Women Suffering,

The last time I talked to you, You were sweet, nice, caring, And you didn't put your hands on me.
Friday was different. That sweet innocent act tricked me into thinking you changed.
But silly me You not only didn't change. 
You got worse.
You didn't care about my feelings,
You only cared about your self.
You didn't care what your friends thought,
Because you knew they were scared of you too. You knew they wouldn't stand up and defend me. I was and I am stupid to think you could have ever changed.
You hit me because I wouldn't kiss you.
You bit me because you said I didn't care. 
You pulled a knife on me because I asked you to stop.
You blamed me that our relationship didn't last.
I didn't care about you, you kept yelling at me. I couldn't explain or defend my self about what happened last year because i new you would lash if i said one word.
You held my face and yelled at me to look at you. I couldn't, I was to scared.
You called me fool, you hit me again.
You grabbed me close, I begged you to stop.
You told me you wanted to spend the night,
That it was time I lost my V-Card. I told you, you couldn't and you pushed me away.
You grabbed me again and asked me
why i didn't love you like you love me. I looked away and didn't answer.
You hit me again. I told you because you were rude to me,
and you replied how. My mouth dropped, he thinks this is all a joke.
You grabbed my body and told me to kiss you.
I told you i couldn't, it wasn't fair for the both of us,
and now i have your fingerprints on my body, and stab holes in my walls.

I cant get over something that happened Friday night.
Something inside me cant move on.
I'm not mad about what you said or did to me.
and now that I think about it,
I was scared of you that night and still am.
I'm mad inside because I'm scared of you. 
I'm not scared of anyone in this world,
and now I realize today that I'm scared of you, and only you...

I wanted to believe that everything that happened last year,
All the abuse, and hurtful words were all a lie,
And never happened. I wanted to believe that you could be a better person, and that you could have changed. But silly little me was wrong, And i have the marks to prove.

Not Just A Teacher, But A Friend

I had no where to turn, had no where to go.
this is just something I think you need to know
I don't know what made me trust you
I still remember the day when I told you what I've been through
I thought I should run away, go hide in a hole
but then you really brought out my true soul
As each day grew longer
our trust became stronger
each time I wanted to cry
you stayed there right by my side
i thought, that our trust would slowly fade
but I was wrong, we are still strong
even though sometimes you don't have time
you at least ask me if I am fine
even though sometimes I am not
I feel like I have just been shot
I smile and say yes I'm alright
then I walk away and your out of sight
I'll just have to wait, I still have my fate
I am so glad

Me, Mine and I ..!!!

No one will ever know how I feel. 
For I cannot even explain it all.
Nobody to love. 
Nobody to blame. 
Everyone always the same.
Nothing to care about. 
No reason to lie. 
For I am me, myself, and I.
No ones sees what I see. 
Nobody left to care for me.
It's kind of sad knowing what's true, cause then you know who's there for you.
Most of them just put on that act. 
A lot of them talk bad about me behind my back.
Thanks for making me feel this way, there's nothing more I should have to say.
All the times I was alone, makes me feel weird when someone's home.
No family for support, no friends to care. 
People wonder why I don't go anywhere.
Every night crying myself to sleep, sometimes I wish someone loved me.
No hope, no love, no life, no friends the pain never ends.
Sometimes I ask what did I do to deserve this. 
But nobody answers.
A voice in my head tells me to forget the bad and remember good.
But then I answer to myself saying there is no good to remember. 
I always yell at myself asking why me? why? 
Sitting in a empty spare room.
No one to talk to about how I feel. 
No one to ask me what I feel.
Is anyone out there in this harsh world we live in? 
Sometimes I begin to wonder.
Sometimes I'm harsh on myself. 
Morn comes and I wake up wishing I was never born. 
Please help others, because today's lives our being taken out of this world just as easy as they are coming in. 
You can change someone's life. 
Make a change. 
It's a tough world.

How It Used To Be

I remember how it used to be
when nothing else matter but you and me
music, country roads, and future dreams.
I miss you, I wish you could see
although you are here, I miss you and me.
I remember when you said how happy I made you
and you really meant it...now, it's just a phrase
you say without thinking.
I miss those days when you'd call just to say "hi"
or "I love you"...the days it was so hard
just to say good-bye for a while.
I remember how wonderful it felt the first time
you held me in your arms-and how after all those
years you still made my heart melt.
I miss the old you- and the old me
The old us that could just sit and talk for hours
and never run out of things to say.
I remember when time simply stood still-
when in each other's arms is the only place
we wanted to be...forever.
I miss us as I remember how it used to be...
when nothing else matter but you and me.

