Life can only be understood backwards

The best way to find what matters the most is to lose something precious to you. and It's nice to look back in your past when you see it as a lesson, not as something to regret. You know when life gets stressful, never forget the things you should remember, and remember the things you should forget. Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards. Today I will. Pray more, worry less, laugh more, stress less, hug more and hurry less.
O,.. dear God, I woke up, I am healthy, I am alive, thank you. I apologize for all my complaining. I'm truly grateful for all you've done.

My angel.

You are my shadow, you are my rain, your are my lonely left only pain, you are my tears, you are my fears.. I'm restless even in my dreams.

Being slave to love.. is my free will.

Do we know what freedom is ..!
We are always see what we allow to see
We are always limited by bounds
We are always tied to something
We are always attracted to something
All of us should to die at the end; that's why we all are always limited by our lifetime, yet to be free .. completely free we need to never become a slaves to our own thinking and our own self. Understand that we are continuously changing, But...., in which way we will change is our free will.

I'm exactly where God wants me to be.

Things happen for a reason basically means that everything happens for good. All the things that happen to us in our lives are somewhere down the line, destined to happen.
Failures, turns and twists and adversities might break us down and lessen or morale completely. But even we should learn to take them in our stride and learn from every bad experience too. Tracey Gold had once remarked, “I don't believe things happen in vain. I believe they happen for a reason.” Everything that happens to us in our lives happens for good and teaches us a lesson. Perhaps one should learn from every kind of experience whether good or bad. People who keep their chin up even in the most testing circumstances can always end up making a lot out of their lives.
Believe me ... in our life Nothing happens by accident; you are exactly where God wants you to be.

lost hope

In the last month... I have suffered from burns in my body of the third degree. I fought my pain patiently by faith. And in the strongest times of my weakness I stood like anold lighthouse which wrestling those high waves of pain alone and bravery. But in moments of consciousness and perception... I was sure that the pain of losing one's last hope ... Will always remains more powerful in the smashing of my fading determination.

wounds.. never mend.

Somewhere far away, 
A star glows and hides behind the moon
The moon smiles and hides behind the clouds. Even the sun shines and hides behind a mountain.
Somewhere far far away.
Someone's heart whispers among voiceless opening seas, Tears flow down in streams of silent waters... When.. Memories rise beyond this helpless skies... And a true heart whispers cryingly in reply ... You he who still dreaming.. You gotta awake up, .. gotta .. awake up.

Fading strength,

The worst feeling in the world is knowing you did the best you could and it still wasn't good enough, Sometimes we all need someone who believes in us just a little bit more than we do ourselves in order for us to become stronger but, as much as we grave in this life or another What we allow, is what will continue. You know..! Sometimes I miss The old, Happy Me but i believe that; from pain something will grow from all i'm going through. And it will be me..

Unforgettable

Never forget that three types of people in your life.. Who helped you, who left you and who put you in your difficult time
Never forget that being good to people is like being a Goal Keeper, no matter how many goals you save, people .. will only remember the ones you Missed..!

trust in god.. "118672"

We forgive seeking for getting comfort from bile,
We forget hoping for new innocent clear smile,
We keep silent because there is no benefit in the argument to find,
We ignoring for there is nothing that will hold back reproach can find,
We are patient because our trust in the Creator has no limits,
We all knew that ...
The self always covetous yet the reasons are always failing.
The self is lost between despair and growling,
Do not be sad whenever the world shrinking around you while it grows wider for others,
And look at the moon and this darkness skies how they became more magnificence together,

Wounds

Wounds are a city of pain... You screams with the last breath of your fading determination.... And only the echo of your tears replying.

