Friday, April 20, 2018

swimming in fantasy world.

Our life begins to an end the moment we start being silent about the things that matter.!
Our Life will keep bringing us the same test, over and over and over again, til we pass it...! 
Our life becomes real only when we begin to face and solve our own problems. Until then we only swim in circles, in a large fantasy world which tends to make us very tired of living.

Wednesday, April 18, 2018

into the center of bitterness.

Don't ask..  Just don't ask.. It's
Fair enough to know that the same life which we fail to share our bodies joyfully in togetherness is the same life we do shared our beautiful unreachable dreams.
Don't ask..  Just don't ask.. I was designed to succeed not because vanity or selfish ego, but I'm denying failure because I did all I can do without saving any power to step back from achieving my dreams.
Don't ask..
Don't
For desperate buried my hopes under the sea of tears.

Friday, April 06, 2018



There is nothing to discover out of my shell for.. The world outside was full of light, there was no fear, no hate, no night,
love and life were free to all, no one could hear the darkness call,
The world outside is colder now, I feel the fear, the hateful row,

The world outside is darker now, I see it flow, I hear it's vow,
I hear no darkness, But feel much fear, in sadness I somehow shed a tear,

love is scarce, so very rare, I hear the darkness, feel it's snare,
The world outside grows darker still, I'm losing hope, I’ve no free will

The darkness grows ever stronger, I wonder if I’ll last much longer,
The world outside is black and cold, my very soul feels weak and old,
I gaze into the shadowed lake,my eyes, my hands, seem somehow fake,
The world outside has but one light, one tiny glimmer through the blight,
a fire burning deep within, I feel it's warmth throughout my skin.

Tuesday, April 03, 2018

I..

I'm the slave he who his gain sins, and his wishful thinking and desires deprived him of turn in forgiveness,
I'm the slave he who became wound up, sad and dark.. From his slips, faults and mistakes had so many concerns and bleak, 
I'm the slave he who written on him... Records of deeds When he forgotten about the observer,
I'm the offensive slave he who hiddenness  disobeyed,... So why I can't signify a  desire for lamentation,
I'm the additional slave he who wasted his life,  when I don't fend  my youthfulness, hoariness and even the decline of my life. 
I'm the drowned slave in the deep of my seas, ... Blazing away perhaps I'll find responsive,
I'm the disordered slave with.. his sins, and I fold what was hold .. Plead desire eagerly, beseech for my curative,
I'm the stray slave he who has wronged himself..  And here I comes in front of your heavenly gates.. turning ... To confiss.

Monday, April 02, 2018

Expansive lesson.

At some point while we're ageing... 
We will know that respect is more important than love,
We will know that understanding is more important  than commensurability,
We will know that trust is more important than jealousy,
We will know that patience is the most evidence for your sacrifice, 
We will know that the most perfect device for Lie detector... Is time. 
At some point while we're ageing... 
We will abandon everything behind, our innocence smiles, our happy and painful stories, our tranquality, our calmality, our pain, our passions and even our noisiness... Nothing will still remains but the remembrance..
Just try as hard as you can to be a good memories in the hearts of all who will remember you.

Sunday, April 01, 2018

Somewhere nevertheless here

Sealing every night with my memories and convince myself that, I am ready to move on, start a new day, away from here, from pain, from being gain, far far away.
Every thing I do, everything I say, is rewritten in someone else's way. 
Only to hurt me and make me look bad, to try and damage any relationship I've had. 
My family has been broken and torn apart, It's left a giant hole in my desperate heart.. 
No words can describe what I'm feeling right now.. No one to help me, I couldn't ask any how. 
I only know this place isn't for me, I must go on and see what I can be. 
I only want happiness and loved ones near,  I must go somewhere but somewhere isn't nevertheless here.!

Wednesday, March 28, 2018

Seeding silence

life without you, is hopeless, i feel so lonely, so pathetic, so helpless,
life without you is meaningless, my life is colorless, loveless, lifeless
life without you while we have nothing but sowing the seeds of silence,
what do you think shall we reap...?

