Why do you beat yourself up

Why do you beat yourself up
because you had the courage to love
gave all of yourself in hopes that She was the one
Why do you beat yourself up
When it was her choice to be unfaithful
her choice to hurt you
Why do you beat yourself up
Knowing that you had done everything for her
supported her, comforted her, 
loved her more than you loved yourself 
Why after her lies and deceit
do you still love her? and want her to love you
Why after the repeat of hurt and trust being lost
do you think that she deserves a love as pure as yours
Why do you beat yourself up
over what you could have done better
when you know deep down there was nothing
What makes you search for answers as to why 
when they will not change the past, Nor mend your broken heart
Why when a Woman decides to cheat do we blame ourselves?
why does it make us question every little detail about who we are 
Make us think that we are not worthy of love
Why when a woman cheats do we still long for her to change
Realize how wrong she was, and fall in love with us again
Why do you beat yourself up
When you deserve more
When all that you have done is loved someone completely
Give yourself time and the pain will subside 
and the mourning will cease
You will see that you are still you
Still wonderful, beautiful you
Nothing has changed except your experience in love
And your determination to share love with another
As you can never truly love someone until you learn to love yourself 

Facebook To Animals

..these are most likely to be their Status Updates:
Poodle: Waiting for my owner to pick me up. Time for saloon.
Cockroach: Managed to skip from someone’s foot step.. Man, I lead a dangerous lifestyle!
Cow: Huh! They are touching my breast again..what do they think I am! ******?
Cat: My 7th child is asking who is her dad..what shall I tell her??, I don’t even remember.
Mosquito: I am HIV positive this is all due to wrong sucking !!!
Chicken: If tomorrow I am not updating my status, means I am being served at KFC.
Love you all.
Octopus: I have just refilled my ink..hoorray!!
Pig: Oh gosh they throw the gossips that I am spreading flu…WTF!!
Lice: Oh @#$%! !! I entered wrong hair..smells like urinal bowls!
Goat : Friends, don’t go out, Eid holiday is coming
Pig writes a comment on Goat’s status:
“Luckily I am haram”
4 likes 
Goat replies:
“Don’t you remember that after Eid is the Chinese new year..?
11 likes 

Do ... You ... know ... Why !!!!

All this talking, gets us nowhere
why do you get worked up? you don't care
You lied, you cheated, you broke my heart
and everyone warned me from the start
Guess it's my own fault for being so dumb
I know I was stupid, I was so fool
Now it's over I walked in on you two
you slept with other's, there is nothing I can do
I'll move on and find someone great
my heart will be filled with love and not hate
Good luck, goodbye, I wish you well, I do
you know why? because I'm better, 
I'm better than you!

BABY i miss you !!!

I don’t think that you ever imagined how much pain I would be in once you were gone,

Because if you had; you wouldn't have left me.

Words cannot express the amount of emotions that have come with trying to let you go. 

Every day has been a struggle.

Its been a year and its still hard for me to grasp that your really gone.

Sometimes, still, I don’t know what to do with myself.

There have been days that I haven’t wanted to get out of bed,

And days that if I allowed myself, I could cry and cry and cry.

A year later and I still sit and stare at your pictures, 

Sometimes I sleep with them by my side.

I miss your voice.

I miss your smile,

Your eyes, your touch

Your smell, your phone calls

And your comforting ways.

Until I see you and dad again, 

I am always missing you both so incredibly much!

Love Is Sad ..!!

Love is sad, and love is cruel. 
To find it again, don’t be a fool. 
My flower was young, 
And my flower was sweet,
When we were together,
Our passion was heat,
We travelled together, never apart,
And I knew that forever she would be in my heart,
I would look in her eyes and I would hold my breathe
To lose such a treasure would mean certain death,
This sweet little thing that I used to adore, 
I never thought we would be no more.
The sun went away and it started to rain,
The joy in my heart soon turned into pain.
My little flower that I adored,
My absence was long, and she got bored
My flower has wilted from the lack of the heat,
Resentment took over, and our love was beat,
If only we planted more of those seeds, 
Our garden would flourish and not the weeds.
Wilted flower don’t be sad, 
Another’s garden is not so bad,
Always look up and never bend,
And soon you will find that your heart will mend
Love is sad, and love is cruel,
To find it again, don’t be a fool.

