She is following me,

It is burning desire from heart of a lover, He can’t hide it from anybody under any kind of cover.
It may come to be known to every one, It may move on smoothly if objected by none, It may remain his exclusive desire to go for it... even alone, for he wants her to remain under his exclusive domain.
His main worry is just how to keep her by his side, She should remain there and stay permanently beside.
He may act unwise and dream in fool’s paradise, but he has many dreams to materialize, he builds castle in the air and wants to realize, yet she can't help him to live like king’s size, there is nothing wrong if nothing goes wrong and boat to capsize

It may be strong desire to move hand in hand, she may have to side with him and act as friend, This may possible be the road to fine end, flowers of all kinds with best wishes are daily sent.
He would want to her to remain at door steps, he must welcome her try to help, The relaxation can be extended by her kind gesture, the happiness may always be there if she is completely sure.
Who will not his companion to remain always in sight..!
She will come willingly to the cause whether wrong or right, It will be earnest attempt to walk along in difficult time, the priorities may be different but goal will remain as prime
It is not mad man’s race to go for it and capture, It may develop crack and relations stand to rupture, It needs confidence building with full trust, to win over the hear is condition and must.
Let us not remain confined to desires and wait it to come, Everybody may think of it and try to overcome, Sincere trial may be good step and welcome, It is desirable to prove worth of it or try to become.
It is not wrong to dream about future course, It has to be based on realities of course, It may not run aground for the want of reality, It has to have complete theme with continuity
It may add to fragrance with good smell, There may be different stories to tell, The desires can be met if everything goes well, It will be surrender not arising out of sale.

Ray of hope,

When nothing is left to remember, When no one is ready to accept me ... as member
What shall I do to remove the misgivings.?
Why do they need lips service and thanks giving.?
When dreams are shattered you have no way to go, You will have to make all out efforts and full weight to throw.
It is human psychology that works behind.?
Nothing works except few words of any kind, 
Nothing can be built on ashes, It comes all of sudden and finishes  
If it may be possible for you to raise new order, then life may still prove to be little harder.
Why not go as possible and easy way.?
letting me wonder if ... At the end of tunnel there is bright ray..!
Anyway it was never a thought in mind, exact reason I could not find... I really felt it was asking for something more, do I really had to think and explore.
I so sample and just needed a nice company, though I was blessed without enough of money, but if I was had enough, But really it was not so... and proving, O' it's very tough.
Romance always is my first choice, I had hidden feelings but could not voice, I wanted to shout on top of the roof, as I was lone soul and remained aloof.
It is divine gift to be given to a lonely soul, Entire world is dependent on it .. as whole, Nothing wrong in it If one goes for it.. You may head towards right direction on feet.
Let not be considered as simple game, One should bow down head and in loving you feel no shame, It is bound to take place and come, It is nice step and we need to welcome.
abandonment was as feel void in life, though it is like cutting edge of knife, One may feel something short of accomplishment, but still your companionship is like glorious moments.
And so, with time I realized that it is hard mission and not easy, though it engages us and keeps busy, there are lot many things to be done, Though the real battle is yet to be won.
It may not turn sordid affair, The chances are very fair, You got to take every care, firm commitments for doing fare.
We may move on smoothly, Everything can be tackled easily, for my darling romance can be built up only on definite trust, This is open criteria and must,

I'm with you

When the memory is strong, and something has gone wrong ... with no mood to sing a song but to keep silence and remain silent among.
When it has the direct bearing, the body is apart tearing ... the pain takes over the mind, where no way remains open solace to find.
When in love or no love, we must believe ... And in the real world we barely can live, and love is merely the strange fold.
How can I wish you sweet dreams when I get no sleep..?
Sleepless nights make me nervous and compel to weep, All great hopes are in tact with me and I shall always keep, I shall try to reach you even if path is dangerous and steep.
The stars may not shine, they may feel bad and not feel fine,
They may hide the face in clouds, we won’t be able to hear it loud,
The moon has also lost its charm, It has not remained cool and lost its warmth
No one can dream of sad event... It lacks warmth and nothing to comment,
When the memory is strong, and something has gone wrong ... with no mood to sing a song but to keep silence and remain silent among, I'm with you.. I'm with you.

When you suggested to me let us meet anywhere..