Monday, March 26, 2018

Portray

The perfect combination of music and of words,
Give you a sensation that by the Soul is heard.
Music, Words and Soul equal Poetry
Complicated ? ... no.. Not at all.

for if you don't feel it, you can't write it,
Come back another day,
You have to feel, deeply feel,
What you write,
What you say.... Is heart portray,
You just can't fool poetry, it doesn't work that way,
So, don't be discouraged, and while you still breathing.. try again some other day.

Remember



More love ... less hate,
Love is what our souls,
Are supposed to be made of,
So if in you there is no love to give,
then .. You.. yourself... have no soul.

Discovering loneliness

But Life separates lovers, not always together do they stay,
And emotionally they parted... Never again, to find them way,
As the rivers overflowed with sadness... Emotionally, that very day! 

They never found each other, ... How can it be?
That all the love he has in him, Was never given to another,
Only loneliness discovered ... and a lot of tears not yet cried.

Let me love you silently

Something magic happens, When you write poetically,
Doors just seem to closed, but our spirits feeling free.

Something seems to flower, inside, poetically,
And it makes you happy..
And you are still away from where you have to be..

Come, Let me capture the essence of your mind,
Where I will certainly find,
A Spiritual Bond for love isn't only eyes,
The Mind, the Spirit, The union of the Souls,
As hands intertwine... This electrifying Feeling is mine,
All mine, when we're together ... We loved each other, 

Even though we never spoke,
Love has the power, That even silence graves can't revoke,

Sunday, March 25, 2018

After great pain, a formal feeling comes

Learning is making mistakes... but should I cry over my mistakes,
There comes a day in everyone's life, where they must choose between,
If they want to live or die
I personally chose to live but suffered the consequences,
I am depressed
I am not happy
I want to be reborn
I want to choose again
I want to choose to be sad... for then I may be happy
Maybe life works in reverse
Maybe one must make the choice of what they don't want in life in order to receive what they want
I will explore this new theory
I will wait patiently... Until the day comes
When I can say I am truly full of glory.


Wednesday, March 21, 2018

With forbidden hope I'm waiting

Boats, shores and all the blue can't distract me from the way I feel about you.
As the tide swells, I dwell ... in that cave by the sea's edge, on all those missed moments when I could have,
should I have to expressed the feelings verses percolating through my heart,  when I sat countless of times near by you and on the far side too, hiding behind bones and cartilage because I wasn't prepared to crumble like a brittle seashell
in case you said, that your heart was deny the truth and believe in lies, now with forbidden hope I'm waiting you to come, to ignite that fading flame again.

Monday, March 19, 2018

Stillness ..

If you are a star, that will bring light to my empty life...  Never fade out, never leave me, for your love will never be lost,  
But if you are a dream, please turn of the light so I can live in land of dreams. 
Never dawn,
Never end... Stay.. Stay inside me so I can love you as long as I live. 
To my own path everything is dark, and my dreams had been never met reality, but now..  You are there and I'm reborn everyday.. My end and my start my life.. You are. 
If you are a star, that will bring light to my empty life...  Never fade out, never leave me, for your love will never be lost

Saturday, March 17, 2018

Autumn rain

When the winter knock our doors .. When memories in our sadness minds recalls..  When the rain wash our old streets and our vanished past wishes will call, 
I found a lost smile over my lips, All the paths that have faded under my foot call out my scattered footsteps, All the nights that my heart died waiting for appearance of the moon even in the eclipse, 
I didn't come to blame you for what we missed. I even didn't come to awaken memories which once we've been blessed, But sometimes I long for you.... When winter is knocking on my doors with the tears of pain rolling down our dreams list. 

Commitment has a price,

Give freely but never let anybody used you,  
Love but do not give the opportunity to anyone to hurt you, 
Give your trust to whoever you want. But do not sell your sword,
For in this fake life everything you've learned ... cost you dearly,
I saw the hole in the ship from day one but... I sailed with you and thought that love made miracles, 
Then the remainder of you is shed under the banner of commitment and loyalty.

Saturday, March 03, 2018

You are my happiness.