Shattered Heart, Shattered Dreams

My days are long, my nights are cold
Without you here for me to hold.
The moment we kissed, I knew it was right
To love you & want you with all of my might.
The hopes that we shared, the dreams that we dreamt
Then you turned around & said nothing was meant.
The memories we've got, the joy & the pain
Are finished, forgotten - you wont try again.
You said that you care, that's no longer enough
So you just up and leave - the man that I love.
You want to be free, to chat up the girls
The tall ones, the short ones, with straight hair or curls.
You never told me these things you were feeling
You've broken my heart & I cant see it healing.
I hope that you're happy in all that you do
That my pain & my hurt YOU never go through.
You weren't just my lover but my best friend as well.
I gave you my all when in love I fell.
If I meet someone else, and I'm not sure I will
This hole in my heart he never can fill.
With you all my dreams looked like coming true
You've robbed me of those, what can I now do?
You said that you loved me, that we should get wed.
We then bought a house, new kitchen & bed!
But now its all over, you want me no more
Swept out of your life like the dust on the floor.
If you want to re-live the great times we had
Just give me a ring, I'll be only too glad
 

Women Suffering,

The last time I talked to you, You were sweet, nice, caring, And you didn't put your hands on me.
Friday was different. That sweet innocent act tricked me into thinking you changed.
But silly me You not only didn't change. 
You got worse.
You didn't care about my feelings,
You only cared about your self.
You didn't care what your friends thought,
Because you knew they were scared of you too. You knew they wouldn't stand up and defend me. I was and I am stupid to think you could have ever changed.
You hit me because I wouldn't kiss you.
You bit me because you said I didn't care. 
You pulled a knife on me because I asked you to stop.
You blamed me that our relationship didn't last.
I didn't care about you, you kept yelling at me. I couldn't explain or defend my self about what happened last year because i new you would lash if i said one word.
You held my face and yelled at me to look at you. I couldn't, I was to scared.
You called me fool, you hit me again.
You grabbed me close, I begged you to stop.
You told me you wanted to spend the night,
That it was time I lost my V-Card. I told you, you couldn't and you pushed me away.
You grabbed me again and asked me
why i didn't love you like you love me. I looked away and didn't answer.
You hit me again. I told you because you were rude to me,
and you replied how. My mouth dropped, he thinks this is all a joke.
You grabbed my body and told me to kiss you.
I told you i couldn't, it wasn't fair for the both of us,
and now i have your fingerprints on my body, and stab holes in my walls.

I cant get over something that happened Friday night.
Something inside me cant move on.
I'm not mad about what you said or did to me.
and now that I think about it,
I was scared of you that night and still am.
I'm mad inside because I'm scared of you. 
I'm not scared of anyone in this world,
and now I realize today that I'm scared of you, and only you...

I wanted to believe that everything that happened last year,
All the abuse, and hurtful words were all a lie,
And never happened. I wanted to believe that you could be a better person, and that you could have changed. But silly little me was wrong, And i have the marks to prove.

Not Just A Teacher, But A Friend

I had no where to turn, had no where to go.
this is just something I think you need to know
I don't know what made me trust you
I still remember the day when I told you what I've been through
I thought I should run away, go hide in a hole
but then you really brought out my true soul
As each day grew longer
our trust became stronger
each time I wanted to cry
you stayed there right by my side
i thought, that our trust would slowly fade
but I was wrong, we are still strong
even though sometimes you don't have time
you at least ask me if I am fine
even though sometimes I am not
I feel like I have just been shot
I smile and say yes I'm alright
then I walk away and your out of sight
I'll just have to wait, I still have my fate
I am so glad

Me, Mine and I ..!!!