In a place Where existence is not there, We then will have enough freedom, With close quarter and ruling the wisdom, We exchanged so many pleasantries, Life was to level with your words and commentaries, No distance seemed between ocean and countries, Neither mountains, hills nor any boundaries, We had feelings for each other, Relation still didn't grow any further, when eyes never met any longer yet it still said what words failed to one another, Let us not forget this moment and bother .. I prayed for god sincerely for your hand, He smiled and blessings lend, I looked at you for further acceptance, you accepted it without any insistence, Now I have enough courage and bold strength, however I couldn't go and meet you at any length, Is it not necessary to see each other before we marry..!
Life' as challenge was to be understood and carry, One's was hesitant for slight moment, He too did not allow me for single movement, Slight delay was causing me some concern, I was not prepared for sudden and any 'U' turn, I offered my self for holy deal, I was there for his wounds to heal, With only condition for him to make you in my world... real, Waited for his approval for the final seal.
What word was I expecting from any mouth..., I did not care whether you were from north or south, I wanted firm commitment and promise, Relation was to be permanent. I was not here for simple game, He was not here for charge or fame, it was an earnest attempt to do with sincerity, What was at stake... Nothing but simple clarity,
I didn't know what all I did, conscious very clear and didn't hide, talks very clear and nothing to confide, sincere desire with best offer to provide. I am not sure of what others might say. I want to have perfect love in my way, then you came and grab me for ever, O god.. I want to rest on her shoulder forever.
He must know what I am and what does it mean..? I can offer my complete conscience and lean,  I want to know definitely and precisely learn, Will there be any treachery or any ugly turn..?
She can be whole and sole for me, I may consider her as holy gift from thee, Since I know she is meant for my existence, I simply don't worry for her continued absence,
See to it that it is done with all good show, Allow me the freedom to mushroom and grow, I will stand all the taste of cruel wind, I stand there alone ... and you for me.. should find.

dreaming isn't enough

All dreams may not come true... All credits due may not accrue... But with true reflection in mind, Ideas newer and newer may emerge and find, though may not be the nature too so kind.
Dreaming in day time is not at all good, for good thoughts and efforts work as food, Earnest efforts to come out of wood, Failure may stun and you loose the hope, Still not difficult to walk on tight rope.
It is not bad to dream for high sky, Speak always truth and do not lie, You may not have wings to fly, Still nothing wrong to work and try, No need to think or needlessly cry.
You must have third sense to rise, All acts should be sensible and wise, Rise and fall is part of our life game, Goal and ideas you must frame, No use trying luck or fate to blame.
What ever you do must be with resolve, Take full blame and never try to absolve, Put in best efforts to come out and solve, Full dedication and make everybody to involve, Try to mix with all as soluble dissolve.
Complete days routine and reflections of day's thoughts, In night, thoughts clash and hard won battles are fought, Freedom and joy sincerely thought and brought, Stealing in day time but not easily caught, Simply night dreaming when lying in the cot.
Continue to seek solution in dream, Energy not focused but travel in beam, Try very hard and work as team, Good efforts in direction but not as power game, Not letting any opportunity with excuses lame
So I find easy way to seek refuge in night, Lie low and have good say without light, more and more attention I try to pay, Always hope to find way in form of ray.
Life doesn't end with setting of day, Sun may rise again with bright ray, Your hopes may be high and tall, Vast horizon may lie open for all, Try for success without any fall.

the magic answer.

There is something like conscience... It gives light in its presence, The soul is awakening to experience... All gates are opened hence
The answer was just before.. I had to go no where, to seek just an answer... The opportunity waited there.
You may come out from long sleep... There may be even chance to silently peep, This may keep you in good spirit... The light will be dimly lit
We aren't fresh like green leaf.. Just emerged but stay for brief, One slow shake from the wind... The virtual ground place to find.
Whether you understand or neglect... Choice is nearly open to select,.. There has to be clear ad visible act.. This is reality and fact,
We may not realize it till the life come to an end, Don't.. This isn't negative and suicidal trend... We got to think and make amend,... This beautiful message is to be spread and sent.
There may not come any warning... The answer lies with only you.. for very good morning,
The night and end cycle may repeat without fail.. so, we may seek His blessings and avail.

this..

 عندما تزرف آخر قطرات الحنين. 

وترى الحب... اطياف يملؤها الانين.

 اجساد نضب بها الامل... بين بؤس و ليين

 لا تسألني يا حبيبي. هل لازلت... لحبك... مدين.!
فالعشق بلا رحمة.. ملحد ... بلا دين.

honored promise.