Happiness to a broken heart, 
Is like water to a tree.
So be careful from the start, 
Lest all happiness should flee.
Little things somehow add up, 
To something big someday.
So make sure to fill her cup, 
With affectionate displays.
Don't be a fool, it just won't do, 
To set her needs aside.
She needs to hear it, just like you, 
About that love you have inside.
Happiness can only come, 
If you open wide your door, 
The little things, that seem to some, 
Will add up more and more.
Happiness is the reward, 
You work for all your days.
So start stocking up your cupboard, 
And be quick to mend your ways. 

Friday, March 02, 2018

The more I know about people,



Happiness.. O, 
Happiness was call you my home again, was walking you on the rain, was finding the pleasure beneath the pain.
Happiness was the faces I longed to see, was my heart beats being free, was once more "I" means "we"... But alas,  the more I know about people, the more I respect my loneliness. 

Thursday, March 01, 2018

Hope..

Hope is dreaming of tommorow, 
Hope is simmering under sorrow,
Hope is sparkles when tears in our eyes,
Hope is a beautiful things never dies,
Hope is as light as a feather,
Hope keeps all of us together,
Hope is unique will and free of cost,
hope is the last thing I ever lost,
Hope is bright shining light which keeps darkness at the bay
Hope is gentle cold breeze on a hot summer day
Hope is to remain positive when going gets tough
Hope is seeking more when others think you had enough.

Monday, February 26, 2018

Black maze.

Show to me your silhouette friend .. and I shall whisper to you a tale of the night,
Down through my darkness you shall descend.. Into a crevice devoid of light,
Where shadows twitch and dark doth creep
Where nightmares prowl while daydreams sleep
Can you retrace your own steps back..!
Through this maze so depressingly black..!
Focus on me your saviour so bright, and I shall regale you with fables at nighttimes end,
Can you not cling to this perfect delight..!
Or at days end shall you vanish from my sight..!
Ascend through the darkness up into the light, and Into the heavens as shadows descend,
Where vividness reigns and brightness soars,
Where dreams come true for evermore,

kingdom of blood.


Imprisoned in my kingdom of allegiance, like a rat in a cage, with a hopeless ignition explodes into rage.
Poverty's chains cut with mocking intent, desensitized humans with anger to vent
To offer a dream, but a nightmare provide,
To build up hope then strip away pride,
To trample the weak into the dust.... is to set a foundation for greed and lust
The rat is a fighter, the worm always turns, where once there was apathy, pride now returns.
The lesser will rise with fear as their friend, from the sewer of life you can only ascend.
To offer no dream, and nowhere to run
To Build up hope in the form of a gun
To trample the good and the decent within... is to set up a struggle that no one can win,

Man is a lover and killer entwined, to be an extreme is to conquer the blind.
Where one man falls another now stands, ready for death ... with blood on his hands.

Saturday, February 24, 2018

Then I met you

Before i met you
There was a time when I was whole, in body, mind, heart and soul,
When I was flawless without seam, a fairy tale a perfect dream,
A single piece with no divide, with faith, hope and love inside,
Complete, entire and intact. All I need, nothing lacked
Then I met you
Now I find that I am shattered, broken bruised and badly battered,
Cut asunder callously, by your fair hand so savagely,
Smashed and torn totality ceases, left abandoned in a million pieces.

I feel as though my head is cracked and all I am is fading fast, insanity has now attacked, erasing present, future and past.
I feel as though my heart has died and rots inside my broken chest, polluting all I'm inside, and spreading to devour .... the rest.
I feel as though the end is nigh and I shall burn in fire bright, in pain is how I now will die and in the darkness I gives you light.  

Saturday, February 17, 2018

Wish

Wish I was a butterfly
With colorful wings soaring up high
Gracefully singing into the air
With such silent notes, songs never heard
No one could guess where I will lead
No one could notice the heart that weeps
For such soundless voice only tears will show
Fading as I may... they will never ever know

Friday, February 16, 2018

Do you..!