No one will ever know how I feel. 
For I cannot even explain it all.
Nobody to love. 
Nobody to blame. 
Everyone always the same.
Nothing to care about. 
No reason to lie. 
For I am me, myself, and I.
No ones sees what I see. 
Nobody left to care for me.
It's kind of sad knowing what's true, cause then you know who's there for you.
Most of them just put on that act. 
A lot of them talk bad about me behind my back.
Thanks for making me feel this way, there's nothing more I should have to say.
All the times I was alone, makes me feel weird when someone's home.
No family for support, no friends to care. 
People wonder why I don't go anywhere.
Every night crying myself to sleep, sometimes I wish someone loved me.
No hope, no love, no life, no friends the pain never ends.
Sometimes I ask what did I do to deserve this. 
But nobody answers.
A voice in my head tells me to forget the bad and remember good.
But then I answer to myself saying there is no good to remember. 
I always yell at myself asking why me? why? 
Sitting in a empty spare room.
No one to talk to about how I feel. 
No one to ask me what I feel.
Is anyone out there in this harsh world we live in? 
Sometimes I begin to wonder.
Sometimes I'm harsh on myself. 
Morn comes and I wake up wishing I was never born. 
Please help others, because today's lives our being taken out of this world just as easy as they are coming in. 
You can change someone's life. 
Make a change. 
It's a tough world.

How It Used To Be

I remember how it used to be
when nothing else matter but you and me
music, country roads, and future dreams.
I miss you, I wish you could see
although you are here, I miss you and me.
I remember when you said how happy I made you
and you really meant it...now, it's just a phrase
you say without thinking.
I miss those days when you'd call just to say "hi"
or "I love you"...the days it was so hard
just to say good-bye for a while.
I remember how wonderful it felt the first time
you held me in your arms-and how after all those
years you still made my heart melt.
I miss the old you- and the old me
The old us that could just sit and talk for hours
and never run out of things to say.
I remember when time simply stood still-
when in each other's arms is the only place
we wanted to be...forever.
I miss us as I remember how it used to be...
when nothing else matter but you and me.

Wind Walker

Across from the mountains, A little house sits in the tree's,
I'm lost in tranquility, As my soul tries to breath.
White clouds moving slowly, The breeze a calm still,
I'm caught in the moment, As my heart starts to heal.
A piece of me, In the startling blue sky, As I spread my wings,
My soul starts to fly.
I fly to unknown places, Where pain and hurt once dwelled,
As the memories flow pass me, My eyes start to swell.
Tear drops drip slowly, Down my cheeks,
The wind wipes them dry, And gives me some peace.
Soaring so free, Over water and land,
My Spirit Guide gently, Takes me by my hand.
He shows me what was, And what's meant to be,
And why my life, Is so important it seems.
A long soar, Like the eagle high,
I bow my head, And I start to cry. Back on the land, Across from the tree's, I began to realize, What healing means.
It mean's not to forget, Let the past flow, Of all the horrors,
One soul had to go. To take the strengths, And apply them to life,
Is a valuable lesson, I've learnt this flight.
Alone in the sunset, I watch it go down,
When I finally realize, What peace I have found.

The Journey

One day I took a walk with my father and daughter. 
My father had just turned 70 and I myself turned 27, my daughter was in her first year of life. 
We were all born in the same month all within eight days of each other. 
I got to thinking of life and how right here stood two men and a daughter all on life's journey but at different stages. 
First you have a young girl starting life's journey, with hungry eyes and eager to learn, with a whole life not yet lived, hopes and dreams not yet discovered. Then you have a young to middle aged man who is in the middle of life's journey with desperate eyes and fighting hard to make his hopes and dreams a reality, the past put aside and the future almost in his grasp. 
Finally you have the older man at the end of life's journey, with tired eyes and a humble sprit, a wealth of knowledge of a hard life lived and trying to adjust, because his body can't hold up the way it used to. 
Remembering the fight and how he faired with dreams fulfilled but not yet wanting to give up and so he makes room for more. 
Three human bound by life, love, and the same family name. 
My Father, my daughter, and I.