My will.

I woke grudgingly, upon my thought. she woke me and had me taught. I found her questions, questionable. and my 'answers': unanswerable.
Why do we think ourselves kings yet, fear death like every kin.!!
Why do we hump our shoulders and consider not another's plights.!!
Why should we disturb the dead at the expense of the living..!
Why do we claim honour and wealth through and with things of horror..!
Why do we kill in order to heal.!
Why do we shed blood in order to flourish.!
What is life if we can't freely forgiveness.!
Why do we wait till heaven to make the earth a peaceful haven and truth unearthed.!
Who will touch the path of stars and ride on the wings of the wind.!
Who will taste death and come to life to live among men eternally.!
replying trials...
I ruminated on the expanse of my mind. my replies came in trickles,d ripping from the pinnacles of my thought..
Who am I to tell the dawn to wake, to yell the ice to be river, or even to tell the story of the dead.!
I know not the force behind the light, but i believe there is only one god, the path of heavens is not mine to fix but knowledge I will continue to seek, and my will will never break.. 

what you should know about Islam..001

.. And marry not women whom your fathers married,- except what is past: It was shameful and odious,- an abominable custom indeed,
Prohibited to you (For marriage) are:- Your mothers, daughters, sisters; father's sisters, Mother's sisters; brother's daughters, sister's daughters; foster-mothers (Who gave you suck), foster-sisters; your wives' mothers; your step-daughters under your guardianship, born of your wives to whom ye have gone in,- no prohibition if ye have not gone in;- (Those who have been) wives of your sons proceeding from your loins; and two sisters in wedlock at one and the same time, except for what is past; for Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful;

Secretly, silently... lovingly

looking at you from afar makes my heart race rabidly like my old tunning car.
Feeling your sweetly smiling makes me wanna feel like a child spent the day playing.
looking at your recognized face, when iys lightened by the sun makes me inbetween sad and happy yet indeed i wanna run.
Wishing to have a talk with you and confess my longing my true passion for you. but i know it couldn't be possible even smiling at your face is now becomes impossible.
seeing you talk so sweetly to another makes my heart breaks and it's continue to ache, i feel like a child want to cry but no tears come out, i do broke my heart.
i don't know how to stop liking you more and more everyday so as for now, I'll silently and secretly falling in love with you.

I'm not happy.

i just hope i can find my old me gain, 
i don't feel either sadness of joy, either love or hate and either pity or mercy but all i know now is
i am not happy and i' not sad..
I'm not okay to be alright and i lose my will to show the world how strong this has made another me.. someone i don't even accepted or used to be.
maybe that person becomes stronger than the original nothing can bring me down, can tell the storys or even paint a fake smiles but it's not me.
I'm not angry or vex, I'm not full with that your hate and tear doesn't want to come.. I'm hanging inbetween and the light ahead feel dem day by day.
I don't want your forgiveness and i don't want to live in your hatred either, I don't want your pity and your mercy should stay with you.
please don't pray for me anymore for i got a lesson with a highly price.. 
I needs to do silently what i decided to do, for i used to walk alone blind, 
today I'm not sad, today is my revolution day against this person reflection his shadow in my old mirror.
today I'm not sad, but I also not happy.

Pray for me..!

Walk with me under the bright blue sky, Walk with me under the rain, so I can without hiding, besides you... cry, so I can with you forget the pain.
Walk with me, but hold my hand
Walk with me and hold me tight
Because then ill help you to understand, because then you’ll realize what’s right.
Walk with me, well forever move on
Walk with me and never stop
Help me forget the days that are gone
Help me, with you to reach the top
Walk with me and together we shall be
Walk with me and look into my eyes
Walk with me and tell me
That You walked with me to say you love me.

