of my sight, but you will never be out of my heart, I may not see your face near by, but I will always remember your smile, I will never hear your voice again but you will forever whisper in my ear, I never got to say goodbye to you, or tell you how much you really meant to me, but just listen .. one day we will meet at heavens gates and I will be with you again and this time it will be forever. In the end, all we have left are memories. Bits and pieces of the time we've spent together. No matter how long the time was. It'll never seem like enough...

Thoughts are the shadows of our feelings

Not everything that is faced can be changed by our actions or even through our feelings, but nothing can be changed until it is faced truly and bravely. our feelings are a kind of emotional state that is perceived. When we experience more feelings and do not find words to express them, feelings tend to compensate that. We can close our eyes to things we do not want to see but we cannot close our heart to the things we do not want to feel. It is highly essential that we respect the feelings of others.. even they do not care about us anymore, Feelings have the power to influence the actions of men because we are more governed by feelings than by reason. In fact feelings are intertwined in every cell of our body and mind. What we think we feel and that is why it is rightly said, “Thoughts are the shadows of our feelings”.
Now just when we feel sad .. just remember to never feel alone, never feel unloved, never feel unwanted, never feel scared, never feel these emotions at all, because you are special to me and I want you to be happy.

انتبه ... السيارة ترجع الى الخلف

مبكرا، فطن اليسار في مصر إلى أن المرشح المنتظر للرئاسة المشير عبدالفتاح السيسى ليس له ظهير سياسى منظم. القوى المنظمة في مصر هي إما التيارات الإسلامية، ولن يكون لها دور مستقبلا، وإما الحزب الوطنى، ومن الصعب العودة إليه على الأقل في ظل الظروف الحالية. بقية الأحزاب بما فيها اليسار لا تصلح ظهيرا. لعدم ثقة الشارع بها من جهة، ولضعفها الشديد من جهة أخرى.
الدهاء والمكر الشديدان لدى اليسار ركزا جهودهما حول كيفية استقطاب المرشح الرئيس. أطلقوا الجدل العبثى حول الربط بين شخصيته وشخصية الراحل جمال عبدالناصر في الشبه. رغم أنه لا يوجد أي شبه في الحديث. رغم أنه ليس هناك أي تشابه في اتخاذ القرار. رغم أن الرجل لم يكن قد مارس سلطة الحكم بعد.. في المظاهرات والتجمعات حملوا صور الاثنين معا. في اللقاءات التليفزيونية والصحفية جعلوا منها قصصا وحكايات. فرضوها على الرأى العام في الشوارع والمقاهى.
ما أعرفه شخصيا عن الرئيس عبدالناصر أنه تسلم مصر والسودان وغزة في بداية حكمه. قبل أن يرحل كانت قد انفصلت السودان. وتم احتلال غزة. وضاعت معهما سيناء شمالا وجنوبا. وأصبحت قوات الاحتلال الإسرائيلى على مشارف القاهرة.
لماذا، إذن، نحاول الربط بين عبدالناصر، وهذا حاله، والرئيس الجديد. السيسى نعول عليه التقدم للأمام، وليس العودة للخلف كما حدث مع الشبيه المزعوم. كنت أتمنى استنكارا ممن حول الرئيس لهذه المزايدات. إلا أنه يبدو أنها قد راقت لهم.
تحت هذه المزاعم توطدت علاقة هذا التيار الفاشل بمؤسسة المرشح. التي أصبحت فيما بعد مؤسسة رئاسة. راحوا يتصدرون المواقع في لجنة الدستور. شكلوا المجلس الأعلى للصحافة. المجلس القومى لحقوق الإنسان. سيطروا على المؤسسات الصحفية القومية. عملية تمكين طبق الأصل من تمكين الإخوان. تغلغلوا في المراكز القيادية بالحكومات المتعاقبة. كل ذلك بزعم أنهم الورثة الشرعيون للنظام السابق. ولمَ لا؟. والرئيس الجديد قريب الشبه بالمتوفى. طبعا كلها خطط لسلفية من نوع آخر. سلفية اشتراكية فشلت في العالم كله، وسقطت مصر معها. تحاول أن تتعافى، ولكن على استحياء شديد.

الغريب في الأمر أن الرئيس الجديد تحدث عن استبدال العجلة الهوائية بالسيارات. راقت لهم الدعوى جداً معتبرين أنها اشتراكيتهم.. تحدث عن حد أقصى للأجور. راقت لهم أكثر على اعتبار أنهم طوال الوقت حانقون على الستر الاجتماعى.. رفع الأسعار، وبدأ في إلغاء الدعم. لم يفتحوا فمهم بكلمة واحدة. على الرغم من أن عمليات السطو والحرق والنهب التي قاموا بها في شوارع القاهرة عام ١٩٧٧ ما زالت ماثلة في الأذهان.. للتذكرة. كان ذلك في أعقاب رفع الأسعار بضعة مليمات.

