I miss you..

Once, long ago a very wise person told me that you can't miss something you never had.
I had told you wrong, But you pursued on saying I was a fool.
You left me to face the world alone... And I went on, living off my tears and breathing my sobs, but I was too stubborn to realize the truth in front of me.
I missed the feel of your lips on mine, although you never kissed me
I missed the sound of your snores when you feel asleep but I have never seen you asleep
I missed it when you wiped away my tears yet you have never comforted me
I missed feeling weightless when you swept me off my feet even though we never once embraced.
Once, you told me
That you can't miss something you never had but ever since you've been gone... I've realized the truth:
I missed the love that we shared even though it didn't exist... And that's the truth... So why do I feel like I've had it all along ?
You can't miss something you never had then why do I miss you?

Which is worse

To love as a monster

Or hate as a good human

Obstacle

Didn't you know that, no matter how we may feel or what may come our way, we'll keep on moving forward with each and every day.
Aren't we searching for a new life hoping for a change, wishing for a miracle to stop feeling like we're strange.
Aren't we accept to taking up the challenge and breaking every mound, keeping our moments striving and to be bold.
didn't you know that, no matter what we may see or where the road may lead, We'll keep on progress with every noble deed.
Aren't we building for the future and fighting only for to find some peace, dreaming of a new dawn for release.
didn't you know that no matter where we end up or how the world may end, we'll keep on getting better with each new obstacle and bend.
Aren't we standing at the bind waiting for our turn, planning for the new world to sharing all we learn.
Now listen... No matter who we become or when the day will be, we'll keep on making changes with every chance we see.
didn't you know that, when trust is lost, we'll pay a high cost, 
didn't you know that this heart is beating for you, and to love you must bow.

Stay .. it's my birthday

Please... stay calm, safe and in my sight for you cannot leave my side tonight,
didn't you know that without you I have no hope and here alone I cannot cope.
Please.. stay soft, warm and in my heart we cannot fall or drift apart for without you there is no me and nothing left for us to be.
please. stay young, strong and ever bright for I cannot live without your light,
didn't you know that without you there is no home and ever more my heart will beating or roam. 

Storm in my head

Am I darkness looking for rare kind in shadows roam and only maze is what I can find, am I digging through my weakened mind, leaving nothing... safe behind, Storm clouds darkening with dread... hanging here above my head,
Hiding from the skies once we’ve fled... floating on the fear they’re fed.
deceiving visions serving for free in a dreamless void that's all I can see,
Hollow point, hollow shell that once was me... Alone, and forever more... to be.

unfair

Hope and promise fill the air.... A healing feeling to light the sky,
With dreams and plans for days ahead... future waits for you and I. 
Woman in silent beneath my mind playing games unfair, and between love and dignity she always there..

World I couldn't change.

I've walked a line that no one else could, far from the eyes that watch all we do, to find tranquility in this fake world, far from the life where we weren't bold.
I've walked alone on this old misty road, far from my hopes and the dreams that you've sold, to find a place that I can call it home, Far from the lies that you have been told.
I've walked for miles on this old road, far from the hate and the fighting of old, just to find a dream that I pray to keep, far from the bed that once left so cold.
I've walked for days just searching for me, far from the smiles and those tears cried in vain, to find a heart that I can trade for mine, far from your words and the grip of my pain.
I've walked this life on the beat of my heart, far from the secrets and horrors I've seen, to find a moment of peace in the light, far from the darkness of all that has been.
I've walked this way to the end of my days, far from the people that think my soul strange, to find a way back to where hope was lost, far from the thoughts of a world I couldn't change

Dear love

Dear love; didn't you see, a grain of sand knows not its worth upon the lands across this mortal Earth, yet every grain is paramount to mark each seconds passing count, and when the grains have ceased to fall the sands of time engulf us all. 
Dear love; let us celebrate our day with the truth in all the things you say, that smile that shows the best of you... The hope that ever sees you through, let us think of all you've done, the journey that you have prohibiting me to begun, the joy in togetherness we lose and the immortal love you bring us all, the faith that keeps me and you standing tall.
Dear love; let us  join our hands and pray, with a tender kiss, with a grateful bless in our misty way, with gifts no mortal man could find, for one so treasured by her kind.

