End of story

Poor clown has been fall in love with queen, he tired trying to know where the princes live, she happily tired of cheating him, and as sea waves never stop from breaking in sea shore both of them never giving up play his role in this story,
The clown spent each and every coin he earns through his miserable life hoping to meet the queen one more time, while she kept set him up from lie to another, and because he was honest dealing with her lies, he spent year after another satisfying her wishes, believing that one day she will say the true place where she lives,
one day he awakes up from his long journey to knew that the queen accept to meet him in Netherlands, and it was a long long journey from where he unsed to live, 
and again as usual he start to get ready for his life journey willing to see her once and last time, and because he was poor, and because he knocked all the doors he knew to his family and friends asking them for help, 
he couldn't has the journey requirements, he spend so long nights thinking what still remains to do..
So, few days later he remember a story once from a long time ago his father had told him, about white and red rose, " a beautiful red rose was fall in love with white rose which was ignore and refuse this love, the red rose tried all means were necessary to drive this white rose to love it... to talk to it, to just blossom in its face, and one day the white rose decided to has a chat with this red rose, 
- good morning my love, would you just tell me when you will love me as I love you ? "red rose ask'
- good morning, let me tell you when i love you.. "white rose reply"
 watch me everyday and when my petals will turn its color to red, i'll be in love with you"
Red rose kept all the spring watch the white rose and nothing happened.. and white rose finally decide to cut his stem to bleed his blood into his lover this wild white rose to turn her color to red with his blood"
finally the red rose did it, and the white rose turned her color to red, but red rose died trying.
So, the clown said why not, i can also bleed to see the queen love me, he went to a doctor and said, i want to sail a part of my life, could you do this to me, first he refused to reply the clown, then after a long thinking, the doctor accepted to take a part of this poor clown and give him money for his journey,
the clown was so afraid to die as the red rose, but he accept that beam of hope as a gift from god,
two days later spent in hospital doctor knock the door and said to him..
"I'm sorry i have a bad news" doctor said,
O.. what news tell me if you please. "the clown reply"
We can't take this part of you for it is not as quite good as we need, "doctor.
the clown went to his home wondering how he can get ready for his journey ..!
clown older daughter asked him, my father when you were out, your friend brought this package and asked me to give it to you,
the clown reply "who"..!
I don't knew him "daughter"
surprisingly it was the money he promised to got from the doctor, the same amount.. a tears fallen from his eyes, had been hidden from his daughter,
the clown hurry to pray for god, and start again to manage his steps to be ready to his journey,
he was willing to tell the queen that everyday he spend, he just spends it in a new steps on the way of his journey,
then he decided to ink her a letter telling her that he do everything he can to meet her, 
few days later he got reply from "the queen" just five lines
The Curtain fell
The show is over
The seats emptied...

It was theater.
It wasn't love.
...
end of story

Problems

At my sickness craving to find new roads to knock in, All the people i knew asks me about what is the problem with me, honesty i dare not to complain about the storm i put myself in, but in silence I understood that, we are experts at figuring out the problems... But get afraid to figure out the solution.
What a surprising characteristic of us !
A lifetime passed away I believed in god and in destiny , and still to my last breath I'll, problems there are so many for anyone but to realize and accept it this is life, obviously we all have them sometimes even if we can manage them all or not but we should let no trials and problems steal our joy... 
Personally in the middle of my problems I'm still see that hidden bright side, for I have faith, hope and trust that nothing created in this earth to stay forever,

Truth is horrible...

living in isolation for a long time until one's lost the spirit of dialogue, 
embracing ethics as a principle to awaking up in a time where people seek corruption with pride.
searching for impossible hope in a fading sunbeam which only appears in the dark. 
And between doubt and certainty, I've found goodness buried under a world full of pain.
And in the middle of worldly chaos, a beam of light beneath this misty atmosphere... glow as last candle of hope, 
invading the darkness of that hollow universe, showing the soul that there is still a fine end to the maze.
An angel wears the cloak of arrogance and pride, he drives me to face my fears.
He wants me to win in a war against my principles, to become a monster of his laziness.
And the question is,, Shall I live as a beast, or shall I die as a human..?
Thousands of words are not enough to make the blind... clear,
Thousands of deeds do not guarantee purity of one conscience,
Yes we may died and miraculously we may came back to life ... and then, O people, 
You will never fear death anymore, never afraid it at all .... you will afraid of life, this beautiful false living which lies beneath desires and the admiring of survival upon the bodies of the weakness... true is horrible...   isn't it..!