ثوره الجياع

شوف ايه الى هيحصل لو استمر رفع الاسعـــــــــــــار
البلد حـــــــــــــالها هيتقلب والعيشه هتبقى مــــــــــرار
والواحد ميعرفش يعيش غير لما يشتغل ليل ونـــــــهار
ولو زادت شويه الاسعــــــار وولعت نار
الاب هيبيع ابنه ويشترى مكانه حــــــــمار
لابياكل ولا بيصرف وكمان ممكن يسرح بيه بخضـــــار
ولا ... بنته تنحرف عشان تجبيب فلوس وتجبله الــعار
ده لما الاسعار تزيد مش هتلاقى حتى الخـــــيار
حتى لو لقيته هتلاقى ســـعره 3 دولار
والناس عشان تاكل هتاكل ورق اشجــــــــــــــــــــــار
ولما تيجى تشرب شاى هتحط مكان السكر صــــــــبار
وساعتها بدل متشرب شاى هتشرب ميه نـــــــــــــــــار
ده غير كده هتكتر عمليات القتل والانتحــــــــــــــار
ماهو الفقير هو الى هيقشر البيضه
والى فوقيهم يخدوا البياض وكبار البلد هيكلوا الصــفار
والبلد هيبقى فيها فوضى ودمار
ومش بعيد البلد تحتل ماهو اعدائها شايفنها بتنهــــــار
ونعيش فيكى يابلد تحت الحصــــــــار
ياعينى عليكى يابلد ياعينى على الزمن الـــــــــــغدار
ماهو حكامك خلينك كوسه على خيــــــــــــــــــــــار
وكلمه اخيره هقولها يارب ياستـــــــار

Silent tears

A thunderous silence breaks through my thoughts.
What was once many great ideas is now a triumph, lost.
Baffling words tumble through my mind.
Reflections of darkness hover.
A disturbing peacefulness beckons to me, and inside myself, I take cover.
What would it be like to stay there forever?
To be lost in all my cares?
From the inside, looking out ... I cry silent tears

Through my fake smiles..

I've learned a lot these past few months .. Through my fake smiles and unseen tears, 
That friends sometimes aren't forever
that true love doesn't always last
And happy memories stay with you .. but those happy moments go by fast
O.. Words can cut deeper than any sword
Leaving you with something
That no man could replace or ever afford
Sometimes things happen,
Sometimes your heart will break
Though to feel real happiness this is what's at stake
In order to have the comfort of heaven
and your story to live to tell
You must also experience the hate-filled life of hell
Remember . . . There will always be someone there
Someone that honestly does care
A person can leave your life
Leave you alone with your worries and strife
But like pain, the love you once felt cannot from your body depart but only may enter your heart
Don't worry someday it will all get better
Your mornings will grow joyful with someone to love
And you'll have the kind of life you thought you could only dream of .. I've been there before with my head in my hands
Believing there's no way anyone could ever understand
But they do . . . trying everything they can to help you
Still you sit there unknowing and blind .. To what soon you'll be glad to find.

My Philosophy

My real name isn't important anymore.. i even have no much philosophy in life but i know only one thing, in this world we have to pay as we go.. sometimes all we have isn't enough just for survival.

Try harder

To be forgiven a person has to first be willing to be honest with their counterparts and with themselves as well.
It shows the highest form of character and integrity when a person is willing to own up to the mistakes and wrongs that they have committed in their pasts, in a repentant manner.
When we have the courage to admit our mistakes, we are also taking the courage of making a new way, realizing that the old ways in which we were doing things just weren't working for us.
Choose to live, admit when you are wrong, never fall victim to living in a box that contains you and doesn't allow you to be who you really are, or become who you want to become.
Pride can be a prison if you allow for it to be, a life lived in vain can actually be a life lived in chains, be courageous enough to say the things you need to say, and do the things that you need to do.
"I make mistakes, I know I'm not perfect. That's why I'm thankful for the true friends who stick by me knowing how I am"
Finally when the tides of life turn against you and the current upsets your boat  you have to choose between 
wasting those tears on what might have been, and lie on your back and float. while surrender to your destiny .. Those who try to do something and fail.. are infinitely better than those who try to do nothing and succeed.. i believe that Anything is possible but only for those who are willing to try.

burned bridges

Shame, Vanity, Arrogance or even our Indifference lead us wait until its too late to tell someone how much we love and how much we care,because when they're gone no matter how loud we shout and cry, they won't hear us anymore.. but after all, love is all about timing. If we don't say the right thing at the right moment no matter how much fate was involved in the relationship, everything will be ruined. Even if we regret it, it will be too late... never wait until realize you've burned the bridge to the greatest friend you have ever had because it will be far too late to rebuild it.

Art

Art is the imagination, which makes us realize the truth

in our times of need

Instead of walking in pride, and telling someone about what we know, and what we went through that may be similar to what they are going through, walk in love, peace, and understanding by just giving our ear to listen, a body to hug, and a shoulder to cry on.
Once we get over yourself, and get away from our own self righteousness, the people that we choose to listen to and understand will undoubtedly start to pour more of themselves into us more and more each time we are able to connect.
Though there is a time to give advice, much of building relationships with people has to do with the way that we are just there for them in their times of true need!
When we take time out of our own life and give of ourself by just being there and giving our ear, or shoulder to lean on, you will in turn have someone to be there for us in our times of need as well.