Every human being living on this earth hope for something
Poor people hope that one day money will come their way
The rich folks hope to multiply their assets before long
Several men hope for a wife who is as caring as their mother
Many women hope for husbands who is as loving as their father
Children always hope for parents who will give them everything
Bankers hope that everybody will pay their mortgages in time
Thieves and robbers hope the police should stop harassing them
While the police hope that every person will be law-abiding
Priests and clerics hope that everyone will live a sacred life
Experienced nurses hope the doctors will treat them with respect
Medical doctors hope their patients will recuperate faster
Careful drivers hope that other drivers will drive like them
Teachers hope all students will do their home-work regularly
While the students hope the teachers will give them easy exams,
Farmers always hope for good and abundant harvest
Lawyers hope more and more people will need their services
Fishermen hope that more and more fishes run into their nets
All politicians hope to get elected and re-elected
Employers hope their workers will volunteer for overtime
Even the mechanics always hope more people will buy used-vehicles
The point is .. Do you honestly can Distinguish the malignant and the good in your hopes...!
What are your personal hopes on this earth..! Is it still personal hopes..!
So... What are your hopes for your family ?
What are your hopes for your country ?
 What are your hopes for your environment.. Do you knew lately you will realize that the day we humans stop hoping on this earth..... Will be the day we cease to be members of this beautiful planet,

Through the sky.

Your love... Is love without ending as vast as the sea, mercy divine I'm sure forever it will be. infinite grace it has no end, eternal redemption the heavens you'll rend.
And all these flow down from a mountain so high, That it reaches the heavens.. Yes to heaven and bursts through the sky.
When I survey.. Into the heavens above, I'm awed by the vastness... I'm awed by only your love.
In this earth or another one day i'll stand on eternities shore,
How vast is your love...! I'm sure there is no more.
Only then ... I'll know how vast is the sea,
Only then ... I'll know that I Loved you eternally.

pain

I can't measure the pain fill my sight and that's the things I fear at night
Every time I try to lie on this strange bed, only pain I dare do dread
To stay safe, I hide under this sheet.. For I don't want pain to get more of my feet
Scary shadows are cast on my wall, by the nightlight in this unknown hall
Starting to sweat from the mind into the heat, I can't feel my hand, my leg even the heart sometimes it refuses begin to beat.
So scared and alone I want to cry, but if I make a noise I also might die
I feel like I have been hiding for a week and they will not find what they seek.
Waiting and hiding, is there nothing at all?
What are these things against my wall?
Peaking out with just one eye, Doctor and ...a nurse I still do spy
Maybe they aren't bad and not mean, o .. That is what it's starting to seem
Getting out of the covers and feeling cold, I dear for something I can hold
Starting to weep and wondering if only…Do I'll die... lonely ?
I hold those ideas tightly against my bleeding head, then I got back to This cold bed.

From wherever you are,

In the grave of life, we taking ourselves down pathways of lonely moments, searching for meaning, love or companionship... Remembering Being let down at every turn, abandoned, left alone to fend for ourselves... To be not who we used to be but to be who we are now,
Truncated beyond belief, hiding behind sorrow's tears, 
Afraid of.. moving beyond it's hurtful limits,
Afraid of... the unknown awaiting us in the darkness ahead, 
Then in silence, breathlessly our souls keep replying ... Please, please..
Please come hold me tight... my sweet Angel of true and loving light.

Nameless ..

So strange..  How in a second our wounds can mend,  as far as our mind and heart can comprehend... It is the most caring heart at hand.. and the sweetest mind to understand
O.. that tender heart inside you, the understanding attitude, even awaiting you in gratitude.. to bloom and reach the helping hand too.
O..  That feeling is the complete formula, between you and the other constantly, an ocean of flooding emotions.. Melody.. Our own tempo, no matter it be slow or fast, a constant calm feel, easy to mend, never to bend.. And eternally will last.

Summer Rain

Poor heart feeling pain, when in summer it hears the ringing of rain,
It rains in my heart as on town and on mart, pours down longings that start.. to reign in my heart..!
O, soft ringing of rain.. It rains without reason, in hurt heart fears have lease on.
What..?
no season for treason..!
Do I grieve without reason..!
What most hurts me, that eternally I'll wait.. Don't ask me Why.. For I was not knowing, my sad fate,
I'm dying without love, without Even hate, For on my heart... lies... deadweight.

