A single rain drop

رغم هدوء ليالي الشتــــــــاء..!
الا انك تجد ضجيجاً داخل قلبك. أينما ذهبت..عيونك لاتحكي .. سوى الحزن. تجلس وحيدا حائرا بأحزانك محملا بهمومك وأشجانك... في غرفتك المظلمه لاتسمع سوى صوت وقع المطر على نافذتك..!
على نافذتك تتناثر قطرات المطر بهدوء ورقه وكأنها تهمس ,, في آذاننا
بصوت خافت تفاءل.. تفاءل .. مازالت الحياة مستمره ومازال الأمل موجودا
مازالت تلك القطرات تنهمر وتطرق نافذتك بلطف واحيانا بعنف.. فتذهب  لتتأملها عن قرب وتقف أمام النافذه تراقب جمال المطر  فترتسم عليك الابتسامه... وتنسى همومك ولو للحظات بسيطه.. وستشعر بالحنين إلى كل شي !
إلى طفولتك وإلى تلك السنوات التي مضت من عمرك كبريق البرق. ستحن إلى قلوب افتقدتها وأحاسيس نسيتها ..!
ستغمض عيـنك وتسترجع شريط ..أحلامك.. بحب ستنسى كل مابقلبك
من نقاط لازالت سوداء.. وكيف لا وانت ترى نقاء المطر
تذكّر كل صفاتك الجميله التي نسيتها ..بفعل 
تذكّر كل متاعب الحياة والأوقات القاسيه .. وليالي السهر الحزينه
تذكر كل.. ماكنت تفعله قبل ان يدخل شعور البؤس إلى قلبـــك..بسبب
حب انتهى أو حلم ..تلاشىأو صدمااات اخترقت قلعتك ومنها تشبّع .. وارتوى قلبك.
ستذكّر أنك ..كنت رائعـــاً لكنك نسيت ..نفسك بين متاعبك وتركتها ضحية لأحزانك..ولظلم غيرك 
فلاتظلم نفسك بأن تقيدها ..بالحزن ... ألا يكفيها قهر الزمن .. وظلم البشر ..!!
مازال المطر ينهمر..ويشتد وقع صوت تلك القطرات على نافذتك 
هنــــــا أهمـــــس لـك:
اجعل من نافذة غرفتك وكأنها... نافذة حياتك
واجعل من قطرات المطر... أمـــــــلا .. واسمح له بالدخول... ليس على غرفتك فحسب بل إلى ... حيــــــــاتك وتفاءل ..
عش محباً  لنفسك وصادقاً معها. كي تحب حياتك وتحياها ..بكل معانيها
وغلّف بالحــب كل القلوب ..التي تراها اجعل من قلبك وطنــا يحمل حب
الآخرين ..ويحمل.. أحلامك حتى وان تلاشت تلك القلوب..
أو تلك الأحلام ..
فلاتنسى قلبك.. فمازال وطنــاً ..
ماافتقدته سيترك لك بصمات مؤلمه .. لكن استبدلها بحب الناس والحياة..
ولاتقتنع بأن القلب مدينة واحده .. بل هو وطن..لكن كن قلباً صادقــاً..
انت لاتستطيع أن تزرع وروداً حمـــرا في كـــــل قلب ولكن لا تكن سببا في زبول بساتين من حولك.. 
استمع لصوت المطر.. .. تعلم .. تفاعل.. لا تبحث عن سعادتك في انقاد غيرك.

no tomorrow for today is gone

We crawl through each day
In hopes tomorrow is not the same
We try to understand how we have faltered
And why we are punished and blamed
Beaten like a piece of dough
Hardening with the air
Styled with a knife
And turning to powder somewhere
Wilting like a flower
At the end of spring
Left in a flooded vase
Barren and withering
Crushed like a rock
And turned into stone
The last piece of furniture
In a moved out home
A weed in the grass
That is frowned upon
A prayer for help
That does not respond
A summer rain
Which floods the ground
A grasp for love
That cannot be found
Tossed aside like a plastic can
Left to sauté in the sun
We are lost in hope
And yet have none 

Be welcome or be like me

Do you want to be like me ?
Tell me do you want to be ?
Do you want to see the things, The way I want you to see ?
Do you want to be lonely ?
Lonely & alone like me.. Navigate in the sorrow of blank sea Come and taste my destiny
Do you want to feel the life ?
The way I feel, Do you want to face the matters
The way each day I deal
Everyone has his own life.. Own way of living
Different perception towards life.. We are all different human beings
But do you want to live my life ?
Live it for a single day
Share my views and share my sight.! Then express your say
Do you want to get in to my soul ?
Live the life for me
Do you want to make a new story unfold
Have faith aand touch the honesty
This will be a strange experience for you believe me it's true, and you'll know what I am going through.! 