Do you feel what I feel.. Yes..  NO!
I wish I could let it all go,
But it really isn't that easy,
Have you ever had to sit in the cold freez_ing,
Wanting to be awaken by a special healing,
Just let pain go freely,
Too bad nothing in this world is free,
Not even your freedom of speech,
So i'll do like Martin Luther King,
I'll let freedom ring.

Pretenders

You took my fears away,
And made them true,
You took my love away, and ripped my heart out too,
You took my laughter away, and my happiness too,
And let all my sadness, letting tears get through,
The rest of me that was left, also left with you,
I lost my self , when I lost you.

Now am I regret.. Definitely no, 
For at first sight.. You weren't true.

Homelessness

Home is a dim, half remembered thought, 
Like a quest of old, by knights long sought.
That humanity, for an ideal, furiously fought.
Home only a dim and faded dream, 
Like leaves carried rapidly by a stream.
That bring to mind, memories, so serene.
Home a place to finally rest my weary feet, 
And under that old live oak, take a shady seat.
And at last, finally, once more feel complete.
Home is where my heart should be, 
I hope it went there, when I set it free.
I pray that it's there, wating for me.

Thursday, February 15, 2018

What was the price

Being sorry can be very hard when we're overwhelmed with pride, but sometimes our pride must take a fall before we lose out, and when we have to say sorry we should mean it from our soul, for a meaningless sorry is like a broken promise to the heart.
And it only hurts more in the end, bringing bitter resentment, and leading to the loss of a love that should be eternal, bringing us back down to earth, to that unbearable ironic dust from the fairytale world of our mind, With a pain that is maddening, physical and sometimes critical.
The heart is weeping tears of blood for the pain that you've caused to others, And it's crying out useless apologies to our mind, pleading for forgiveness for our unfortunate outbursts.
I never meant, in a million years, to be so unkind, I have made mistakes in the past but never as serious as this to be punished in my heart, and I know I will only have myself to blame if you leave, and that scares me more than I've ever been scared in my life, for you're my true motivation, the only real thing in which I believe.
Everything else is just a fantasy to my egotistical ideals, It's always been me, me, me for far too long, and lately I haven't given even a passing thought to your concerns, I let them all fly past me, but now I know I was wrong.
You were reaching out to me in your time of uncertainty and sorrow, While all I cared about was me and what was mine,and as I watch you pack your bags from my fairytale story with tears streaming down my cheeks..  Too late, I feel all the pain shrinking in two words "too late".
And all that's left for me to do is say sorry in a sincere way, With an apology that comes from deep inside my soul for me for you and for the love we lost.
It's all I have left to offer for your is a silent love and eternal loyalty,
Now all I have left of you are the memories of the goodness I have lost, And that loss brings a sadness every time I think of your unknown name, And my heart yearns to be able to turn back the hands of time, To correct the mistakes I've made and start all over again.
So please take time to think about what I've said, as it comes from the heart, Take time and try to forgive me and I'll try to forgive you, and if you can't, then cast me out of your life never to return, and I'll hang my head in shame for the rest of my life.

Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Her heart

O, my heart.. It's me.. You are my own heart, don't be afraid, answer me..  Are you still love her..! 
Does her love still beating inside you, then you aren't my heart but you're her heart, 
How can you accept humbly her stab treachery in reverence, 
How can you condone her arrogance, her thanklessness in a robe of weakness tears, you aren't my heart you are a dagger beneath my ribs.
Do you even knew about what happened..! 
Do you even knew about the blood flowed from my eyes..!
She brought me from the edge and threw me into dust, She took my vigilance and never gave me tranquility, My steps fluttered, my wishes lost, She crushed my resolve even the tears melted my eyelid, my lips forgot how to smile, then finally I didn't know if I live in the awakening of my death or in the nap of my life. 
The despair went away after all the wishes dried out, My life has become as you see it is neither darkness nor light, all what was before just vanished even I lost the man I used to be, And now I'm in the clouds wrestling her fire and the abandonment. and painfully I wonder why you still attracts me to love has no conscience, and to where it'll take us I don't know for I can't know our destiny.
She smashed me.. Destroyed me.. Because I love her, and now her love still beating inside you, then you aren't my heart no more you're her heart.. Her heart. 