When I look at you

Deep where longing flow, where darkness fold wings and dreams fight for to glow, I see an endless universe .... in your eyes
Infinite has an end, unimaginable tender love need to mend, that I could touch every day even when i was blend,  
Deep where our sanctuary sits beneath the flesh, we feel a consuming loneliness
a soft hunger, a quiet thirst, an invisible erosion feeds on our feelings silently.
Yes... our lips are silent but they still whisper the willing of our desire and our pulsing of passion
Deep when our hearts lost some beats, when our bodies started to emits heat that will inflame the whole forbidden empire ... we start to taste the fire.
Deep in our veins ... there is no loss of love, loss of people, loss of trust or loss of belief... there is only "We" with all it's meanings, with renewable feelings.
Deep beneath our wounds, I hear the music of your beating heart, inking the most beautiful lyrics " look at me we will never apart"
Deep there... we pray to find the right way, to whisper like thunder, to fold our dreams to step away from anger, and ...
even the rain was our tears, we promise with no fears... to dance under the rain, 
Deep where longing flow, where darkness fold wings and dreams fight for to glow, I see an endless universe .... in your eyes

Till the end

Break the glass of your lies, be true.. be above,
Let the heart bleed... bleed the blood of love,
Taste the real wine of passion swinging in your vein,
with your inner-self, with your soul, come touch my skin
And I will write our story, with your silent ink
Read... read the words till the end, 
All the wounds, all the pain... only you can mend.

The spark..

Such a simple spark that ignites in our being, like the moment we realize that we got things to do,
The determination that we begin to trust, leads the road that we lost,
The bigger picture from a little one,
The very little thing that helps us to be,
The satisfying victory in which we've won true love,
The little but big spark that ignites in our being when a glance passes before our souls, the fragrance of the beloved is smelled

let me spin our soul in our heart

Life awakening when our soul giving, In every touch it landing with forgiving,
Trust our soul when it tells how this love can saving,  
Inside our heart there is a humming souls, Torment and spinning,
Asking, wondering... with this feelings where we are going.
Should I spin a coin to decide where to go,
If you doubt on your heart, take mine and I'll lay my trust on you,
For you to believe, for you to be never alone, 
with you... Even the sky is still blue, and If I never knew
Thousands stars still for you, the same stars at midnight. still shine you in daylight... with hopes around with you
Should I spin time in a clock, enough to tell you, our life just so short, Though hardness make it feels long
Life made of choices and chances, impossible if nothing hurts us, but the healers scattered more.. So whenever you have to decide
let me spin our soul in our heart... and our mind will tell us one day,
" what is the hell we do to this love"

Fog..

Day and night, exchanging darkness with light... The Fog defeat both Moon cry the stars, Sun deny the bright.. Both are alone and lonely, in this rainy hard journey,
as clouds covered the skies, and fog blind the eyes
The mist of love that flows in the air, Is felt in the heart if truly cares
And though only a fleeting chance, Still it was a great and fine romance,
Our love is fragile like the wind that blows, Streams of tenderness on the river that flows
As quiet connection still whispering softly, Across the fields and near the trees
They fight against this sudden end, as doubts emerge what cannot be mend.
And beneath time they lost, the repentance to this heart that they adore, An aching reality that ... our love is forever more.

Sad story

She thought he was a knight coming from the ages of ignorance, he thought she was a geek coming from the clan of deception, and they were both wrong... losing the melody of them precious song, dear feelings shed, pain hurt the body with shame in them head, craving for mercy... crying in bed,  
If life wasn't a sad story, why they got birth crying, and after so long journey they just dying,

She thought he was a knight coming from era of loyalty, he thought she was princess of modesty coming from royal love story, and they were both right... play away the melody of them precious song, dear feelings shed, longing hurt the body before even touched the head, craving for mercy... willingly in bed,  
If life is a love story, how we will share it before get dying,