Lana.

Stand beside the grave where my only friend is laid, and 
Learn how quickly mortals fade, how the fairest flower must droop, how the strongest form must stoop,
Learn ... that we are but dust and clay, the short liv'd creatures of a day. Yet do not sigh for there is a clime,
Where they will dwell through endless time,
Who here on earth their Maker serve, and never from her precepts swerve.
The grave to her is but a road,
That leads her to that blest abode. 
Wait me there my only dear, for now my eyes full of tears.
Goodbye my love.
Monday, November 14, 2016

Missing

Even strength must bow to wisdom sometimes.. isn't .!

And still I'm keeping it

I promise to 
Give you a shoulder to lean on, A hand to guide your way, A whisper, a soft whisper that all is well, don't give up...
I promise that 
I will share my pain, laughter and joy. 
I will meet you halfway because I am your friend and your beloved .. and you are my friend and my woman on the road of our hard life.

millions.. not enough.

You can read a million books, Learn a millions lines, Close your eyes and wonder and forget it all a million times..
You can eat a millions foods, Drink a million wines
And still find yourself unsatisfied with your taste still undefined
You can hope a millions times and dream a million sheep, you can laugh as though it doesn’t bother you.. Even if a million nights .. you weep
You can sing a million notes,  practice a million ways.. And all it takes is one rejection to have you stop after just one day.
You can have a million lovers, search for a million hearts.. You can hold your breath and wonder and yet suffocate before it ever starts.
You can have a million lifetimes.. A million chances to succeeded, and yet if you never try just once to break the rules..  you will lose the meaning behind your royalty.

bad... bad life

A person maintains a balance of feeling... Some are destructive others giving healing
Some give great joy whereas others are sad... They can be good or painful and bad
A balance of life is there for us all... As we rise joyfully high then to depths we fall
We have these two huge extremes... To appreciate the opposite to me it seems
If we were never filled with good light... When the darkness falls we'd not fight
Opposites are always there and always kept... We've all experienced joy then to have wept
So next time it seems again all is sadly lost... And life's meaning and purpose has been tossed
Remember though bad the opposite's still near... Keep trying have faith and good will appear.

With no regret

The greater test in life is to wait for something maybe will lead you to your final destination with so much pleasure.. but the greatest is to be able to accept that you were waiting for nothing with no regrettably regret.. 
No matter how far we’ve gone, or how fast we go.
No matter how high we get, or even how low.
Life is a journey, fuelled by the heart.
Where the road to reality, is just where you start.
So first, we need to make the right choices,
As the decisions we make.
Decide our conditions, and paths that we take.
Because every living thing, has the potential for a destination.
Where fulfillment is critical, trumping expectation.
As long as you’re positive, we won’t drown in our debts.
So just live our life, with no, regrets.. andbe thankful for those precious moments we lived.

What is more acute.!!

What is more acute.!!
The joy of love accepted, or the pain of love rejected.!
The whole world seems like heaven, and the feeling within, seems more heavenly than the heaven itself.
Inside the corridor of my heart evergreen spring reigns forever.. Dear, It's all about the reason you said 'Yes'.
The fire of pain that keep burning inside me turning the core of my heart into ashes, Deep within my heart there is eternal emptiness, and dark loneliness is covering my 'self'
Eating into my secret soul.. Dear, It's all about the reason you said 'No'.
the point is.. The joy of first love, and the pain of first rejection,... Comes only once in a lifetime,
And the same cannot have the two feelings,
All at once.. Being one person and having one life. 
checkmate.!

The right words..

It's so hard,
To choose the right word,
Explaining how I feel,
My mouth has a shield,
It won't tell you,
It doesn't know how to,
It won't let you in,
My emotions within,
So I hide,
I know that isn't right,
But I need to show,
I need you to know,
I need to spill,
And when I can,
I will. 