Does really love is like a war..!

War seems like thrilled woman in the beginning which seeking beauty and fascination for all the ignorant, until it rages and its destruction has increased, She returned like an old woman who has no lover nor seeker...  Just a drinkers with shaving head and repudiated... Disgusting to sniffing or kissing.
Don't ever think that love is like a war for only then I will be sure that you neither know Anything about love nor about war.

The misery turns innocence into cruelty

If only you could hear my sorrow, I dare your happiness to me will borrow, How you wanted to keep me for nothing to waiting, My soul drowned from lying, to myself with thought of dying, without you now to see... what a pityful sight of trying. 
If loving you is sorrow, then why can't I leave you free to your morrow, If moments of life in you like flying, Then I don't ever want to wake up frightened and crying. 
To see my little angels grow, Wish them smile and tears may glow, with heart so down and torn, of a love that poured like rain, No change can ever reign
and if die, would you still be there..!
like the cry of the rain, would you still hear..!
O please don't tell me silence was stronger and clear, 
For, the misery still remains turns innocence into cruelty can't bear.

Saturday, February 10, 2018

Ethics between cultures and religions

Ethics is the feeling of human that he is accountable to his conscience for what he should do, So, we don't call a human as a decent until he give his charity in secret and public seeking nothing in return,
And we can't call someone merciful human, until he learns to weep with his heart before his eyes weep, Nor a equitable or rightful human become he bravely learns to judge himself before he judges others, Nor sincere human before he becomes truthful and so that his actions believe in the his sincerity of his words, 

It does not benefit nor intercede for man to be what prevents him from the evil deeds just his fear of the torment of judgment day or his fears of the law, But it is useful for a man to let his conscience be the leader who guides him and his enlightenment, which is enlightened in the darkness and the hardships of his life the road to touch humanity.
Morals in my own world... is the tear that glitters on the eyes of man whenever his eyes fell on a landscape scenes of misery, 
It is the scream that the brave shout out in the face of injustice, in the face of tyranny for supporting the weak, 
However ethics in my world is a duty of self-fulfillment regardless of its consequences... If we wants to teach others how to do morality how to fill his shell wit humanity, first we must recall our own conscience.

Warm smile

And they abandon their hands, 
Tears of them eyes escaped
Time frozen between the lovers
She didn't ask him what we do

He didn't say anything to her too 
Just to words
She.. said goodbye
He.. said goodbye
Then them smile vanished, dried
And they hands became cold, died.
It was a poor farewell for a great love 

It was a poor farewell dose not fit the wounds,
It was a poor farewell ... Not worth telling,
Like a thread of silk we cut it from the beginning,
On the ground their still shadow .. Injured in a wounded wind,
As if they were branches of trees .. Dance in the heart of the wind,
The heart open its door for the wind and for the torment.

Stranger,

Give me a little time, I will arrange my life again and bring you back as you were, I did not regret for giving because I never waited for reciprocity, But let me hide in the arms of silence for my pain is unexplainable.
I will never forget the past nor forget the lesson, Man does not die if he loses love, but he lives as a dead person if he loses his dignity trying to catch the impossible, crying to hold on what still remains, 
The colors faded in my eyes when I was standing in front of my sand watch pegging its dials to go back, for a man does not become old before remorse fills his rooms of dreams
Roses wilt, Pens dried and even dreams sank in the darkness of our bitter reality,
So please.. give me a little time... I will rearrange my life again and bring you back ....... Stranger... as you were.

Wednesday, February 07, 2018

Before you dream

If we planning not to suffer from repeated disappointments we should try to picture our dreams inside the scope of our potential, Because dreams often need a practical reality to based on, to move in the direction of achieving it.
When you'll breaks into thousands of pieces, only you will have the ability to restore yourself, When you'll defeat in your life battles, Only your will... will help you, for your ability to stand up again it's a power only owned by you. 
See how the boat fighting with all the mighty waves of the sea and it doesn't drown, unless the sea water leaks inside.. Such a failure will not be able to control you unless pessimism will offside to your heart, so if your living was a dark sea of pain and despair, just try to cross it with a boat of patience,
But before we wake up I'd like to tell you that, the experiences taught me two priceless wisdom about dreams,
Do not try to reach a human who doesn't trying to reach you and
Do not fight the world for a human who can not fight his pride for you
.