I miss you..

A thought of you every night, how we tenderly fight, how this love shine so bright, how i miss not being in your sight,

The sound of your voice, the true color in your noise, the way you smell, the look upon your face, 

How you move on, how you carry on and the smile with such holly grace,

I love you so much I can't deny but when I see you I will break down and my heart will cry, For when it cry these happy tears, It won't have anymore fears.
Oh how I miss you so much....I'll just have to wait and hope you will, keep in touch

Who we are...

Don't judge me until you know me. 
Don't underestimate me until you challenge me.... And 
Don't talk about me until you talk to me,
For in becoming who we are as a person we have to be willing to shake away from the judgment that we think we will see from others from being who we are. One thing about life is, there will be people that enter into your life, even at a distance, who will make no effort to get to know you, but will instead just choose not to like you. 
There are always people in life that will attempt belittle you, and whether they learn to grow to love you or not should never be in the forefront of your thinking. Let others be who they are, while you are who you are. 
If the time comes to live in a tense confrontational situation, make the best of it, and think of your adversaries as nothing more than enemies who have no reason to be offended by you, as enemies without rhyme or reason, enemies who have no sense of real sanity in this crazy world.

Like that..

It washes over my hand, It slips away like sand,
It trickles down a river, It slides just like a slither
It is patient and knows when to wait, it doesn't mind if it shows up late,
It falls from the sky in tears, It wipes away wasted years
It can die and live again, can squash and pry and bend
It has been here in the beginning, and will be here until the end
Water..

Reins of forgiveness

We follow our passion quietly and success will follow us, for our passion are the winds that propel our vessel... when our reason is the pilot that steers her..
we follow our passion for passion is universal humanity,
we follow our passion because,
without passion Art is useless,
without passion religion is spiritless
without passion history is meaningless
and if passion drives you, then let the reason hold the reins... reins of forgiveness

I need my wings Back..

If I had wings on which to fly, I would be without word... and not a tear would my yes cry, I'd be so close to your board.
If I had wings on which to fly, up in your clear blue sky, I'd fly so far and fly so high, where no human eyes could ever pry.
If I had wings on which to fly, I'd fly though clouds with rain, and wash away sorrows and lies, and wash away the pain.
If I had wings on which to fly, high in your atmosphere, where I could hear your longing cry, only then my heart would know no fear

unique is to be human being.

When greed takes people where they need to go,  it hidden from them the truth, the stories the need to know, 
As the homeless walk around with an empty stomach and an empty hands,  as the selfish watch the world vanish with an amazing empty minds, 
Didn't you notice that... 
A home is now only a house,  a life becomes in narrow screens browse,
And the world moves in blind to shid blood,  under every nations god. 
And I wounder where and when we lost our humanity, and how much is the cost we should pay to graving back our morality.
For I see nothing but a perfect vanity, people craving for it..  Even if they've gone blind..  Blind with insanity.

Point of view..

Love, from a distance is an envious view... Two squinting eyes can’t see through. is a revelation, millions of words in one formation. is a breakthrough healing, a living dream of dearest feelings. is all but a waste, a painful hunger for a peculiar taste.
Love, from a distance is but an affliction, a mere craving for tender addiction. is a miserable anguish, a lingering ache.. Leaving grief and languish. is a tragedy to some, and for others is close as I’ll come.
love, from a distance will never touch me, until is close as I’ll be.. Just hold on,  and be ready for me.

from facebook life into face reality we shall go

He read each status update and the comments that were shared,
Left a comment of his own to show that he too cared,
Then scanning through the profiles of each like that he received,
He found a kindred spirit that he hoped could be believed.
They spoke most every evening and shared jokes throughout the day,
No matter what was posted they just knew what words to say,
Their friendship quickly blossomed and future plans were set,
A promise to meet up for real with no worry or regret.
He found his quarry easily by check-in time and date,
No need for a routine when it's served up on a plate,
The days of stalking people just a story from the past,
Now everything you need is on the web-page they viewed last.
The address wasn't far away and not that hard to find,
He laughed at how the Internet was built with this in mind,
Walking through the neighborhood like home was just ahead,
No one could suspect what he had planned to do instead.
He peered into the window at his target unaware,
Lost in a realm of binary without a worldly care,
Staring deep into a glowing screen that held a phrase of dread,
Close that Facebook window and look up at me instead...!

good morning...