Trust..

To touch and be touched is perhaps the most human thing we do.
It can provoke many emotions.
Those who have been hurt, fear it; and want to run away.
Run away from the terror, the abuse, the roughness... In running away, we feel safe.
Safe from being hurt again... Safe from feeling... But oh so alone...
We have lost trust... the trust we had as a child.
Each time we are hurt, it becomes harder to trust in another. Trusting that, in reaching out, we won't be hurt again.
But without trust, there can be no peace..
If there is no peace, there will always be a longing. Something missing...
In peace, we can be alone if we wish or we can reach out and soak in the goodness of touching
and being touched by another. Both are good.
When we can trust in another:
Their touch calms us... soothes us... quiets our fears.
That bond of trust, born from gentle touch, allows each to be at peace.
It allows each to gather strength from the other.
Some find that animals fill their need to touch. A dog's trust is unconditional.
It will follow you where ever you go and protect you with it's life.
All it wants in return is your touch, your affection.. Your caress.
A caress is a special kind of touch.. It is born of love and mutual trust.
A trust that allows us to stand on our own, even when the other isn't there.
Trusting that, if we call, the other will respond. Without fear... Without questioning... Simply because we called.. A friend, a lover..
In quietly caressing and being caressed we gain strength.
nothing calms faster...
the child in all of us.
the need in all of us..
The human in all of us.
more than exchanging trust.

Never dream.

They told me..." You’ll never dream again"
They told me... And I kept a tear in my eyes
"You’ll never dream again" 
All was said
I stopped .. 
"You’ll never dream again"
Chill enveloped me
I misunderstood
"You'll never dream again, give up.!!"
I smiled and replied...
I may not dream again... But I live more now.

Missing kiss

A kiss is not just a kiss;
A kiss is love.
For a kiss means I breathe for you; and you breathe for me.
This means we can't live without each other.
So a kiss is not just a kiss.
A kiss is me loving you

Apologize..!

Sorry 
if i invaded your mind and wanted it to be mine..
If i forced you to drink my wine and it couldn 't make you fine..
If i dimmed your world by my absence and filled it with dins..
If i wasn't the lovely jade and i couldn't be the fake...
if I baptized your soul by my holiness blesses and it couldn’t protect you from your own devil ..
If i cursed you with my faith, when i tried to ravel your vicious spell..
If i distorted your structure when i replaced your claws with pure wings to blow and it couldn 't turn you into an angel ..
Sorry
If i made you struggle.. in a world full of pretenders.
If i believed that, its hard to find the relief and ran to my world to hide..
If i had to leave, and let all our dreams behind..
If i had to deport you from heaven and let you alone in forbidden kingdom.
If i had to renounce your bonds, and i couldn't revive my vows..
Sorry
for my sorrows cause i gave all my raving passions’s gist, and asked you to be my everything.
but you requited me as if its lavish unbearable guilt, for anyone can ever felt.

Start to hate being me.

Should I stop giving and break up with living
should I give up forgiving
should I deport my angles and invite my demons
should I look behind the portrait not at the sight..
should I leave
Should I stop to believe
should I hurt and ignore the heart
should I betray and be the smart
should I know how to play
Should I stop obey
should I love myself a little bit more than the others..
should I be selfish styled by devilish..
shouldn't I stop being a human..! !
should I be a phenomenon..! !
I think i should stop thinking
I shouldn't be myself
I should be like everybody else..!

Netherlands

I want to go to
Netherlands and see
The other side of the world also 

November dreams...

White sandy beaches, Warm blue waters,
Lush green palm trees, A quiet place to be,
Sitting there, just you and me.
Yellow warmth of sun, Red hot heat of love,
Inky blackness of night, Stars overhead a silvery light,
Making love, just you and me.
Umbrella drinks, And holding hands,
Soft kisses and gentle sighs, Cloudless deep skies,
Together forever, just you and I.
Liquid warmth, Washing in slow,
Gritty sand below, Hand in hand we know,
Hearts as one, just you and I.
Glittery light, To mark our way,
Echoes of time, The end of today, With the moon over the sea,
Never more in love, just you and me.
Soft ocean breezes, White capped waves,
Tears of joy in my eye, With the moon over high,
No one else in the world, just you and I. 