Farewell


We all within us have those special things of farewell, But when the value is related with timing .. the balance of justice shakes between management and delay then remorse is unhelpful when it's too late,

Monday, February 05, 2018

Took my breath away

Through this life we're manipulating, hide our true thoughts, misleading and sometimes we even wear masks, but didn't we stopped for a while and asks ourself ... for what we do that, and what was the price..! 
For at the end we hope to make a definite profit, win a game, mocking and humiliate someone or just satisfying our pride.. there are a lot of motives but the most deceptive and most powerful deception is the deception we practice on ourselves,
As if we've been forced by our wildness ego to get a role in that endless stories called life, sailing through its chapters one after another hopping the end of our story will be happy, ignoring the facts that happy endings are only... unfinished stories and even death itself is not the end, but the beginning.
The amazing thing in our will that we usually smell the fragrance of the end from the very beginning, but we continue to struggle with facts and cling to illusions, ignoring what the story imposed on us.. alas,  

Very small is life...  Just an inhalation come in and If there isn't exhalation .... it's over

Sunday, February 04, 2018

World of oblivion

We go back with our thoughts for that very special time to search beneath our true laughter for happiness, and the sensations take us to where dreams was giving birth, and we see the seconds go rapidly from before us, and the same feelings still remain, and our books are still filled with the images of our childhood, the clarity and purity of our true love, to find that our seats still hugging the warmth of our stories.
Although you are having a lot of memories, but you can not choose what you remember and what you must forget, it is the memories itself which impose themselves at the time it wants, 
Definitely some memories were painful and offensive but when we will have a clear picture about the past we will realize that some of our memories are better than anything that could happen to us again, And in the mill of life we do not know the true value of moments of life until they are lost... lost in the depths of memory,
Memories, this sense of conscience which transcends the will, the heart and even feelings..  It's either a flame of self-aggrandizement which we hope that it will be wasted, or glowing candle which will light our future, or even an earthquake that will destroy our souls for the rest of our lifetime. and no matter we will accept the facts or not our memories will always remain silent stories left a lasting effect on us, like bells... bells beats in our own world of oblivion.

Despair and love

It is one of the most difficult problems a person facing... Despair is defined as a feeling that causes a person to lose hope in achieving what he wants, and this feeling eventually leads to loss of "appetite of life" if left untreated. There is no doubt that man's failure to do something, or in his knowledge drives him to despair, in this case if despair is necessary for a certain period and then passed, it is normal, because the life of man it's about his actions, this actions translated into emotions and feelings, But if the stage of despair persists, this will requires special treatment.
Everybody of us has gone through despair, because in every human being there is weakness and strength, courage and cowardice, steadfastness and surrender, purity and filth, the Savior resisting and the betrayal betraying, the weak collapsing under despair and the hero fighting until his last breath.
Since the purity of our souls have a closed manner as metals.. stretching with hope, shrinking with pain and get rusting with despair.
And because,   
We all have this beautiful dream which never came true, and we all crossed through the field of deception pulling the tails of our disappointment, otherwise the pinnacle of pain is that despair will chew us between his jaw before the frustration hits us on the road.
Yet still the most difficult types of despair is the despair in human relations, especially with regard to sincere feelings and love, actually desperation is sometimes an ally of love.
Many are those who have lost the way, taken from isolation and loneliness the sanctuary to them despair yet few those who could move on,  
If you know that you are in this ordeal alone, Make sure you are the only one who has the rudder for it's easy to sail with tide, It is easy to surrender to  typhoon... But you knew what, only the dead fish goes with the flow,
Now try in your desperation time to remember every single special moment passed through your mind and still remains hope, for only hope can defeat your negativity, it's defeat your fears to move on, search for it, find it and follow the road.