It is the faulty weakness of the heart, to find love first before life may start.
A lifetime to wait for the blissful day, to find true love and finally , we pray!The greatest gift we ever gave... Cherished forever beyond the grave.
Since, if for love, too short we fall... We might as well not live at all.
Like air we breathe, it is what we joyfully give,
For is it what makes us live.

beam of hope

Sometimes I wish simple things like tearing away these masks, which I wear so hardly these days to hide those tears and distress who are my constant companions.... Following me like my own shadow!
Can I just be myself for once..!!!
Without needing to hide behind the fixed smile which comes and always available on standby ?
Can I cry my heart out for once without feeling guilty about it, till all my tears are drained out along with all the heartaches?
Can I be that man for once who beams his sunshine smile to the world around
Just because he is glad today ?

I swear

Don't listen to your heart beat, it may cheat you ... listen to my heart,
I swear with all the light you fold in my miserable life
I swear with all the night i spent sending my soul to touch your life
I swear will all the love i told and the feeling willingly i sold
I have only one more chance to try, all the roads closed, 
I lost all the possibilities to search for you a thousand time.
I lost all my pride trying, you may have a long life but I'm dieing, 
And, If I'll die before meeting you, I'll wait you in the other side without crying.

Anonymous Email

Sometimes you only get one left chance..
to put aside your pride and say, humbly, "I was wrong",
to bear the noisy but give your heart to only one song,
to explain a misunderstanding that, if ignored, would sour us so long,
to hear what a child very much needs to tell you,
to defend a person when remarks are being made against him,
to accept what you don't know until you see the picture clear,
to stand up and be counted when you don't agree with the crowd,
to understand that not all humans can go easy as they want.
O.. 
Sometimes all you need is... to use it, 

Fading Moon

I open my eyes in the dead of the night, there's nothing around me... nothing in sight.
There is no moon for me in my cage, nothing to see in this world of rage.
Just me and myself, thoughts of you, helpless self, staring in the blank sky at my fading moon.
Nighttime always with nothing to fear, but always there: my fake golden sphere.
Up high towards the sky, on a pole by the street, forever going like my heart, beat after beat.
My ray of hope, to prove I have something to show, always shining in the darkness, If only I can know, from where I'm to where you are where I should go..!

into heaven's gate (1)

The place was so perfect, beneath a tree, it was a perfect time to be carefree.
He took her hand with a perfect stance, As if he would not get another chance.
A perfect gaze, with confidence and grace. With a swing he brought her close to him, a dance in the cold night which was dim.
Their dance was so perfect, close to their heart, they went on as if none could make them part... So good was their dance, yet with a fading beat, the heaven open its doors for the angels to see.
Their dancing steps did take them to the edge of the cliff, he took her in his arms, an effortless lift, They swayed into the valley, with their lives as a gift, to the heaven's above, their souls start to drift.

Just tell me where

How can I describe a scene, where you and I are not to be,
a place where we were lost to hope, a time our souls could not be free, 
How can I describe a world, where you and I are not as one,
a place where we have never met, a time when our love's not begun, 
How can I describe a hell, where you and I are far apart,
a place where we are still alone, a time before you healed my heart,
How can I describe a dream, where you and I are one at last,
a place where we live as family, a time where love reshapes the past

Goodnight

Uncertainty 
Suspicion
Denial 
Love
Foot pain
Smiles
Belgium
flower
A concoction of fear and nostalgia.
Goodnight

What if

The chance remains probable and true, to Understand the Blessings from the sky
That our god sent down and knew, of the miracles we could perform, if only we try.
So close your eyes and embrace me, focus on all good moments to you and me, clear your mind and tell me what you see, now forget all your sorrow, because each day you promises me a "New Tomorrow".
When God gave us life we received a choice, to bask in the wrong or to rejoice
To work and do right or perform all the wrong, but eventually the time will come along.... Where all will have to eventually move on
And pray at night and bless the dawn since life is full of more blessings than all the world could understand... even with a crown.