Very short story

A dog rushes out of the house upon a negligently opened door
it rushed further into the the careless gate into the busy road of the city
wagging its tail jumping happily over its newly found freedom
until it is run over by a mindless truck heading towards the forest
and the puppy lies crushed dead on the busy road where passersby do not mind what is happening
and you who had carelessly opened the door still reads a book while munching on fish chips and white wine inside your lonely room.

The game

Into the light we aim ourselves away from darkness we sweard, but i guess we both were blinded, let us settle midway and taste the bitterness of letting behind.
Into dusk let us toast this drink of gray.. I... I have spoken my lines that is what i am forced to do, and you have spoken your lines too and that is what they are telling you to do.
you cannot be my comfort anymore ... distance are not arms and distance is cold, feeling less.. o so poor.
your words are mere words like faces without names... i have spoken and you have spoken
now i am going back to sleep... it is done.. Didn't you know... There is no more games.

In love graves

 I need no ink to paint the pain... For when we passed by their graves... Those dead feelings there,
Winners or losers... There is nobody still care.. Because in the dark... We couldn't see, Who had gained.. The victory.

Faithfully

Notwithstanding that I'm beneath the darkness, but I'm not miserable because light full of my heart and all of my sensation, 
I'm not fears this gloomy life, because dawn ... always will find its way to reborn in the womb of darkness,
I never missed you... I never lost me because both living there... where dreams and fairy tails giving birth and breath faithfully.

when the spring knocks souls doors.

One of us was so selfish in his love, one of us had been sold for free when thought he was above.
Who had lost dreaming, who still can't bearing, who was the wound and who was spreading fake feeling.
i haven't coming back for blaming you, i haven't  come back to recall our memories too, but i do miss you when the spring knocks souls doors.

Eternity

You heart of colors I can not find to it a name when all your feelings are thread on that weaken string, didn't you knew that; you are to me like the life's burning flame that through thousand life in eternity always... will sing,
If ever you have thoughts clearly to see... My heart is whisper and you softly will hear, when always you feel me ... close to your ear,
I love you
I love you
Echoes to clear the road on.. Footsteps to pass and come to my memory and my existence, all is of honest feelings .. and what is now gone.

Give me hope to live

There will be a time when time of pride will go through darkness of lost years and dying,
Like vanishing footsteps lost into winter's snow and rain from the cloud will flow when the sky crying,
No hope will rise us to a new born bloom for life on earth shall all be doom when eternally on the darkness will come with dust of the earth and killing,
Be there for years... hundred more and some ... and never to leave it's death empty filling,
Listen to the wind no ears will hear only your empty gardens and space
Life’s then lost and dried every tear only the silence remains and our abandon place.

Earth Day..

In a world where money has the power to undermine human principles, rapping innocence, enslave weak souls morality.
In a world where people planting hatred, feeds it on the tears of the weak and enjoy watching them reaps the pain.
In a world full of pretenders, where masks becomes personal fashion, honesty rabidly vanished when we started to deny the truth and believe in lying.
How could we respect our environment and adapt with it..!

When I feel

When I feel, I feels like my heart still aches with sadness, secret tears still flow, what it meant to lose you, no-one will ever know...
The days we spent together, the happy times we knew, are all lived again so often, in my memories of you.
Don't ask me if I feel for feeling is like rose, eager for water to grow, when all the facts said, whom left ... And who fights with demons And never let go.

In a moment of silence

In a moment of silence the shadows of your memories grabbed the senses of our days together, they awakening the willingness of longing.. They flam the fire in my heart and bring a tear into my eyes.
In a moment of silence the memories of our past hunting my existence, reminded me with our heavenly unconditional love, with the pain I've suffered joyfully in my emotions, even the bitterness of your abandonment.
In a moment of silence I remembered how I was unhappy and ignorant .. How I was believed that I could forget you.. How I bleed precious tears for nothing..
In a moment of silence the shadows of your memories whispered to my mind and I grabbed the senses of your existence, asking me to run from my pain and suffering to rest in your hands.
Why..
Why after I hardly used to accept your abandonment,
Why after I forgot how to dream, and lost the hope,
They awakening the longing to your smile in my eyes,  they awakening the willingness to hear your voice, they even awakening jealous, suspicious and doubt... Leaving my heart melted with the pain of it's moan.
In a moment of silence..  Night become so cold, lonely and long.. Recalling what we share together.. Groaning with your name silently.

swimming in fantasy world.