Silence prayer.

The coolest thing in kneeling to god, is that you whispering your prayers into the ground. And it's heard by he who in the sky.. O God.. 

If you had a rose for every sorry, you'd have to picke a whole field.

My love for her will last forever,  
Her skin against mine as soft as a feather,
This love can last threw any weather.
Her hands in mine,
Fingers tangled like twin, Hands running through hair,
Trying to make Her aware, Of how much I love her,
Me and her together all night, Holding her so very tight,
and when I'm with her,
Everything seems all right,
Her beauty shines,
Like the brightest light.
She made my heart soar like a kite,  
And fly like a bird,
My heart so high,
But when She said those Words my heart fell straight outta the sky,
Why did She have to hide or lie,
Why did She have to make me sigh, cry, and want to die.
My heart hit the ground, pieces flew all around.
She smashed it to dust,  And left me to rust
You put my heart back together,
You promised me,
You would be with me forever. 

Confusion

Have you ever been in a state of confusion.!!
In which all your emotions set the illusion,
That you don't know how you're feeling and you don't know what you want.!
Even if you don't realize it it's terrible when it's you those bad thoughts haunt,
In my opinion confusion is far worse than pain,
Trying to figure it out could definitely cause great strain,
Sitting and wondering what to do or what the confusion is about,
To me not knowing makes me afraid of what I may find out,
I'm not saying I can't handle what's dealt to me but still I can't say I like it,
The best I can do is try to ignore my feelings otherwise I'd have a fit,
I'm pretty sure this feeling has happened to almost everybody,
Confusion of your feelings or whatever it may be,
But I hope not too often or some may end up just like me... 

Abandonment

Some people say 'Things will get better!,
As far as I'm concerned my eyes will just get wetter,
The tears that fall are often mis_shed,
At least that's what I think when I lie my head...
Others say 'Life's good, don't be a bust',
But when you're ignored so often that it's hard to trust...
There's not often something to help the lust...
That I have to be important in this world when I'm less than dust...
No matter what people say trying to convince me,
In my own life that I'm 'The Key',
I respond with 'Then I'm the key without a lock,
Because no matter what I'm behind the 'flock' '...
Every time I find someone important, to an extent,
I know I'm always gunna' end up with abandonment

Day dream door

Once a day and sometimes more
I look out my day dream door
I wished you to come to me in my dreams, and then by day I shall be well again.
For then the night will more than pay... The hopeless longing of the day. 
Inside of me there is snow melting down, and lots of mud and slush around, 
I know the grass will surely sprout and birds and flowers will come about.
But why oh why does it take so long.?
I'm sure the calendar can't be wrong.
Someday Sunshine will fill my heart with cheer
I wish that winter are really here.
Wake up.! 
close the door.!

Good night.! !!!! !!!

I think of my loved one as a shining star,
Looking down with tenderness from afar.
I'm never alone as long as I believe
There are blessings here for me to receive.

Too much pride leads nowhere.!

Behind the facade of our big egos we constantly do hide
And pride of five letters is only that just pride
And some will even tell you pride comes before a fall
From life we have been learning from before we learned to crawl,
The thing we refer to as pride not easily understood
A little pride is necessary but too much pride not good
Pride can lead to big egos and snobbish self conceit
A truly humble person is one you don't often meet
The self opinionated and self conceited never known to be rare
Those who promote their egos in the bigger World out there
From the seeds of a big ego success is often grown
A humble quiet achiever is one I have not known
A little pride is necessary and self esteem okay
But too much pride can lead to arrogance and that seems sad to say,

Your strength..

 As long as you think I am, Then I shall forever be,
For I am everything for you, I am what you make of me.
I am no longer who I was, For you turned my life around,
You hold me tight to my sanity, And keep my feet upon the ground.
When the world begins to spin, And daylight turns to night,
I know your love surrounds me, And I know I'll be all right.
And when my sun refuses to shine, And there are no stars up in my sky,
You'll be the anchor to my sailing ship or spread my wings and help me fly.
When my world has no direction and I know not where to turn,
You'll be my shelter in the storm of life's hard lessons learned.
When the colors of my rainbow become black and white as I feel,
I know I can count on you to remind me of what is real.
for you ...
You are the breath I breathe whenever I start to drown,
You are the one who finds me when I'm no where to be found.
Without you I am nothing for you are everything to me,
You are the force that sustains me and gives me life eternally.
Where ever I walk in this world you are always at my side,
Never would you let me give up without ever having tried.
For this and many more.. I give my thanks to you,
For without you beside me I could never see this through.
As long as you are with me I will survive this time,
You lend to me your strength.. And help me to make it mine.