Without you

In Saturday night full of fears, when I think of you my dear, my mind, It does become unclear,
Then all I can think of, is you and nothing else on this Earth will do, losing a beat, fading feet, longing to the heart I bow,  
When I think of you, my sweet,  all other thoughts they do retreat, which leaves my mind with one thought only, 





 
 "Without you, my life is lonely"

Giving our real life a try

You do not need to know what everyone has done or seen,
Nor do you need to follow where the crowd might go or lean.
Don't swear at that reflection of the clouds upon your screen,
That burst of light from high above obscuring what has been,
Don't dwell on flawless selfies or the posts of yesteryear,
The past can be forgotten without cause for doubt or fear,
You are more than the sum of every shared smile or tear,
More than the likes and comments of those strangers you hold dear.
Don't live within the memory of a plastic-coated dream,
That manufactured happiness worth less than it may seem,
You have a brighter purpose than your state of mind might gleam,
A chance to change your future if you let the light redeem.
Don't spend another minute on fakebook friends lies,
The truth is just above you in the horizon sky,
You only have this moment to live before you dies,
So step away from all that's fake and give real life a try.

I forgive you

What is harder is to remain confused between your mind, your heart and your conscience.. until the age passes, 
Find no mind to... Convince you,
Find no heart to... Honors you,
And your conscience does not comfort you,
Ago... I was forgive you because you deserved forgiveness. Now I'll forgive, for we deserve life.

I miss you..

Once, long ago a very wise person told me that you can't miss something you never had.
I had told you wrong, But you pursued on saying I was a fool.
You left me to face the world alone... And I went on, living off my tears and breathing my sobs, but I was too stubborn to realize the truth in front of me.
I missed the feel of your lips on mine, although you never kissed me
I missed the sound of your snores when you feel asleep but I have never seen you asleep
I missed it when you wiped away my tears yet you have never comforted me
I missed feeling weightless when you swept me off my feet even though we never once embraced.
Once, you told me
That you can't miss something you never had but ever since you've been gone... I've realized the truth:
I missed the love that we shared even though it didn't exist... And that's the truth... So why do I feel like I've had it all along ?
You can't miss something you never had then why do I miss you?

Which is worse

To love as a monster

Or hate as a good human

Obstacle

Didn't you know that, no matter how we may feel or what may come our way, we'll keep on moving forward with each and every day.
Aren't we searching for a new life hoping for a change, wishing for a miracle to stop feeling like we're strange.
Aren't we accept to taking up the challenge and breaking every mound, keeping our moments striving and to be bold.
didn't you know that, no matter what we may see or where the road may lead, We'll keep on progress with every noble deed.
Aren't we building for the future and fighting only for to find some peace, dreaming of a new dawn for release.
didn't you know that no matter where we end up or how the world may end, we'll keep on getting better with each new obstacle and bend.
Aren't we standing at the bind waiting for our turn, planning for the new world to sharing all we learn.
Now listen... No matter who we become or when the day will be, we'll keep on making changes with every chance we see.
didn't you know that, when trust is lost, we'll pay a high cost, 
didn't you know that this heart is beating for you, and to love you must bow.

Stay .. it's my birthday

Please... stay calm, safe and in my sight for you cannot leave my side tonight,
didn't you know that without you I have no hope and here alone I cannot cope.
Please.. stay soft, warm and in my heart we cannot fall or drift apart for without you there is no me and nothing left for us to be.
please. stay young, strong and ever bright for I cannot live without your light,
didn't you know that without you there is no home and ever more my heart will beating or roam. 

Storm in my head

Am I darkness looking for rare kind in shadows roam and only maze is what I can find, am I digging through my weakened mind, leaving nothing... safe behind, Storm clouds darkening with dread... hanging here above my head,
Hiding from the skies once we’ve fled... floating on the fear they’re fed.
deceiving visions serving for free in a dreamless void that's all I can see,
Hollow point, hollow shell that once was me... Alone, and forever more... to be.

unfair

Hope and promise fill the air.... A healing feeling to light the sky,
With dreams and plans for days ahead... future waits for you and I. 
Woman in silent beneath my mind playing games unfair, and between love and dignity she always there..