When the sun will set over our crowns of ego, there will be few seconds left no time for regrets... Thousand of memories will struggling silently to pictured itself in the apple of our fading colors, 
until horizon will hold that priceless last Ray, until the light will dimming in that deep blue infinity carring countless unfinished hopes into the land of oblivion, 
at this very moment.. I give you my honored promise... I'll only recall your name.

To you.. who sow wisdom

To you who sow wisdom will reap plenty of intelligence and adorn them on your mind like gracious morning sunbeam.
wits for it will not vanish from the dusk to dawn and blessings from heaven with an angels sing the daybreak tune.
To you who plow thousand fields of honor and integrity, who count pearls in the oceans and dive into the deepest sea with minimal understands how life goes in a simple way, and how humans secrets keep.
whichever... there's no place to escape away from reality, nor escape from reveal.
To you who can't say a word, your silence always in my mind screams, hidden a thousand answers with a tenderly dream.
To you who have the reason to deem, judge not thy who... who writes impossible dream, let him reap the result of thy tilling, and fill his baskets with hope, to the journey he is simply failed to aim.

A day before I giving birth.

When fear puts you in dismay
It may be hard to find your way
When this is so, stand up and say
That the fear just cannot stay
And then the fear will go away.
Though I lack the courage
To heed my own words
I urge you to listen
To what you have heard
Stand up to your fears whatever they are
And show them that they can't stop you from being a star

أ.. ب .. سياسه

سئل  طفل والده : ما معنى الفساد السياسي
فأجابه : لن أخبرك يا بني لانه صعب عليك في هذا السن،لكن دعني أقرب لك الموضوع
انا اصرف على البيت لذلك فلنطلق علي اسم الرأسمالية...
و امك تنظم شؤون البيت لذلك سنطلق عليها اسم الحكومة...
و انت تحت تصرفها لذلك فسنطلق عليك اسم الشعب...
و اخوك الصغير هو املنا فسنطلق عليه اسم المستقبل...
اما الخادمة التي عندنا فهي تعيش من ورائنا فسنطلق عليها اسم القوى الكادحة
اذهب يا بني وفكر عساك تصل الى نتيجة.....
و في الليل لم يستطع الطفل ان ينام .. فنهض من نومه قلقآ و سمع صوت أخيه الصغير يبكي فذهب اليه فوجده بل حفاضته.
ذهب ليخبر امه فوجدها غارقة في نوم عميق ولم تستيقظ ،
و تعجب أن والده ليس نائما بجوارها..
فذهب باحثآ عن أبيه
فنظر من ثقب الباب الى غرفة الخادمة فوجد أبوه معها بوضع منافي للاخلاق ...
و في اليوم التالي
قال الولد لابيه! : لقد عرفت يا أبي معنى الفساد السياسي .
فقال الوالد: وماذا عرفت ..
قال الولد :
عندما تلهو الرأسمالية بالقوى الكادحة وتكون الحكومة نائمة في سبات عميق فيصبح الشعب قلقا تائها مهملاً تماماً و يصبح المستقبل غارقا في القذارة...

Moon day dust giving, birth to Sunday kissing

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust... The shattered remains of my broken trust,
Which has never been repaired
Because all this time I've been wounded and scared.
But if it ever could be done... I know that I'd be you.. the one.
To show me people aren't all bad.. and not everybody makes me sad.
You've made me weak and helped me grow, You've shown me things I've never known.
But the one thing I realized I was never knew, Is now I can't picture a life without you.

I started to love myself along ago... not ego.

When you look in the mirror what do you see?
is the person whose looking back the person you want to be?
Maybe you wish you were a bit taller
maybe you wish your ears were smaller
perhaps you would like to change your nose
have better feet and nicer toes
Maybe you wish you had a more attractive face
wider hips and a thinner waist
maybe you would like a broader chest
a flatter tummy and bigger breast
Many things about your body
you could complain about
you are unhappy with they way., you turned out
The way you look to others ... might cause you to feel rejected
all you want is to fit in, be loved and accepted
If that's they way you were made then what can you do?
First you have to start loving yourself and then, others will start loving you.

لا تسألني.. يا حبيبي.