Wind Walker

Across from the mountains, A little house sits in the tree's,
I'm lost in tranquility, As my soul tries to breath.
White clouds moving slowly, The breeze a calm still,
I'm caught in the moment, As my heart starts to heal.
A piece of me, In the startling blue sky, As I spread my wings,
My soul starts to fly.
I fly to unknown places, Where pain and hurt once dwelled,
As the memories flow pass me, My eyes start to swell.
Tear drops drip slowly, Down my cheeks,
The wind wipes them dry, And gives me some peace.
Soaring so free, Over water and land,
My Spirit Guide gently, Takes me by my hand.
He shows me what was, And what's meant to be,
And why my life, Is so important it seems.
A long soar, Like the eagle high,
I bow my head, And I start to cry. Back on the land, Across from the tree's, I began to realize, What healing means.
It mean's not to forget, Let the past flow, Of all the horrors,
One soul had to go. To take the strengths, And apply them to life,
Is a valuable lesson, I've learnt this flight.
Alone in the sunset, I watch it go down,
When I finally realize, What peace I have found.

The Journey

One day I took a walk with my father and daughter. 
My father had just turned 70 and I myself turned 27, my daughter was in her first year of life. 
We were all born in the same month all within eight days of each other. 
I got to thinking of life and how right here stood two men and a daughter all on life's journey but at different stages. 
First you have a young girl starting life's journey, with hungry eyes and eager to learn, with a whole life not yet lived, hopes and dreams not yet discovered. Then you have a young to middle aged man who is in the middle of life's journey with desperate eyes and fighting hard to make his hopes and dreams a reality, the past put aside and the future almost in his grasp. 
Finally you have the older man at the end of life's journey, with tired eyes and a humble sprit, a wealth of knowledge of a hard life lived and trying to adjust, because his body can't hold up the way it used to. 
Remembering the fight and how he faired with dreams fulfilled but not yet wanting to give up and so he makes room for more. 
Three human bound by life, love, and the same family name. 
My Father, my daughter, and I.

Thank you Daddy

Thank you for being there
Every step of the way
Thank you for guiding me
When I went astray
Thank you for your kisses
When I was afraid at night
Thank you for comforting me
When I got a fright
Thank you for everything and anything you did
Throughout my whole life
Thank you for being my whole world
Thank you for my life
But most of all I thank you 
For everything you've done
Because there wouldn't be a me
Without a you, Dad !!!

Bed Of Clouds

I sleep in the clouds, dream in the sky,
I'll keep dreaming as life passes me by,
I think my dreams keep me sane,
I dream of happiness, a life without pain,
some people say I'm stuck in this place,
and I'll never go anywhere,
but in my dreams I've already been there,
I know some day I'll have to wake up,
but I feel the real world is more like a nightmare,
I'm safe in my closed eye wonderland,
this poem goes to all the dreamers that understand,
no matter what they say...
keep your dreams but don't dream your life away, 

Remembrance

Has anyone ever thought like this? The way I think when I think about you? I see you so clearly your eyes, your mouth, your nose, everything about you is so clear. I still feel your arm wrapped tight around me. our hands clasped, your thumb rubbing circles on mine. I feel you calloused hands on my back and I hope you feel mine. I want to see you will I ever be able to?
Has anyone ever been in such agony over someone? Is this pain even bearable? I hear your voice saying my name and making it sound beautiful. I hear our conversations over and over in my head. Do you hear them to? I want to hear your voice. Will I ever get the chance to? 
Has anyone ever felt the way I felt when we first touched? It was ever so brief yet something happened, then you couldn't keep your hands off me. You touch my head, hair waist, arm, and hands. I still feel every one of them and when I remember them I wonder if you remember them to? I want to touch you again will I ever get to?