See it's up to you, life is just the choices we take through the road, no matter if we were silent or shouting so loud, it's not craving for career, or jumping high barrier.. it was, is and will always be just love, because where there is love, life exist.. she isn't perfect, he also isn't perfect yet true love is two imperfect persons refuse to giving up on each others. 

nbmsdell@secmail.pro

Slaughters me till the bones

When the morning beam, gone.. letting me share the endless nights with hopeless dream, to come on,
When shall this silent of sense be cast, this dust of thoughts be laid at last, 
When the man of flesh and soul be slain, and the man of bones remain 
When this heart starts talk, these lungs painfully shout, asking me what is this humming brain think about, 
When we're proud and in power, hopping not for a lifetime.. just for togetherness even for little hour, we will tenderly seed the birth.. maybe not forever but at least it should last as long as earth.
When i send my angels into the west, to know where, when and even how my soul can't get rest
When I'll lie down in that cold... bed of dust; do you can bring our eternal seed to light, only then both bear we must, for all the morning will be the same as night,
When we flesh and soul still strong, why shall we suffer as a slaves so long, and before the fire of our sense decay, why can't we just blow the dust and clean it away.
When inside this beating heart you live alone, why you slaughters me till the bones.

Love me in silence

Maybe your true identity is what you fear, may be also it's beyond compare,
Maybe I told you the truth you denied to accept and refused to pare,
but still as you are think, still i feels, commitment and for Athens journey I'm getting prepare,
and while I truly love you, hurting me deeply becomes beyond repair.
Blind not in the eyes, it's those who can't see with them heart,
Distance my separates us, but you know, we aren't apart.
For you love me in silence, and i do see this as an art,

Shoo.. forget you

Shoo.. forget you, abandon you, neglect your feelings... we are a thousand miles away from those words. It is impossible for my heart to lean and love another one in this earth or another.
I'm sleepless, suffering from distance, 
I never asked you to show your love, to let me know in you care,
I'm not even willing to let you be fair,
I may forget your sins towards me, I may forget how you humiliating my dignity, but to forget you.. No I'm sorry I can't
Our love story has it's unforgettable unique memories, It's the days while i truly felt with my heart beats, It's the days which contain dreams came true and dreams still awaiting to come true.
My life before you appeared you owned a long ago, even the rest of my life still waiting your existence to be yours.
years passed as seconds in our love story, with all it's ups and downs,  all the sweet passions were visible even in our adversaries.
And you say, I will forget you, How .. while even we are sad, even we are in distance I love you more than yesterday.

Yes.. May be I'm sad, mad... may be I failed to be everything you hopped for, but in our story, 

separation, abandon, or even forget about each other's... not an options,

Theater

Life is a big theater, there are the actors, compars and directors...  Assistants and even producers.
Everyone needs a spirit of creativity, Everyone works to achieve a goal... But what makes successful work are the spirit of teamwork and a worthwhile story.
If you occupy one of these roles with no doubt you are creative .. If not .. don't regret, bring a chair and come sit next to me and let us enjoy the show, for only us whom paid for the tickets.

The time to honor yourselves ends soon

To family,
He who said "Love is like war" wasn't know what love is, for history teaches me that in any ordinary life parents die and their sons bury them but in war parents live to bury their children, whichever war it was.

To readers,
If you want quick happiness... avenge,
If you want endless happiness... you must learn to forgive.

To you,
Between the calmness of the night and the tranquility of the soul I find the bliss of life .. And by your virtue I learned that in silence also there is a life ... And between calmness, tranquility and silence there are endless details will not be realized by anyone else but us.

Cruelty does not make men. As humiliation does not make heroes

it is a lesson that everyone should learn, must be given before an expected return.
it is something that isn't given for free, it is about us and never about me
it is the basis on which relationships are founded, it is the anchor that keeps a person well grounded, it builds the character and defines who we are, sets the standard and raises us from afar... respect, respect
Everyone expects respect no matter who they are,
The only way to gain it is to start treating everyone not as part of our extended family but as we  expect them to respect us, no matter what color or creed, beliefs or race they are for only then you will start to get the respect you so dearly crave.