Torn apart

Where was I, when..., 
when I was losing every part of me.!
When fire was raging deep inside of me.!
When flowers will depend amongst the trees.!
Who and where will i be.!!
How does it feel,
when you burn in others desires.!
When you do everyting the others admire.!
When you scream from your heart as if you have never screamed before and your beloved called you a lair.!
i can guess how it feels to be torn apart.. apart from all that made me whole. 

just dreaming

I’m dreaming of a new, dreaming for the beginning, dreaming for the truth, waiting to start winning.
Dreaming all of you, Dreaming of your dreams,
Dreaming of the passion, joping for compassion.
I still need to see, ehy you're complete with or without me, still need to feel what’s hurting inside me, or just wanting to be set free.
Dreaming of the one, dreaming of the answers, dreaming of her wonders, why she makes me feel fonder.!!
Dreaming of why I feel alone, dreaming for my soul to be directed, dreaming of me having your heart again and forever as you’d have mine to be protected.
I need you to carry me, my heart is like a star that’s gleaming, I want you to know we should be
God only if I wasn’t dreaming.

Sensitive souls

I opened my eyes and seen lonely things, at a moment, my merry heart shall fade as I watched the sad days people have made.
They are happy for the pain it brings, it’s like a bird with an injured wings. it’s my secret place where anger and wrath were length.
My God why the joy is like a precious broken jade; conquered by cruelty while old bell rings.
But then I took a moment of silence and thinking; here came a night sublime to join the selfish happiness without her wings.. O no, and I smiled as I heard the chords of chime from despair, I understood it better... maybe anger and wrath rule at a time, but love and humbleness reign forever, and will always at night spreading forgiveness wings.

family Dog.

You expect me to get on my knees and I do,
You expect me to adore you and I do,
I'll give you what you want,
I'll even stay hidden so you can shine,
I'll always obey you as much as I'll always love you but forget not how to respect your man.

So simple life.

Though life would never be the same again, we continue to believe in the choice of the game.
We spend years deceiving the forces of time to learn nothing is permanent than the wheel of time.
As the world grows bigger and bigger, we also begin to feel smaller and smaller.
Brought to the knees by the fleetingness of time we understand life is about balancing the blade of black and white.
Though things do crumble, fall, and break apart, the best laid plans are being laughed at.. and the hands of time do run out of sync. life remains but a series of new beginnings.. of blind steps into the unknown happenings.
Though things occur beyond a measure of control and the changes ensuring in the blink of the eyes. 
haunting and clouding our future lives so we move on waiting for the next morning.. knowing only for sure that the sun will rise again.
Somehow we believe there is a plan laid out for us even in this state of neverending flux.
So believe in some divine order within our lives for if we don't, what other reason but love, Would we live.!!

in the middle of the fire.

Do you dare to dream to conform your heart's yearning.!!
Can you risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, or may be just for the adventure of being alive.!
Have you ever touched the center of your own sorrow.!
Have you become wizen and closed from fear of further pain.!
Have you become wise and opened by life's betrayals.!
Can you dance in joy.. yours, and mine, not cautioning not being realistic, not remembering the limitations.
Can you live with failure, with being a stranger and still stand at the edge of a cliff and shout below.. yes .!!!
Can you get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone and yet do wha tneeds to be done?.!
Will you stand in the center of the fire with me and not shriveling back!!!
I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.
I want to know the you nobody knew.!

I forget how to feel..

when I'll sense the touch of your hands, the clasp of your fingers, the circling of your thumb... i forget how to feel.
when i remember the naked search of your eyesb, eholding my vision discerning my innerself... i forget how to see.
when I'll hear the raspiness of your voice, the drawl of your tongue, the drone of your breath... i forget how to breathe
but when i close my eyes everyday there stands the perect mirage of an angel and i hear the heart rhyme into a warble.. O, i feel the flow pulsating to your temple calling me to pray, and when i smile i know i am missing the original you.. stay blessed my queen.

into the open sea..

I can hear she calling, calling of the beautiful sea.
I can feel the salt water rising, rising through my veins.
I can see the gate opening an inlet to my lovely heart.
I can smell the perfume so fresh.. fresh like the sea.
I can feel the yellow grains, grains of sands at the feet.
I can feel the melody of the tides, the fluid melody of the heartbeat.
I can feel the rhythmic song, the songs flowing like the waves.
I can feel the sunrays warming, warming the inside of me through you.
I can feel the orange sunset smiling, smiling on my blushing cheeks.
For when I set sail to the open sea beyond the horizon I plan to be.
Just a few months maybe weeks to go and I shall be there at the shore.
the coast is calling and I barely can keep waiting

Thank you

You make me a writer, write love songs in my mind, exploring each and every edges of passion in my heart.
You make me a trader of your own expression for a smile, I trade it with compassion until i become recognized.
So, this is for you, hope you know that I'm thankful for you.