SOULS AND GRAVES

The colors of their faces,
The tears that they shed.
The writing on the walls,
Their parents nearly dead. 
They sleep with their eyes open,
They cry with their eyes closed.
They pray without god’s presence, 
And without a soul to hold.
Who will cover their wounded faces, so that their young-ones won’t be afraid?
Who will notice the children’s’ shattering faces, when they stand near their parent’s unmarked grave?
God’s presence is nowhere, so the children don’t believe. 
THEY LISTEN TO EACH OTHER’S STORIES OF WOUNDED SOULS AND GRAVE. 
They speak, in a low voice, as though their spirit was drained away.
A piece of their heart is missing,
It’s rotting out there to decay. 
They step out into the light,
To see the tyranny of their acts.
They notice each other’s fright,
Now their just a fact.
They are left with no words, only the horrors of their past.
The slaughter, the rape, the torture.
That the Sudanese government had cast.
It is written upon their faces,
Through scars and through tears.
Now all the genocide cases,
Won’t compare to this modern year’s.
They walk upon the Darfur ground.
To visit their once-upon- a-time homes.
To search for a quiver, to search for a sound.
To look upon the distance.
To search for the bodies never found…
They will never forget.
They can forgive.
But the people who have died.
Will never relive.
So that questions their motives.
And what they want to do,
To try and be peaceful.
Or to become one of the few…
To rise against the many.
And to do the same. 
To take the life of any. 
To start a new game.
But they don’t need to kill.
They only want to be free.
To make life still.
To make them want to see.
But {they} are just tyrants of war and of politics.
That set people apart.
Just by their statistics. 
The little girl can’t find her mother.
And the young boy has no brother.
But now they can unite.
To join 
And to fight.
To rise.
So that they can fall.
Once again.
Once and for all. 

Dancing Trees

Take a moment to notice
The beauty of the trees.
Sit and take a look
At the dancing leaves.
Note the little child
Laughing, playing with a toy.
Always so full of energy;
Humongous amounts of joy.
Don't crush the insects,
Who are 1/1000ths of your weight.
They may creep up your path,
But don't decide their fate.
Life's not about avoiding storms.
Instead, dance in the rain.
The Earth is so beautiful;
Why must we cause it's pain?
Take time off your busy schedule
To glance at the starry night.
Because nature is genius.
So pretty, such a sight!

learn a lesson from nature

I watch the waves crash in, breaking on the shore
All their anger dispensed on the oceans floor
I look at the sky so blue, sun shining so bright
Spreading heat and happiness with its blinding light
Long blades of grass swaying in the gentle breeze
Dancing in rhythm with so much ease
Look up at the trees hearing the singing of the birds
Happily chirping singing at ease without words
Sitting here holding my knees to my chest
Watching and hearing nature at it s best
I ponder how Nature could get it so right
When we have let Natures lessons get so out of sight
We hold our anger, let our happiness slip away
Making our survival a struggle each and every day
We have forgotten the little things that mean so much
Like the laughter, the freedom, and someone’s loving touch
If only I could make people stop, watch and listen to Natures tale
We could all sit back happily and our world would not be so frail
In each others existence in harmony we could all survive
I’m sure like the sun, wind, tree, and birds our lives we could revive
If only we let nature take its course in each and every one of us each day and night
As I sit and ponder how Nature got it so right and we lost all sight.

Without Her Love

What has happened is never spoken
And everything around me has been broken
There's no words, just silence.
Hate, but no violence
Sadness, without tears
Humans, without fears.
When will the ground break?
Where is the open gate?
Slowly, the darkness creeps
But still, no one weeps.
All are withering
Hearts are shriveling.
This world has grown cold
There's no one left to hold.
I fear that I too will join them soon
Just when the light fades from the moon.
My beloved has been turned into a dove
And now I know what becomes of this world, 
Without her love.

Fake Drug

I shed too many tears and wasted too much time thinking of you

I devoted so much time to you 
In return all I got where my own tears
Nights I couldn’t sleep
I ask over and over
What am I doing wrong
But then I realize that it was you the whole time
I gave you my smile and you almost gave me a child
Every time you needed me I gave into you like a drug
And I suffer the side effects alone in my bedroom
Were you last left me with out a sound
Was this another hit it and quit it
Cause I haven't heard from you in a minute now
And its getting pretty late
I'm just surprised you haven't checked up on me
Should've thought twice before I overdosed on you
Cause you were the fake shit
But since I've already opened you up and saw what was really inside 
it was too late
I was ripped off but now I'm screwed cause there's no refunds