Our life begins to an end the moment we start being silent about the things that matter.!
Our Life will keep bringing us the same test, over and over and over again, til we pass it...! 
Our life becomes real only when we begin to face and solve our own problems. Until then we only swim in circles, in a large fantasy world which tends to make us very tired of living.

into the center of bitterness.

Don't ask..  Just don't ask.. It's
Fair enough to know that the same life which we fail to share our bodies joyfully in togetherness is the same life we do shared our beautiful unreachable dreams.
Don't ask..  Just don't ask.. I was designed to succeed not because vanity or selfish ego, but I'm denying failure because I did all I can do without saving any power to step back from achieving my dreams.
Don't ask..
Don't
For desperate buried my hopes under the sea of tears.

There is nothing to discover out of my shell for.. The world outside was full of light, there was no fear, no hate, no night,
love and life were free to all, no one could hear the darkness call,
The world outside is colder now, I feel the fear, the hateful row,
The world outside is darker now, I see it flow, I hear it's vow,
I hear no darkness, But feel much fear, in sadness I somehow shed a tear,
love is scarce, so very rare, I hear the darkness, feel it's snare,
The world outside grows darker still, I'm losing hope, I’ve no free will
The darkness grows ever stronger, I wonder if I’ll last much longer,
The world outside is black and cold, my very soul feels weak and old,
I gaze into the shadowed lake,my eyes, my hands, seem somehow fake,
The world outside has but one light, one tiny glimmer through the blight,
a fire burning deep within, I feel it's warmth throughout my skin.

I..

I'm the slave he who his gain sins, and his wishful thinking and desires deprived him of turn in forgiveness,
I'm the slave he who became wound up, sad and dark.. From his slips, faults and mistakes had so many concerns and bleak, 
I'm the slave he who written on him... Records of deeds When he forgotten about the observer,
I'm the offensive slave he who hiddenness  disobeyed,... So why I can't signify a  desire for lamentation,
I'm the additional slave he who wasted his life,  when I don't fend  my youthfulness, hoariness and even the decline of my life. 
I'm the drowned slave in the deep of my seas, ... Blazing away perhaps I'll find responsive,
I'm the disordered slave with.. his sins, and I fold what was hold .. Plead desire eagerly, beseech for my curative,
I'm the stray slave he who has wronged himself..  And here I comes in front of your heavenly gates.. turning ... To confiss.

Expansive lesson.

At some point while we're ageing... 
We will know that respect is more important than love,
We will know that understanding is more important  than commensurability,
We will know that trust is more important than jealousy,
We will know that patience is the most evidence for your sacrifice, 
We will know that the most perfect device for Lie detector... Is time. 
At some point while we're ageing... 
We will abandon everything behind, our innocence smiles, our happy and painful stories, our tranquality, our calmality, our pain, our passions and even our noisiness... Nothing will still remains but the remembrance..
Just try as hard as you can to be a good memories in the hearts of all who will remember you.

Somewhere nevertheless here

Sealing every night with my memories and convince myself that, I am ready to move on, start a new day, away from here, from pain, from being gain, far far away.
Every thing I do, everything I say, is rewritten in someone else's way. 
Only to hurt me and make me look bad, to try and damage any relationship I've had. 
My family has been broken and torn apart, It's left a giant hole in my desperate heart.. 
No words can describe what I'm feeling right now.. No one to help me, I couldn't ask any how. 
I only know this place isn't for me, I must go on and see what I can be. 
I only want happiness and loved ones near,  I must go somewhere but somewhere isn't nevertheless here.!