I will never walk alone again

One day I found myself.. standing at the edge of good-bye, looking over the canyon of my life
Waiting there to die.
I felt so lost and empty inside.. alone, like no one would care, No one in my life to love.. My heart filled with despair.
I stood at the very edge..  and lifted my face up to the sky, I stood there at that very edge..  and prayed to God I'd die.
Everywhere I seemed to turn.. 
My life filled up with pain,
My days were filled with agony
My nights fell down like rain.
The only arms to hold me.. Belonged to this body of mine, I curled hard within myself..  to my empty heart I was resigned.
And then one day as I sat.. curled tight and all alone.. I felt a warmth stirring, that turned my heart from stone.
This light shone down on me.. And warmed my very soul, It brought a love into my heart.. and made me feel whole.
I felt two arms encompass me and lift me to my feet, this love that spoke to me.. said we would not accept defeat.
Together we will face this world.. and all it brings our way, no longer will you walk alone.. for life starts anew this day.
From now on when you need shelter from this storm of life, I'll be the one to hold you.. for I want you for my life.
When you need love and comfort.. I'll be there to light your way, Just let my arms protect you.. and I'll be here every day.
Never will you be cold or feel lost or all alone.
Just let my love surround you for my love is deeper than you've known.
And with her declaration of this love so grand,
I felt my heart begin to thaw as I began to understand.
No longer would I walk as one or face this world alone, for with this love she gave to me.. I am more loved than I've ever known.
And now when I stand at that edge.. and stare out over all I see, I know I'll never be afraid for I feel her love surrounding me.
She'll keep me safe from harm and love me unconditionally, And all I need to do in return
Is let her give her love to me.
Though she asks for nothing in return
I gladly give her my heart,
I will never walk alone again
For she resides within my heart..

blind souls

I hide me well, every day,
Forever in disguise I’ll stay.
I’ll smile away the tears that fall,
I’ll show no sign of weakness at all.

never let your ego, lead you to dead end.

Desiring things, decrease their occurrence in perception while potentially increasing
their occurrence in reality.. when there is a point where desireing and potentials gets dead end, and we start to no longer care.. take your time for in this game only death will win.

good day, good night and goodbye.

So naked I want you to stand in front of me
Full of hope and full of fear
Locked in my arms and you'll glow all the night
Loneliness... will no longer real
My breath caresses strands of your hair
My palms touches your hungry skin
It will be an evening of hurting hearts,
That life has put together.. to heal.

Eternally and a day.

Sometime last night while sleeping out loud your name I cried, Because while lying next to you last night sometime I died.
My spirited lifted up from me above that bed of ours, I floated high above you and watched you sleep for hours.
I felt the tears that fell as they washed over my face, for I longed to be held tightly in your warm loving embrace.
I didn't want to leave you there to face your life alone, For ours has been the greatest love this world has ever known.
I knew how sad that you would be when you woke and found I'd died, I wanted so to be there while you hold me close and cried.
And then I felt this light on me
And I knew my time was near,
And the angels to come and carry me
And take me far from here.
I whispered into the night a tiny prayer for you,
For you to be strong for me and hold my love close to you.
At that time I felt the angels lift me high into the night, I watched you sleeping peacefully as I flew into that light.
Until there before me stood into God angles, Who spoke them words to me, they told me not to worry much for greater god'd watch over you lovingly.
And that one day it would be your time to come home here to me, and when that time came about we would share truly eternity.
So please my love when you wake and find my lifeless form,
Please don't cry unduly, for my love will keep you warm eternally and a day.

Don't offer your love..