لا تسالني يا حبيبي.. كيف هذا الحب جاء
لا تسالني يا حبيبي.. أين كان البدءُ... أين كان الإنتهاء
  لست ادري يا حبيبي... كل ما ادري أني لست أدري.. غير أن اليوم كان الأربعاء
والتقينا في رحاب الليل... عشنا وانتشينا.. ونسينا النوم والدنيا... وحتى الأصدقاء
وتكلمنا وطفنا الكون بالحب... نغرد كطائرين عاشقين .. من الغروب حتى المساء
ربما اللحظات طالت في الجفون ... ربما ضاع الوقت في عمق السكون ... ربما غبنا عن الارض وعدنا
يا حبيبي...  يا حبيبي لمسار الروح في عمق العيون
هذه اللحظات فاتت... فاتت... غير ان كلما مرت... يزيد بي الحنين
هذه اللحظات افديها بعمري... قد يهون العمر لكن لا تهون... ثم تسأل ما الذي قلنا .. وقلنا
يا حبيبي ... جن قلبي بصمتك  وما احلي الجنون
سمني ما شئت... لكن لا تسألني فكل ما قلناه... يعلو فوق ظني
كل ما توارى بين صمتك وصمتي .. يا حبيبي .. اصبح الان ترتيلي ولحني
همس الصمت من وحي الهوا... ليس منك يا حبيبي ليس مني
كنت صوت الحب ...  وانا كنت الصدي
أسأل...  أسأل الحب ولكن لا تسالني... سوف ياتيك الصدي بلحن التمني
فالاجلك... لأجلك اصبح الصمت يغني

Life can only be understood backwards

The best way to find what matters the most is to lose something precious to you. and It's nice to look back in your past when you see it as a lesson, not as something to regret. You know when life gets stressful, never forget the things you should remember, and remember the things you should forget. Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards. Today I will. Pray more, worry less, laugh more, stress less, hug more and hurry less.
O,.. dear God, I woke up, I am healthy, I am alive, thank you. I apologize for all my complaining. I'm truly grateful for all you've done.

My angel.

You are my shadow, you are my rain, your are my lonely left only pain, you are my tears, you are my fears.. I'm restless even in my dreams.

Being slave to love.. is my free will.

Do we know what freedom is ..!
We are always see what we allow to see
We are always limited by bounds
We are always tied to something
We are always attracted to something
All of us should to die at the end; that's why we all are always limited by our lifetime, yet to be free .. completely free we need to never become a slaves to our own thinking and our own self. Understand that we are continuously changing, But...., in which way we will change is our free will.

I'm exactly where God wants me to be.

Things happen for a reason basically means that everything happens for good. All the things that happen to us in our lives are somewhere down the line, destined to happen.
Failures, turns and twists and adversities might break us down and lessen or morale completely. But even we should learn to take them in our stride and learn from every bad experience too. Tracey Gold had once remarked, “I don't believe things happen in vain. I believe they happen for a reason.” Everything that happens to us in our lives happens for good and teaches us a lesson. Perhaps one should learn from every kind of experience whether good or bad. People who keep their chin up even in the most testing circumstances can always end up making a lot out of their lives.
Believe me ... in our life Nothing happens by accident; you are exactly where God wants you to be.

lost hope

In the last month... I have suffered from burns in my body of the third degree. I fought my pain patiently by faith. And in the strongest times of my weakness I stood like anold lighthouse which wrestling those high waves of pain alone and bravery. But in moments of consciousness and perception... I was sure that the pain of losing one's last hope ... Will always remains more powerful in the smashing of my fading determination.

wounds.. never mend.

Somewhere far away, 
A star glows and hides behind the moon
The moon smiles and hides behind the clouds. Even the sun shines and hides behind a mountain.
Somewhere far far away.
Someone's heart whispers among voiceless opening seas, Tears flow down in streams of silent waters... When.. Memories rise beyond this helpless skies... And a true heart whispers cryingly in reply ... You he who still dreaming.. You gotta awake up, .. gotta .. awake up.

Fading strength,

The worst feeling in the world is knowing you did the best you could and it still wasn't good enough, Sometimes we all need someone who believes in us just a little bit more than we do ourselves in order for us to become stronger but, as much as we grave in this life or another What we allow, is what will continue. You know..! Sometimes I miss The old, Happy Me but i believe that; from pain something will grow from all i'm going through. And it will be me..

