I am walking in darkness, even though there is Sun, I am stuck in my tracks, when I am trying to run.... Just the thought of loneliness.. and I am undone.
I write these words, with sadness ripping me apart, Laughter is on my lips, but tears are on my heart... You see, I feel, oh so very much alone, And this feeling goes straight to the core.. to the bone.
For I am surrounded by people who are laughing with me and I hide from them, with plain smiles they can see the simplest of masks, that hides me so well
The purest of disguises, so easy to sell
I am a creature born to help those around me but deep down inside, I face my struggles solitary, Filled with self doubt, with uncertainty
Who Do I turn, when I can't trust me.. I mean, look at this way, look at how I can see it... !!
Who can I trust, if I can't trust my own shit..!
Who can carry me, if I can't walk on my own feet..!
Who else could fulfill such an undaunted feat.!!
So I wipe them away, each and every little tear, Each want, each worry, each misplaced fear
And I trudge on, where fake smiles are founded, Wholly, sorrowfully, and completely alone, yet surrounded.
Right now the mind is blank,
right now have an empty heart;my dreams pause at a wasted bank,
then words flow without a path... Fragile as the paper boats,they float
with short lived glee; knowing fully, death's a truth and awaits them constantly.
Yet... We couldn't complain
When ego declines, your heart's insistence; love, converse in silence..
When words cease to exist and mind repudiates; love, converse in silence..
When each word you say is always held against; love, converse in silence..
When asked to quit the game far worse, you couldn't complain; love's too terse with silence.!
The wounds began to build up, quicker than I had thought The pain began to amplify, from the lies others had wrought.
I sit alone, in my room, thinking about my life, Backing away, taking a look, at this world of strife.
I lean back in my chair, letting a deep sigh escape, Hearing all those lies replayed on an endless tape
My father telling me about the miracles of fate, How I was a mistake, There was no love, only hate... My whole life has been one wound after another, No matter how much I looked, I couldn't find even a single soul brother.
No one to help me through all my suffering an pain, No one to keep my dry through this world of rain.
So, I sit up here in my room, afraid of the light, Switching it off, not sure how much longer I can fight, Alone in this world, wanting to be set free... Wondering, if anyone in this world would miss me.
And then,
I think I make my decision, To plunge into the dark world of sin, I finger the tip of a blade, wondering if I should cause a flood to cut into my wrists, open them up and see the blood... or I could just as easily throw the throttle, drive to fast, or take all the pills in the bottle... Could drift away so soft and quiet, Would my passing even cause the smallest of a riot, I can feel the tightening of this world's noose, Tightening around my throat, not letting me loose
I can feel the darkness closing in around me, Blotting out my vision, I don't think I can see... Is this death, is this what it feels like to die?
I don't know what I am doing, I don't know why?
Why did I choose to end it all instead of living?
Now that I am dead, What I am giving?
All those people that i Had let down?
Just because I let my troubles wash me up and I drowned in the sea of my own transgression, When I realize now, I had my own mission... There are people out there, that need me, people who looked at me as their only key.
Then,
with a gasp, I rise from my sleep, I had been lost, in the world so deep, My unconscious mind had tried to tell.. That if I ended it all, My world would be hell
Even if my whole family tries to destroy, All that i Have built, There is still someone out there, who looks up and sees, A person they can trust, perhaps a hero in me...
So for all of you, who want to end it, who wish to go bye
Think of all that you are leaving behind before you die
Think of your friends, I am sure you have one.
Think of your unborn children, your future daughter or son
Think of the memories you are throwing away
Because you can't hang on for just another day
I know I know, no one knows what you feel, No one has been what you have been through, don't know what is real... Trust me on this, you are completely wrong ?
If you think you are alone, you are singing a false song, You are not alone, other have been where you are, Others have felt worse pain, and have worse scars
And they can live and fight and strive for more, Keep on trucking no matter how sore, Pick themselves up when knocked to the floor because they love memories and just want more.
But this isn't a plea for you to not die.. This is a plea, for you to ask why ?