Time goes by..

Days and days go by with the hour so lonely, dark and gray is the sky and daydreams cyclically; we have to give and try what it's worth in effort, before we say goodbye fore all is to be revert.
Just like a summer gone that shun for a while,Times and times are a bon given or taken in life's aisles.
What does that then say in meanings or otherwise, maybe just words in play with an end fully surprise.
Years and years to twist before they run to end, moments we have missed, joy and sorrow in blend; the task is to have peace in each of your doing then, a dream one uniquely sees... or over and over again.

sleepy goodnight

I ran out the door and opened the stairs, Sat upon my books and read on my chair.
I closed you and thought about my sight all because you in my dream, kissed me goodnight
I got off on my teeth and brushed my bed, chomped up my milk and sipped my bread
I fixed my step and took myself, no means of signs, no use of mines... all because you in my dream kissed me goodnight.
I knocked on your bell and rang on the flap, the house lets my hand and you took me park.
My eyes were on me and yours were on you, I have my hands on your shoulder and yours on my waist.. The warmth of our lips is just to be bloomed, O, my god! 
you have kissed me goodnight

journey not a story in a book

It's not what we say, it's the things we do, that makes someone feel confident in us. Nice words all of us like to hear. But actions speak louder than words I fear. 
Words, how easy they are to say. For some, it's all they can show. As for me, I prefer the silent type,
by their actions, they're sure to let us know. Those of you, who feel listening to nice words is quite important for at some point, I'd have to agree. However, to be able to show how I feel by my actions, well now... that speaks louder to me.!
for journey is not only a story in a book, it's steps we started to take, risky hardly but full of faith.

What is happiness.!!

Happiness is finding home again,
Happiness is walking in the rain.
Happiness is waking with no pain.
Happiness to see my humble home,
Happiness at not being alone,
Happiness to sit, and not to roam.
Happiness is family to me,
Happiness in the faces, I longed to see,
Happiness is once more together being free.

After a kiss goodnight

If you only know what’s in my heart; you won’t stare at me this way for you’ll know all the answers why I am tearing apart.!!
If you only know that I love you; you won’t hate me anyway for you’ll be bright to understand why
I am keeping a distance between me and you.
If you only know that I do care for you; You won’t judge me this way for you’ll be able to recognize why on silence I am doing everything to help you glow.
If you only know, how I am yearning for only your love, for your care. O, god 
If you only know that I am vanishing every time you denied all these things to me that I am just faking, all the smiles you can glimpse in me.
If you only know all, what is behind in those paints words, you might regret of knowing for you would hate yourself why not showing, that you are the one causing me all this pains.
Nevertheless, with all these troubles, I still do love you, love the way nobody can do, Praying for you, only for you and my kids.. and I don’t keep any revulsion in my heart.
That I am always have a kindness of forgiving and for your love, I am still longing until what.!! until the last breathe of my life.
If you only know my dear love one's.. 

What about what I want..!

I want to be free from all the worries I have in life.. free from the pains and heart aches of my past strife... free from the cage I lived for a long, long time.
I want to be with you in the magical sky, hold each others hand and together we will fly, we will see the world in beauty in the mountains high.
I want to be with you not side by side but embracing you with my both arms, so tight and holding you endlessly, all throughout day and night.
I want to feel every heart beat you have, my love to hear every words you long to whisper, like a dove, to utter the words of my soul, that screams into my heart.
I want to see your face and paint it in my mind, engrave every detail in my tender heart for I need to remember you when my soul departs.
I want to undress myself from all hesitations, forget everything, even myself and my institution just to be with you sacrificing all my ambitions.
Because this is how I love you, 
I love you with all my heart,
I love you till the end of time.
:
Special request to feed your soul tonight.