Unforgettable

Never forget that three types of people in your life.. Who helped you, who left you and who put you in your difficult time
Never forget that being good to people is like being a Goal Keeper, no matter how many goals you save, people .. will only remember the ones you Missed..!

trust in god.. "118672"

We forgive seeking for getting comfort from bile,
We forget hoping for new innocent clear smile,
We keep silent because there is no benefit in the argument to find,
We ignoring for there is nothing that will hold back reproach can find,
We are patient because our trust in the Creator has no limits,
We all knew that ...
The self always covetous yet the reasons are always failing.
The self is lost between despair and growling,
Do not be sad whenever the world shrinking around you while it grows wider for others,
And look at the moon and this darkness skies how they became more magnificence together,

Wounds

Wounds are a city of pain... You screams with the last breath of your fading determination.... And only the echo of your tears replying.

Every human being living on this earth hope for something
Poor people hope that one day money will come their way
The rich folks hope to multiply their assets before long
Several men hope for a wife who is as caring as their mother
Many women hope for husbands who is as loving as their father
Children always hope for parents who will give them everything
Bankers hope that everybody will pay their mortgages in time
Thieves and robbers hope the police should stop harassing them
While the police hope that every person will be law-abiding
Priests and clerics hope that everyone will live a sacred life
Experienced nurses hope the doctors will treat them with respect
Medical doctors hope their patients will recuperate faster
Careful drivers hope that other drivers will drive like them
Teachers hope all students will do their home-work regularly
While the students hope the teachers will give them easy exams,
Farmers always hope for good and abundant harvest
Lawyers hope more and more people will need their services
Fishermen hope that more and more fishes run into their nets
All politicians hope to get elected and re-elected
Employers hope their workers will volunteer for overtime
Even the mechanics always hope more people will buy used-vehicles
The point is .. Do you honestly can Distinguish the malignant and the good in your hopes...!
What are your personal hopes on this earth..! Is it still personal hopes..!
So... What are your hopes for your family ?
What are your hopes for your country ?
 What are your hopes for your environment.. Do you knew lately you will realize that the day we humans stop hoping on this earth..... Will be the day we cease to be members of this beautiful planet,

Through the sky.

Your love... Is love without ending as vast as the sea, mercy divine I'm sure forever it will be. infinite grace it has no end, eternal redemption the heavens you'll rend.
And all these flow down from a mountain so high, That it reaches the heavens.. Yes to heaven and bursts through the sky.
When I survey.. Into the heavens above, I'm awed by the vastness... I'm awed by only your love.
In this earth or another one day i'll stand on eternities shore,
How vast is your love...! I'm sure there is no more.
Only then ... I'll know how vast is the sea,
Only then ... I'll know that I Loved you eternally.

pain

I can't measure the pain fill my sight and that's the things I fear at night
Every time I try to lie on this strange bed, only pain I dare do dread
To stay safe, I hide under this sheet.. For I don't want pain to get more of my feet
Scary shadows are cast on my wall, by the nightlight in this unknown hall
Starting to sweat from the mind into the heat, I can't feel my hand, my leg even the heart sometimes it refuses begin to beat.
So scared and alone I want to cry, but if I make a noise I also might die
I feel like I have been hiding for a week and they will not find what they seek.
Waiting and hiding, is there nothing at all?
What are these things against my wall?
Peaking out with just one eye, Doctor and ...a nurse I still do spy
Maybe they aren't bad and not mean, o .. That is what it's starting to seem
Getting out of the covers and feeling cold, I dear for something I can hold
Starting to weep and wondering if only…Do I'll die... lonely ?
I hold those ideas tightly against my bleeding head, then I got back to This cold bed.

From wherever you are,

In the grave of life, we taking ourselves down pathways of lonely moments, searching for meaning, love or companionship... Remembering Being let down at every turn, abandoned, left alone to fend for ourselves... To be not who we used to be but to be who we are now,
Truncated beyond belief, hiding behind sorrow's tears, 
Afraid of.. moving beyond it's hurtful limits,
Afraid of... the unknown awaiting us in the darkness ahead, 
Then in silence, breathlessly our souls keep replying ... Please, please..
Please come hold me tight... my sweet Angel of true and loving light.

Nameless ..