Seeding silence

life without you, is hopeless, i feel so lonely, so pathetic, so helpless,
life without you is meaningless, my life is colorless, loveless, lifeless
life without you while we have nothing but sowing the seeds of silence,
what do you think shall we reap...?

Portray

The perfect combination of music and of words,
Give you a sensation that by the Soul is heard.
Music, Words and Soul equal Poetry
Complicated ? ... no.. Not at all.
for if you don't feel it, you can't write it,
Come back another day,
You have to feel, deeply feel,
What you write,
What you say.... Is heart portray,
You just can't fool poetry, it doesn't work that way,
So, don't be discouraged, and while you still breathing.. try again some other day.

Remember

More love ... less hate,
Love is what our souls,
Are supposed to be made of,
So if in you there is no love to give,
then .. You.. yourself... have no soul.

Discovering loneliness

But Life separates lovers, not always together do they stay,
And emotionally they parted... Never again, to find them way,
As the rivers overflowed with sadness... Emotionally, that very day! 
They never found each other, ... How can it be?
That all the love he has in him, Was never given to another,
Only loneliness discovered ... and a lot of tears not yet cried.

Let me love you silently

Something magic happens, When you write poetically,
Doors just seem to closed, but our spirits feeling free.
Something seems to flower, inside, poetically,
And it makes you happy..
And you are still away from where you have to be..
Come, Let me capture the essence of your mind,
Where I will certainly find,
A Spiritual Bond for love isn't only eyes,
The Mind, the Spirit, The union of the Souls,
As hands intertwine... This electrifying Feeling is mine,
All mine, when we're together ... We loved each other, 
Even though we never spoke,
Love has the power, That even silence graves can't revoke,

After great pain, a formal feeling comes

Learning is making mistakes... but should I cry over my mistakes,
There comes a day in everyone's life, where they must choose between,
If they want to live or die
I personally chose to live but suffered the consequences,
I am depressed
I am not happy
I want to be reborn
I want to choose again
I want to choose to be sad... for then I may be happy
Maybe life works in reverse
Maybe one must make the choice of what they don't want in life in order to receive what they want
I will explore this new theory
I will wait patiently... Until the day comes
When I can say I am truly full of glory.

With forbidden hope I'm waiting

Boats, shores and all the blue can't distract me from the way I feel about you.
As the tide swells, I dwell ... in that cave by the sea's edge, on all those missed moments when I could have,
should I have to expressed the feelings verses percolating through my heart,  when I sat countless of times near by you and on the far side too, hiding behind bones and cartilage because I wasn't prepared to crumble like a brittle seashell
in case you said, that your heart was deny the truth and believe in lies, now with forbidden hope I'm waiting you to come, to ignite that fading flame again.

Stillness ..

If you are a star, that will bring light to my empty life...  Never fade out, never leave me, for your love will never be lost,  
But if you are a dream, please turn of the light so I can live in land of dreams. 
Never dawn,
Never end... Stay.. Stay inside me so I can love you as long as I live. 
To my own path everything is dark, and my dreams had been never met reality, but now..  You are there and I'm reborn everyday.. My end and my start my life.. You are. 
If you are a star, that will bring light to my empty life...  Never fade out, never leave me, for your love will never be lost

Autumn rain

When the winter knock our doors .. When memories in our sadness minds recalls..  When the rain wash our old streets and our vanished past wishes will call, 
I found a lost smile over my lips, All the paths that have faded under my foot call out my scattered footsteps, All the nights that my heart died waiting for appearance of the moon even in the eclipse, 
I didn't come to blame you for what we missed. I even didn't come to awaken memories which once we've been blessed, But sometimes I long for you.... When winter is knocking on my doors with the tears of pain rolling down our dreams list. 