Instead of looking to the bad looking to the night, To stop dwelling on the dark, and live in the light... Because if you weigh the good with the bad, and look at these things without getting mad, You'll understand that the twenty, forty or less years that are past you, are filled with many fears,
But also, somewhere, there is happiness and joy, So turn up your head, You girl, or you Boy ... And remember all those around you that mean something to you, they love you... and you aren't a toy.
And they, they are the reason you need to keep hold on, move on, carry on and .. and never ever give up.
There's nothing to see here, The streets are all clear, Nothing but fear, If only you could be near, I return to those few yesteryear, To think of what I must held dear,
And here is another dead end, another closed door, no way in, and nothing to explore, There's nothing inside me any more, I'm not what it is you are looking for... There is nothing left here.
Nothing lives here any more, just apathy, I feel no joy like before, nor sympathy, No music echoes to write my symphony, The streets are all .... empty.
I..
Gotta squash the fear
Gotta make it clear
Gotta dream a way
Today... Is the sound of emptiness, and I'm alone in the darkness, there's nothing inside, I just wanna close my eyes and hide, Pretend I'm not crying and dying inside.
No wonder my thought bring nothing but rain, And no wonder I gave all my world nothing but pain, I've got nothing inside of me left to share
There's nothing left in there, I lost the best of me behind, The flame that had once burned so bright, today became the ashes of my mind.
If you think that you are sane, you should know that life is pain.
And in that pain we have to choose, most of us seem to lose.
but what it is most of us don't see, is that life brings nothing kind to me.
All I feel day by day, as my stability fades away... is that my life is a death in agony.
If i could be what you want me to be,
If i look the way you want me to look,
If i act the way you want me to act, would you fall in love with me as we used to be..?
Don't change me but change the world around you, for there comes a time in our lives when we have to say no, A time we have to let our own opinion and thoughts to show.
say what you need to say, and do what you need to do, and finally we may change the world.. but don't let it change "We".
I've focused my mind on false game, my brain knows this and shrinks in shame,
Into the light we aim ourselves away from darkness we swear but i guess too much light in once's manner won't vanish this darkness without blame.
And that is the fact my dear.. we were alone when we into this life arrive and alone we must sooner leave, no more ego, vanity, or any bad deeds, just we and dust under Autumn leaves.
To becoming who we want to be it takes more then words.
But as we all know, in reality, It usually starts and ends out of borders
To insure that is doesn't happen, you should have the ability to change
And get ready for what life will bring, for in the book of life
we're definitely not on the same book page... The only difference between you and a child is a difference in age.
You live life and care for what's in front of your eyes.
You act with honesty and never give up hope or waiting for financial surprise.
Life is expensive we agree on that much, but that is all,
It'll watch your rise to 'responsbility, and with ageing it'll watch your fall.
Do you see things as we all do ?
Trying to prove yourself, but to who ?
Are you worried about what we think of you ?
You're insecure about yourself, but who knew ?
You play your part as the alpha male,In the end it's an empty role and you always fails, from ignorance you start ending like a fool..!
Break down your ego to allow for change, Trying to be reasonable drive you insane, With foolish pride comes foolish pain. Yes I'm needing your help to endure the game.
Life is unpredictable immeasurable living, life is unmistakable indescribable to someone still unnoticeable with "who"
So, everything is good, he denying giving up and still hoping for getting through.
Some people will talk about love, but they never cared.
There wasn't a single moment of real love they had shared.
People don't realize how little they know, Ignorant to every emotion he couldn't come out and show.
There is so much more to this man then meets the eye, A close few see it in him, most others never even tried.
He liked soccer, he could be on the pitch everyday...
look at how his time alone was spent.. Listening to music, busy reading and writing in his room by himself yet he never ever pretend.
Thinking all alone at night, going through his doubts in hopeless fight.
Too much of good things my be bad, I got my share of things wasn't glad
Through all the ups, all the downs some will be there, some can't be found.
If they won't care as they should, so be.. For this is life in the way that I need to see it.
You can give your all, or you can try not but when they decide to leave, what have you got.?