So strange..  How in a second our wounds can mend,  as far as our mind and heart can comprehend... It is the most caring heart at hand.. and the sweetest mind to understand
O.. that tender heart inside you, the understanding attitude, even awaiting you in gratitude.. to bloom and reach the helping hand too.
O..  That feeling is the complete formula, between you and the other constantly, an ocean of flooding emotions.. Melody.. Our own tempo, no matter it be slow or fast, a constant calm feel, easy to mend, never to bend.. And eternally will last.

Summer Rain

Poor heart feeling pain, when in summer it hears the ringing of rain,
It rains in my heart as on town and on mart, pours down longings that start.. to reign in my heart..!
O, soft ringing of rain.. It rains without reason, in hurt heart fears have lease on.
What..?
no season for treason..!
Do I grieve without reason..!
What most hurts me, that eternally I'll wait.. Don't ask me Why.. For I was not knowing, my sad fate,
I'm dying without love, without Even hate, For on my heart... lies... deadweight.

Very short story

A dog rushes out of the house upon a negligently opened door
it rushed further into the the careless gate into the busy road of the city
wagging its tail jumping happily over its newly found freedom
until it is run over by a mindless truck heading towards the forest
and the puppy lies crushed dead on the busy road where passersby do not mind what is happening
and you who had carelessly opened the door still reads a book while munching on fish chips and white wine inside your lonely room.

The game

Into the light we aim ourselves away from darkness we sweard, but i guess we both were blinded, let us settle midway and taste the bitterness of letting behind.
Into dusk let us toast this drink of gray.. I... I have spoken my lines that is what i am forced to do, and you have spoken your lines too and that is what they are telling you to do.
you cannot be my comfort anymore ... distance are not arms and distance is cold, feeling less.. o so poor.
your words are mere words like faces without names... i have spoken and you have spoken
now i am going back to sleep... it is done.. Didn't you know... There is no more games.

In love graves

 I need no ink to paint the pain... For when we passed by their graves... Those dead feelings there,
Winners or losers... There is nobody still care.. Because in the dark... We couldn't see, Who had gained.. The victory.

Faithfully

Notwithstanding that I'm beneath the darkness, but I'm not miserable because light full of my heart and all of my sensation, 
I'm not fears this gloomy life, because dawn ... always will find its way to reborn in the womb of darkness,
I never missed you... I never lost me because both living there... where dreams and fairy tails giving birth and breath faithfully.

when the spring knocks souls doors.

One of us was so selfish in his love, one of us had been sold for free when thought he was above.
Who had lost dreaming, who still can't bearing, who was the wound and who was spreading fake feeling.
i haven't coming back for blaming you, i haven't  come back to recall our memories too, but i do miss you when the spring knocks souls doors.

Eternity

You heart of colors I can not find to it a name when all your feelings are thread on that weaken string, didn't you knew that; you are to me like the life's burning flame that through thousand life in eternity always... will sing,
If ever you have thoughts clearly to see... My heart is whisper and you softly will hear, when always you feel me ... close to your ear,
I love you
I love you
Echoes to clear the road on.. Footsteps to pass and come to my memory and my existence, all is of honest feelings .. and what is now gone.

Give me hope to live

There will be a time when time of pride will go through darkness of lost years and dying,
Like vanishing footsteps lost into winter's snow and rain from the cloud will flow when the sky crying,
No hope will rise us to a new born bloom for life on earth shall all be doom when eternally on the darkness will come with dust of the earth and killing,
Be there for years... hundred more and some ... and never to leave it's death empty filling,
Listen to the wind no ears will hear only your empty gardens and space
Life’s then lost and dried every tear only the silence remains and our abandon place.

Earth Day..

In a world where money has the power to undermine human principles, rapping innocence, enslave weak souls morality.
In a world where people planting hatred, feeds it on the tears of the weak and enjoy watching them reaps the pain.
In a world full of pretenders, where masks becomes personal fashion, honesty rabidly vanished when we started to deny the truth and believe in lying.
How could we respect our environment and adapt with it..!

When I feel

When I feel, I feels like my heart still aches with sadness, secret tears still flow, what it meant to lose you, no-one will ever know...
The days we spent together, the happy times we knew, are all lived again so often, in my memories of you.
Don't ask me if I feel for feeling is like rose, eager for water to grow, when all the facts said, whom left ... And who fights with demons And never let go.