Move on

we think we can't move on, but the truth is every-time we get out of bed we are fighting, and we're slowly moving on. The key to overcoming the pain in our life is to realize that though pain is something that is inevitably a part of life, we have the choice of whether we are going to yelling in it and suffer, or move on from it, and do our best to let it go... In fact sometimes its very hard to move on. But once we move on. we'll realize it was the best decision we chose.. I can say If we love yourself we need to prove it by doing whatever it takes to make us happy with our own life... O, you know.. Sometimes all we have to do is erase the messages, delete the numbers, collecting what still remains who we truly are and move on.. in fact, life is too short to hold grudges, revenge or even regret .. Just ... move on.

Problems

A problem can be defined in numerous ways but in many meanings a problem is a question of how to reach a solution leaving those presented with the problem with feelings of doubt and uncertain times. Problems are something that we all face on a daily basis, the only difference being some of us face problems of extreme difficulty on a normal basis, while others face problems with a degree of lesser difficulty more normally. Either way it goes, a problem is a problem and we all must face them at some point in our lives.
Being able to solve a problem is one of the most necessary skills needed to succeed in your lifetime. Generally when we approach a problem in order to solve it, we must first have a clear understanding of the problem, then make a feasible plan to solve the problem, and lastly execute the plan to eliminate the problem... My dears; A lot of problems in the world would disappear if we talk to each other instead of about each other but don't question what you don't understand unless you're asking questions seeking to understand because being wise is not about how fast you can find a solution but how patiently you react to the problem itself.

Pride lead you nowhere

The most sensible person is the one who knows to put his pride in the pocket when he realizes he was wrong and is able to laugh at himself.. So, A simple apology could fix a friendship that shouldn't have ended in the first place. Don't let your pride stop you from doing what's right.

Marriage

Marriage is the formal union of a man and a woman, in which they become husband and wife. It is an institution which acknowledges or accepts relationship between people who get quite intimate and close to each other. Marriages get solemnized through a wedding ceremony or matrimony. When you get married to someone, you make a public declaration of commitment to that person. Marriages can survive the test of time and stretch to eternity if there is great faith, trust and understanding between the married couple. Dissolution of marriage is also allowed by certain cultures. This dissolution is known as a divorce which required settlement between the male and the female who decide to call it quits and part ways.
Enid Bagnold had once remarked, ..
“In marriage there are no manners to keep up, and beneath the wildest accusations no real criticism. Each is familiar with that ancient child in the other who may erupt again. We are not ridiculous to ourselves. We are ageless. That is the luxury of the wedding ring.”

difference between complete and finish

People say there is no difference between complete and finish. When you marry the right one, you are complete, and when you marry the wrong one, you are finished and when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are completely finished.

Close your eyes

Once,  the great "Helen Keller' said .. the best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart"
Yes dears life is full of many things, and many of the most important things in our lives stem from the things that we cant see with our natural eyes. Things like the choices that we are willing to make on a day-to-day basis, affect our lives greatly without us even seeing how. The way that we choose to dress may help us to gain recognition that we aren't even seeking consciously, or it may help to deter others from wanting to get to know us.
Other things in life that are very real to us that we can't see like love help to give our lives meaning on a day to day basis. Love makes us want to work harder in our everyday lives, love keeps us honest, and it helps us to think about the things that are actually important in life, instead of focusing on the parts of life that are solely negative.
Always remember the parts of life that make life real, because many times these are the things that we may feel, but that we cant see.

The future belongs to those who believe

The future only belongs to one group of people, and that is the group of people who not only have a dream, but a people who believe in the dreams that they have for them selves and for the world, and are willing to go out in the world at any cost to get their dreams. 
Following your dreams may seem as something out of a book of fairy tales for some, but the following of dreams is why many have seen success that will affect generations to come. To follow your dreams requires a boldness that not everyone will be able to master, not because it is impossible, but instead because they will choose not to. 
The future belongs to the go-getters of the world, the people who are willing to think for them selves, keeping in mind the major errors of mankind in history, and being willing to create from their own innovative ideas mixed with the productive wisdom of the past. 
We have to be willing to dare to make the dreams that are inside of us a reality. Doing so may mean that we have to tap into the greatness of others before us who are great examples of what following a dream may achieve. People like Walt Disney..
The future belongs to those with an undying fight in their hearts, an undying faith, both fused with a light of hope on the inside that if let out may be strong enough to provide light to the rest of the world. The future belongs to those who believe.

Choice is yours

In order to make things simpler in your life, you have to really become least obsessed with the things that stress you out, and work on your life daily, in an effort to make the best decisions for each day. As you continue to successfully make each day better than the last, choosing to make great decisions that are not only ambitious, but ethical and morally right as well, things will really start to get simpler. 
Everything that you put in you get out of life. If you put in honest, true passion every day that you live, that will be what you collect from life, almost without even trying. While the same is oppositely true if you are only willing to put negative thinking, and negative actions in your life. Thinking and acting the way that you need to will allow things to be as simple as you need them to be, or as difficult as you make them, the choice is yours.