I builds it up, then it breaks away.... This is life in the way I see it today.
Days come and go, true hearts stay close not like ghost... Without happiness, love is an imitation at most.
It's hard to translate one's feelings into speech, It takes time to overcome the obstacles we meet.
Don't let me live life scared of what my words will bring,
Even if i fail, at least you attempted to do something.
In this life I would rather fail everyday, and tell my stories of the one's that burning bridges just for getting away.. O
Wait I'm still having a wish, When I die, carry out my final wish.
Bury me beneath the soil, away from all of this.
The want for love, the need for your company.
Bury me far from it, when my breath has left me.
Never to be reminded of this terrible place,
I've tried to called it home but it's really just empty space.
That marble floors and gilded walls can never make a home.
But every house where Love abides and Friendship is a guest,
Is surely home, and home sweet home for there the heart can rest in that very special place called memories nest.
When hope and dreams all fade away, distrust and suspicion settles in to stay,
Depression creeps in like a dark cloud, Completely engulfing you in a black shroud.
deep inside of you there is a tiny spark, of hope eternal, trust, and faith vanishes slowly all the dark.
"It is best to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation" .. but;
If you pay love to where love is due and to your own higher self try to remain true,
If you treat everyone as an equal and all as the same, Your's ought to live on as a remembered name.
If for everyone you believe on a 'fair go', and despite their race or creed due, respect to them show and never ruin anyone's character with malicious lies, Above the ordinary you are one who does seem to rise.
If you unlike many not addicted to vanity or greed and try to help those of help who are in need.. And of your own Human flaws you do feel aware to say the least people like you are quite rare.
If you do believe in the live and let live and you are not too proud to receive and generous enough for a true love to give, And respect to the rights of all others you pay... Then as a person you are doing quite okay.
Love isn't long distance... Love is never far, From where I am and always where you are
You take my love with you and leave your love behind, With lots of loving thoughts that linger in my mind
Love may come and go but somehow stays around, To always lift you up when you are feeling down
Love can't be measured and it's a well known fact, That the more love you give... More love you should get back
But if love were long distance then how to find
Love that is as sweet, Just like yours when you are mine!
Sometimes Lakes freeze over, Sometimes minds do too but my feelings is too soft
My heart is too warm to ever be frozen with you.
We give and we take and with love we do make, The most of a few precious hours while our love blossoms forever, Like the earth giving birth to a field of beautiful flowers
And while our minds are in line and love's on our hearts so... blind
I wish I could find in sweet moments like these.. A magical way to freeze the time.
My home based on love, patients, honesty, and sincerity surround them whole Slowly, slowly as snail reach my goal, your game made by cheating and soon you will win then... we will fall,
keep your pride, your vanity, you silence, stay pretending, kill all the birds.. shot, shot with no rule,
My goal is loving ones being mate with my soul, not a queen of wax living in a dream of sand mixed with gall,
congratulation..... for our fall, now you will get what you pay for
In this world we go threw test, not to see who is the one, or who is the
best. Life isn't some game we play on a chess board or hit hint when
we don't know its meant to be designed to challenge our soul to become
this what we are and what we know.
I need to tell you that there is a
saying after death is eternal it means sacrifice all that we have and
work hard and do good unto others and so then when death comes it come
with our internal life of everlasting.
The moon accompanies me every night, Witnessing along hours of struggling
To get some sleep and shut my mind losing delight, convincing myself that I'll always be forgetting.
If disappointment was my destiny or it's for my best why my mind never got rest
So I lay in bed least expecting to sleep, A mind so confused I was never at ease
What is it that I'm trying to achieve, an impossible dreams or a new life i shall believe.
a million words fight, through all the night... maybe I'm waiting the dawn at that first light.
Life Begins from no total understanding... to a full stupidity
In life there is so many twists and turns, we never know whats going to happen next, So we keep our head up and keep trying in a stupid race called living
yet in this world few can make it, but a lot of us always fail to understand how to make they dreams come true or even how it works at first place,
So we work hard to achieve our goals, we set them high, and waiting in the cloud to watch them vanish with the wind.