In a moment of silence

In a moment of silence the shadows of your memories grabbed the senses of our days together, they awakening the willingness of longing.. They flam the fire in my heart and bring a tear into my eyes.
In a moment of silence the memories of our past hunting my existence, reminded me with our heavenly unconditional love, with the pain I've suffered joyfully in my emotions, even the bitterness of your abandonment.
In a moment of silence I remembered how I was unhappy and ignorant .. How I was believed that I could forget you.. How I bleed precious tears for nothing..
In a moment of silence the shadows of your memories whispered to my mind and I grabbed the senses of your existence, asking me to run from my pain and suffering to rest in your hands.
Why..
Why after I hardly used to accept your abandonment,
Why after I forgot how to dream, and lost the hope,
They awakening the longing to your smile in my eyes,  they awakening the willingness to hear your voice, they even awakening jealous, suspicious and doubt... Leaving my heart melted with the pain of it's moan.
In a moment of silence..  Night become so cold, lonely and long.. Recalling what we share together.. Groaning with your name silently.

swimming in fantasy world.

Our life begins to an end the moment we start being silent about the things that matter.!
Our Life will keep bringing us the same test, over and over and over again, til we pass it...! 
Our life becomes real only when we begin to face and solve our own problems. Until then we only swim in circles, in a large fantasy world which tends to make us very tired of living.

into the center of bitterness.

Don't ask..  Just don't ask.. It's
Fair enough to know that the same life which we fail to share our bodies joyfully in togetherness is the same life we do shared our beautiful unreachable dreams.
Don't ask..  Just don't ask.. I was designed to succeed not because vanity or selfish ego, but I'm denying failure because I did all I can do without saving any power to step back from achieving my dreams.
Don't ask..
Don't
For desperate buried my hopes under the sea of tears.

There is nothing to discover out of my shell for.. The world outside was full of light, there was no fear, no hate, no night,
love and life were free to all, no one could hear the darkness call,
The world outside is colder now, I feel the fear, the hateful row,
The world outside is darker now, I see it flow, I hear it's vow,
I hear no darkness, But feel much fear, in sadness I somehow shed a tear,
love is scarce, so very rare, I hear the darkness, feel it's snare,
The world outside grows darker still, I'm losing hope, I’ve no free will
The darkness grows ever stronger, I wonder if I’ll last much longer,
The world outside is black and cold, my very soul feels weak and old,
I gaze into the shadowed lake,my eyes, my hands, seem somehow fake,
The world outside has but one light, one tiny glimmer through the blight,
a fire burning deep within, I feel it's warmth throughout my skin.

I..

I'm the slave he who his gain sins, and his wishful thinking and desires deprived him of turn in forgiveness,
I'm the slave he who became wound up, sad and dark.. From his slips, faults and mistakes had so many concerns and bleak, 
I'm the slave he who written on him... Records of deeds When he forgotten about the observer,
I'm the offensive slave he who hiddenness  disobeyed,... So why I can't signify a  desire for lamentation,
I'm the additional slave he who wasted his life,  when I don't fend  my youthfulness, hoariness and even the decline of my life. 
I'm the drowned slave in the deep of my seas, ... Blazing away perhaps I'll find responsive,
I'm the disordered slave with.. his sins, and I fold what was hold .. Plead desire eagerly, beseech for my curative,
I'm the stray slave he who has wronged himself..  And here I comes in front of your heavenly gates.. turning ... To confiss.

Expansive lesson.

At some point while we're ageing... 
We will know that respect is more important than love,
We will know that understanding is more important  than commensurability,
We will know that trust is more important than jealousy,
We will know that patience is the most evidence for your sacrifice, 
We will know that the most perfect device for Lie detector... Is time. 
At some point while we're ageing... 
We will abandon everything behind, our innocence smiles, our happy and painful stories, our tranquality, our calmality, our pain, our passions and even our noisiness... Nothing will still remains but the remembrance..
Just try as hard as you can to be a good memories in the hearts of all who will remember you.

Somewhere nevertheless here

Sealing every night with my memories and convince myself that, I am ready to move on, start a new day, away from here, from pain, from being gain, far far away.
Every thing I do, everything I say, is rewritten in someone else's way. 
Only to hurt me and make me look bad, to try and damage any relationship I've had. 
My family has been broken and torn apart, It's left a giant hole in my desperate heart.. 
No words can describe what I'm feeling right now.. No one to help me, I couldn't ask any how. 
I only know this place isn't for me, I must go on and see what I can be. 
I only want happiness and loved ones near,  I must go somewhere but somewhere isn't nevertheless here.!