Commitment has a price,

Give freely but never let anybody used you,  
Love but do not give the opportunity to anyone to hurt you, 
Give your trust to whoever you want. But do not sell your sword,
For in this fake life everything you've learned ... cost you dearly,
I saw the hole in the ship from day one but... I sailed with you and thought that love made miracles, 
Then the remainder of you is shed under the banner of commitment and loyalty.

You are my happiness.

Happiness to a broken heart, 
Is like water to a tree.
So be careful from the start, 
Lest all happiness should flee.
Little things somehow add up, 
To something big someday.
So make sure to fill her cup, 
With affectionate displays.
Don't be a fool, it just won't do, 
To set her needs aside.
She needs to hear it, just like you, 
About that love you have inside.
Happiness can only come, 
If you open wide your door, 
The little things, that seem to some, 
Will add up more and more.
Happiness is the reward, 
You work for all your days.
So start stocking up your cupboard, 
And be quick to mend your ways. 

The more I know about people,

Happiness.. O, 
Happiness was call you my home again, was walking you on the rain, was finding the pleasure beneath the pain.
Happiness was the faces I longed to see, was my heart beats being free, was once more "I" means "we"... But alas,  the more I know about people, the more I respect my loneliness. 

Hope..

Hope is dreaming of tommorow, 
Hope is simmering under sorrow,
Hope is sparkles when tears in our eyes,
Hope is a beautiful things never dies,
Hope is as light as a feather,
Hope keeps all of us together,
Hope is unique will and free of cost,
hope is the last thing I ever lost,
Hope is bright shining light which keeps darkness at the bay
Hope is gentle cold breeze on a hot summer day
Hope is to remain positive when going gets tough
Hope is seeking more when others think you had enough.

Black maze.

Show to me your silhouette friend .. and I shall whisper to you a tale of the night,
Down through my darkness you shall descend.. Into a crevice devoid of light,
Where shadows twitch and dark doth creep
Where nightmares prowl while daydreams sleep
Can you retrace your own steps back..!
Through this maze so depressingly black..!
Focus on me your saviour so bright, and I shall regale you with fables at nighttimes end,
Can you not cling to this perfect delight..!
Or at days end shall you vanish from my sight..!
Ascend through the darkness up into the light, and Into the heavens as shadows descend,
Where vividness reigns and brightness soars,
Where dreams come true for evermore,

kingdom of blood.

Imprisoned in my kingdom of allegiance, like a rat in a cage, with a hopeless ignition explodes into rage.
Poverty's chains cut with mocking intent, desensitized humans with anger to vent
To offer a dream, but a nightmare provide,
To build up hope then strip away pride,
To trample the weak into the dust.... is to set a foundation for greed and lust
The rat is a fighter, the worm always turns, where once there was apathy, pride now returns.
The lesser will rise with fear as their friend, from the sewer of life you can only ascend.
To offer no dream, and nowhere to run
To Build up hope in the form of a gun
To trample the good and the decent within... is to set up a struggle that no one can win,
Man is a lover and killer entwined, to be an extreme is to conquer the blind.
Where one man falls another now stands, ready for death ... with blood on his hands.

Then I met you

Before i met you
There was a time when I was whole, in body, mind, heart and soul,
When I was flawless without seam, a fairy tale a perfect dream,
A single piece with no divide, with faith, hope and love inside,
Complete, entire and intact. All I need, nothing lacked
Then I met you
Now I find that I am shattered, broken bruised and badly battered,
Cut asunder callously, by your fair hand so savagely,
Smashed and torn totality ceases, left abandoned in a million pieces.
I feel as though my head is cracked and all I am is fading fast, insanity has now attacked, erasing present, future and past.
I feel as though my heart has died and rots inside my broken chest, polluting all I'm inside, and spreading to devour .... the rest.
I feel as though the end is nigh and I shall burn in fire bright, in pain is how I now will die and in the darkness I gives you light.  

Wish

Wish I was a butterfly
With colorful wings soaring up high
Gracefully singing into the air
With such silent notes, songs never heard
No one could guess where I will lead
No one could notice the heart that weeps
For such soundless voice only tears will show
Fading as I may... they will never ever know