World I couldn't change.

I've walked a line that no one else could, far from the eyes that watch all we do, to find tranquility in this fake world, far from the life where we weren't bold.
I've walked alone on this old misty road, far from my hopes and the dreams that you've sold, to find a place that I can call it home, Far from the lies that you have been told.
I've walked for miles on this old road, far from the hate and the fighting of old, just to find a dream that I pray to keep, far from the bed that once left so cold.
I've walked for days just searching for me, far from the smiles and those tears cried in vain, to find a heart that I can trade for mine, far from your words and the grip of my pain.
I've walked this life on the beat of my heart, far from the secrets and horrors I've seen, to find a moment of peace in the light, far from the darkness of all that has been.
I've walked this way to the end of my days, far from the people that think my soul strange, to find a way back to where hope was lost, far from the thoughts of a world I couldn't change

Dear love

Dear love; didn't you see, a grain of sand knows not its worth upon the lands across this mortal Earth, yet every grain is paramount to mark each seconds passing count, and when the grains have ceased to fall the sands of time engulf us all. 
Dear love; let us celebrate our day with the truth in all the things you say, that smile that shows the best of you... The hope that ever sees you through, let us think of all you've done, the journey that you have prohibiting me to begun, the joy in togetherness we lose and the immortal love you bring us all, the faith that keeps me and you standing tall.
Dear love; let us  join our hands and pray, with a tender kiss, with a grateful bless in our misty way, with gifts no mortal man could find, for one so treasured by her kind.

When I look at you

Deep where longing flow, where darkness fold wings and dreams fight for to glow, I see an endless universe .... in your eyes
Infinite has an end, unimaginable tender love need to mend, that I could touch every day even when i was blend,  
Deep where our sanctuary sits beneath the flesh, we feel a consuming loneliness
a soft hunger, a quiet thirst, an invisible erosion feeds on our feelings silently.
Yes... our lips are silent but they still whisper the willing of our desire and our pulsing of passion
Deep when our hearts lost some beats, when our bodies started to emits heat that will inflame the whole forbidden empire ... we start to taste the fire.
Deep in our veins ... there is no loss of love, loss of people, loss of trust or loss of belief... there is only "We" with all it's meanings, with renewable feelings.
Deep beneath our wounds, I hear the music of your beating heart, inking the most beautiful lyrics " look at me we will never apart"
Deep there... we pray to find the right way, to whisper like thunder, to fold our dreams to step away from anger, and ...
even the rain was our tears, we promise with no fears... to dance under the rain, 
Deep where longing flow, where darkness fold wings and dreams fight for to glow, I see an endless universe .... in your eyes

Till the end

Break the glass of your lies, be true.. be above,
Let the heart bleed... bleed the blood of love,
Taste the real wine of passion swinging in your vein,
with your inner-self, with your soul, come touch my skin
And I will write our story, with your silent ink
Read... read the words till the end, 
All the wounds, all the pain... only you can mend.

The spark..

Such a simple spark that ignites in our being, like the moment we realize that we got things to do,
The determination that we begin to trust, leads the road that we lost,
The bigger picture from a little one,
The very little thing that helps us to be,
The satisfying victory in which we've won true love,
The little but big spark that ignites in our being when a glance passes before our souls, the fragrance of the beloved is smelled

let me spin our soul in our heart

Life awakening when our soul giving, In every touch it landing with forgiving,
Trust our soul when it tells how this love can saving,  
Inside our heart there is a humming souls, Torment and spinning,
Asking, wondering... with this feelings where we are going.
Should I spin a coin to decide where to go,
If you doubt on your heart, take mine and I'll lay my trust on you,
For you to believe, for you to be never alone, 
with you... Even the sky is still blue, and If I never knew
Thousands stars still for you, the same stars at midnight. still shine you in daylight... with hopes around with you
Should I spin time in a clock, enough to tell you, our life just so short, Though hardness make it feels long
Life made of choices and chances, impossible if nothing hurts us, but the healers scattered more.. So whenever you have to decide
let me spin our soul in our heart... and our mind will tell us one day,
" what is the hell we do to this love"

Fog..