Do not mention the name of love, O my simple minded companion.
Strange is the path; When you offer your love.
Your body is crushed at the first step.
If you want to offer love
Be prepared to cut off your head and sit on it.
Be like the moth, which circles the lamp and offers its body.
Be like the deer, which, on hearing the horn, offers its head to the hunter.
Be like the partridge, which swallows burning coals in love of the moon.
Be like the fish, which yields up its life when separated from the sea.
Be like the bee, entrapped in the closing petals of the lotus.

Untitled..!

I write every word with hope, that you will read it one day
It will be my chance
To explain
To show you
How it really felt
To see you radiant
To make you smile
To feel for one second, you were only mine
The rays of your love that never fade, our world unaware was of it all
The nights brought the passion
The days promptly stole
Without the words, conversation flowing
But please tell me, are we failed in the end, to keep it going

falling leaves..

Like a candle burning on a window sill
In the darkness of the night admist silence
He lies in quiet desperation in hopes that a falling star will shine its light of mercy upon his broken dream,
It was the high of love that didn't last
The chaotic fluster of emotion drifting from his thoughts, through his veins and into his bleeding heart,
As tears of innocence softly caress his cheek
Falling behind time, upon the candles flames in attempt to dim the fires bright passion,
Reflecting the anger behind a missing kiss, the shadows behind a series of laughter face to face.
Now in a solitude of darkness, with only the glimmer of the moon sneaking through a window
And a flicker of the candle's last light,
A calming fills his soul, like a tree that grows and stands alone,
Strong and mighty against the battles of thunderstorms and fierce winds
A thing of natural ugliness
A piece of art when the sun shines its rays through his falling leaves, 
Even in the darkness of night the moon start to fade away... 
Day after day, alone, tall and strong but 
People will see him; an uglyl tree of failed dreams.

Promise

I knows I'll see you... in this side, or another

being..!

What Is the difference between a daydream and pretend..!!!
Both memories that fade away
Both moments that were created as a ways to an end, Whether to fall into slumber or leave reality
What’s the difference with either creativity..!
You can dream you live miles away,
Pretend you are everything you are not
You can dream you are rich,
Pretend that your fears will stop
You can dream that you are in love
Pretend that you are famous,
You know what your soul is made out of
You can pretend these hopes do not matter
But 
What is the difference..?
Who is to say.?
You can spend eternity pretending and dreaming your life away.. without a single day can count as alive.. for when you are alive..!!
You create dreams among many other things and the despair inbetween.
You hold on to hope, keep you warm like a sleeve, dry your tears so you may cope.
You learn kindness for, family, friends even for your beloved to help in your adventure, to stay by you till the end..
For when you are alive, one thing you will need
It is love, 
To envelop you
To flourish you from just a seed, from just a daydreamer or a pretender to be alive again.

Qualm the joy that life may bring

Does anything ever changes..?
The days that slow go bye
And the ones you wish to tell
The tears you watch them cry
The plans you have
The truths to see
The hopes you savor
Ever cease to be
Qualm the joy that life may bring
Or the time ... to remembering
Last the joke that is undone
Stop the ever, setting sun
Watch tomorrow slowly become today
And like untold speech, stay the same... same way.

losing trust..

If you sit down at set of sun and count the acts that you have done to this very humble someone,
And, counting, find
One self-denying deed, 
One word that eased the heart of him who heard,
One glance most kind
That fell like sunshine where it went, 
Then you may count that days in nothing you ... spent.
But if, through all the livelong day, you've cheered no heart, by here ot there, yea or nay
If, through it all you've nothing done that you can trace, that brought the sunshine to one face,
No act most small
That helped some soul and nothing cost,
Then count that day as worse than lost.

You.. yes you.!

Unknown destination, unseen morrow to the unawake dream of the thoughts unborn, In the island with a small firmament into the hidden truth, saturated from humans deception.. like what..!!!!
Like the fish in the lake of the dark night,
King to self, slave to water and servant to the god

A day without you

Amazing you are to me,
a life without your smile or voice... I find it hard to live.
Precious you are to me,
a life without your touch. I find it hard to adore.
It feels like a huge massive hole has, been digged in my heart.
a life without you will never be the same all an all.
I've been teared apart the day you walked out on me.
I never found a meaning to uphold my wishes without you... 
I strongly feel that missing you is a job I shouldn't have resingned from.
That's why I say..!
never give up on someone you, can't go a day without thinking about.