Day and night, exchanging darkness with light... The Fog defeat both Moon cry the stars, Sun deny the bright.. Both are alone and lonely, in this rainy hard journey,
as clouds covered the skies, and fog blind the eyes
The mist of love that flows in the air, Is felt in the heart if truly cares
And though only a fleeting chance, Still it was a great and fine romance,
Our love is fragile like the wind that blows, Streams of tenderness on the river that flows
As quiet connection still whispering softly, Across the fields and near the trees
They fight against this sudden end, as doubts emerge what cannot be mend.
And beneath time they lost, the repentance to this heart that they adore, An aching reality that ... our love is forever more.

Sad story

She thought he was a knight coming from the ages of ignorance, he thought she was a geek coming from the clan of deception, and they were both wrong... losing the melody of them precious song, dear feelings shed, pain hurt the body with shame in them head, craving for mercy... crying in bed,  
If life wasn't a sad story, why they got birth crying, and after so long journey they just dying,

She thought he was a knight coming from era of loyalty, he thought she was princess of modesty coming from royal love story, and they were both right... play away the melody of them precious song, dear feelings shed, longing hurt the body before even touched the head, craving for mercy... willingly in bed,  
If life is a love story, how we will share it before get dying,

See it's up to you, life is just the choices we take through the road, no matter if we were silent or shouting so loud, it's not craving for career, or jumping high barrier.. it was, is and will always be just love, because where there is love, life exist.. she isn't perfect, he also isn't perfect yet true love is two imperfect persons refuse to giving up on each others. 

nbmsdell@secmail.pro

Slaughters me till the bones

When the morning beam, gone.. letting me share the endless nights with hopeless dream, to come on,
When shall this silent of sense be cast, this dust of thoughts be laid at last, 
When the man of flesh and soul be slain, and the man of bones remain 
When this heart starts talk, these lungs painfully shout, asking me what is this humming brain think about, 
When we're proud and in power, hopping not for a lifetime.. just for togetherness even for little hour, we will tenderly seed the birth.. maybe not forever but at least it should last as long as earth.
When i send my angels into the west, to know where, when and even how my soul can't get rest
When I'll lie down in that cold... bed of dust; do you can bring our eternal seed to light, only then both bear we must, for all the morning will be the same as night,
When we flesh and soul still strong, why shall we suffer as a slaves so long, and before the fire of our sense decay, why can't we just blow the dust and clean it away.
When inside this beating heart you live alone, why you slaughters me till the bones.

Love me in silence

Maybe your true identity is what you fear, may be also it's beyond compare,
Maybe I told you the truth you denied to accept and refused to pare,
but still as you are think, still i feels, commitment and for Athens journey I'm getting prepare,
and while I truly love you, hurting me deeply becomes beyond repair.
Blind not in the eyes, it's those who can't see with them heart,
Distance my separates us, but you know, we aren't apart.
For you love me in silence, and i do see this as an art,

Shoo.. forget you

Shoo.. forget you, abandon you, neglect your feelings... we are a thousand miles away from those words. It is impossible for my heart to lean and love another one in this earth or another.
I'm sleepless, suffering from distance, 
I never asked you to show your love, to let me know in you care,
I'm not even willing to let you be fair,
I may forget your sins towards me, I may forget how you humiliating my dignity, but to forget you.. No I'm sorry I can't
Our love story has it's unforgettable unique memories, It's the days while i truly felt with my heart beats, It's the days which contain dreams came true and dreams still awaiting to come true.
My life before you appeared you owned a long ago, even the rest of my life still waiting your existence to be yours.
years passed as seconds in our love story, with all it's ups and downs,  all the sweet passions were visible even in our adversaries.
And you say, I will forget you, How .. while even we are sad, even we are in distance I love you more than yesterday.

Yes.. May be I'm sad, mad... may be I failed to be everything you hopped for, but in our story, 

separation, abandon, or even forget about each other's... not an options,

Theater

Life is a big theater, there are the actors, compars and directors...  Assistants and even producers.
Everyone needs a spirit of creativity, Everyone works to achieve a goal... But what makes successful work are the spirit of teamwork and a worthwhile story.
If you occupy one of these roles with no doubt you are creative .. If not .. don't regret, bring a chair and come sit next to me and let us enjoy the show, for only us whom paid for the tickets.